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Did I transmit???

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Hi, I’m new, so bare with my rambling 🙂 


I was diagnosed with HSV2 in early 2013, think I got it from my now ex-husband, but we never had him tested so I’ll never know if sure if I contracted it then, or have had it longer than 5 years and just didn’t know before my first outbreak. I have had 2-3 outbreaks between 2013-2016, during which I only took Valtrex for the outbreaks, or if I was in a stressful situation and thought I may bring an OB on. 


Fast forward to December 2017 when I started seeing someone new (well, we had been friends for a couple years and started a romantic relationship in Dec. 2017). I started taking daily acyclovir (400mg 3x a day) in January. Never miss a dose. 

We started having sex in December, prior to my daily acyclovir, and lots of sex. No condoms. We have sex at least twice a week, except when I’m on my period. We have never used condoms, even before acyclovir. 

It has now been 8 months almost and my partner has never shown signs of contracting herpes from me. However, we had sex three times this weekend between Saturday afternoon and Sunday morning  (each act typically last 5-10mins before he “finishes”) and starting yesterday (Monday), he was feeling nauseous late in the afternoon. It passed, but then he felt nauseous after eating breakfast this morning. Said he felt fine before that. Still says he feels ok, just “weird.” I’m freaking out thinking this is a sign I’ve transmitted.

Am I driving myself crazy over nothing? I take my suppressive therapy religiously. I know we don’t use condoms, but I know the transmission rates are still very low. 

Other factors: I bare shave, he doesn’t shave at all. I’ve never noticed any breaks in the skin of his genital area. I’m always very well lubricated during sex. We have “hard” sex sometimes, but I wouldn’t call it “rough.” He sometimes performs oral on me for a long time before vagina sex.....is that making shedding occur???

I feel like all I do is worry I have transmitted, even though he knows the risk. I still don’t want to give it to him. Everything I’ve read on this forum and others says that it’s actually really hard for a man to get herpes from a woman, especially if she’s on suppressive therapy. And, the stories of discordant couples are so helpful. But, I’m that over thinker and hypochondriac that thinks I’ve given it to him every time we have sex. Yet, we’ve gone almost 8 months with a lot of sex since the very beginning and he’s never shown signs.....but the timing of this nausea worries me. He’s not having any other flu like symptoms (maybe some nasal drainage, but he has that anyway pretty often) but one little thing like this scares me to death. 

Help..... 😞 

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Okay. So it’s time to put your big girl panties on and just see how the cards fall.  You and your partner are two aware adults who have decided to have sex in a more risky fashion so you rolled the dice and the odds will be what they are.   The most noted thing about transmission rates is that it’s ALWAYS a chance.   If it was so hard to give away this forum wouldn’t exist.  With that being said though, it doesn’t seem like he’s exhibiting anything but nausea?  That’s not a definitive herpes symptom. Now had you sad he had a fever, swollen lymph’s, sharp pains in the groin area or even itchy ness I’d say be hyper alert. But nausea he can take some pepto.  

Only time will tell if you transimitted or not and since you guys decided on the care free path just stick to it.  Don’t worry yourself sick about something you already KNEW.  If it appears you guys will deal with it together if it doesn’t you guys will continue to take the risk to make it possible so why all the anguish (unless now you guys are going to start using protection).  Just wait it out and continue your antivirals as you’ve been doing. It will all be okay 

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