How soon is too soon

[Sadieg]

How soon after a breakout am I able to have sex and oral sex. I have HSV1 and got over my first break out a week ago. I saw my doctor a week ago and she told me to wait one week after I finish my meds (that was a week ago) and maybe one more. So 2 weeks after the BO has healed. Would you all agree? I feel great down south! I know there is shedding going on after the BO but how long does that last. My bf has not been tested and doesn’t want to get tested; I just don’t want to infect him. So sex and oral sex.. any thoughts or experiences?

[RegularGuy]

If you and your boyfriend are concerned about the chances of transmission, you should definitely consider staying on suppression medicine and use condoms.

Doing both of those things decreases the chances of transmission by a huge margin. Just keep in mind that there will always be risk. You just need to communicate directly about what acts you each think are okay, and understand that each other's opinions of what is too risky might change day to day.

It's always okay to ask, "Is this okay?"

It is always okay to respond, "No, I don't want to do that."

No matter how long you have been together, or how many times you have done that certain thing, it's always okay to ask or to refuse. That's an important part of being in a relationship. You have to find each other's comfort level and match it accordingly.

Don't worry, the uncertainty will ease and things will start to feel more natural soon. But for now, a little extra care for how you each feel about risk is a good thing.

Much like when you first started dating, there will be a short time of feeling things out.