Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Partner recently tested positive... the doctors don’t give enough info!

Recommended Posts

Hi everybody. I am new here and new to this topic. My boyfriend recently tested positive for HSV but we don’t know whether is 1or 2 and his doctor told us it doesn’t matter what kind, he has Herpes. Kind of rude and leaves tons of questions for us both. I will just explain all of my concens and I really hope someone can give me some clarity. We used to always have sex unprotected. One day he comes home and has these bumps on his stuff. I haven’t been with anybody else since November and had been tested before we got serious and had nothing concerning come back. He told me he did the same. So we don’t know where this could have come from. We didn’t believe it was Herpes, maybe a rash from new baby wipes we use to clean up after sex. So we had sex with a condom and the next day he was tested. Came back as Herpes a few days later. I also was retested and still am negative (at least up to that test). A week went by and the scabs healed and the skin is smooth so we had sex really fast with no condom which I regret so deeply now. I’ve done research and learned how bad asymptotic shedding can be after the first break out. We also had sex last night and the condom broke. So I am very scared I now have been exposed and I am already dealing with bad depression. I am in love and want to support my boyfriend and still be with him. The fear of not knowing enough or even what to really do is making me think the worst and fall into a very bad depression I feel like I have nobody to talk to, can’t tell my friends or family. And he just gets angry with me when I try to tell him my thoughts about it because he simply doesn’t want to talk about it. Thanks so much for reading If you did. I am so scared

Link to comment


You have to work on discussing the fundamental importance of communication with your boyfriend. It's integral to rising above fear, confusion and sadness when in a relationship.

You can start by telling him you don't have anyone else you are comfortable about talking to about it, and you want to be able to talk to him. That he should want to be supportive just like you are being supportive for him. That you know he is worried that you will leave over just herpes, and that you don't want things to end just because of a medical diagnosis.


Invite your boyfriend to visit a different doctor. One who will answer all of your questions and treat your concerns with the due care you expect from a professional.


In the meantime, if sex scares you right now, say so. It's okay to tell your boyfriend that you want to abstain, or only have sex certain ways. Sex requires mutual concent every time, not just once. You shouldn't feel regret or shame ever. Nobody should feel that way, not him and not you.


You're prepared to investigate the risk and accept him, flaws included. He should try to meet you half way and help you research and discuss how you each feel about being in a relationship, what you're afraid of, and how you want things to be.

But approach it from the angle that if things end, it won't just be because of herpes. It will be because things aren't going well as a relationship. That might help him open up about things.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...