Lesbians with herpes

[Rachael]

When sleeping with women I want to be sure that I'm not putting the other person in danger of transmission, what precautions do I need to take?

Any advise would be great

[mr_hopp]

It's all about what you're rubbin' and where you're rubbin' it. 🙂 With women, there is more of a risk of transmission than men (10% for women vs. 4% for men — check the handouts for more details on those %s) because of more mucous membrane. So if you rub the area where you've had herpes outbreaks against your partner's mucous membrane, there's a 10% chance if you don't have any sort of protective layer between you two or take meds. (If you have a protective layer, chance of transmission drops to 5%, add in meds and it drops again to 2.5%). It can get complicated because there are different transmission rates based on which strain of herpes is where on the body and where that body part is being rubbed on the other person (I know, I'm making this sound totally sexy). 😛 What kind of HSV do you have? HSV-1 or HSV-2?

[Rachael]

5 hours ago, mr_hopp said:

It's all about what you're rubbin' and where you're rubbin' it. 🙂 With women, there is more of a risk of transmission than men (10% for women vs. 4% for men — check the handouts for more details on those %s) because of more mucous membrane. So if you rub the area where you've had herpes outbreaks against your partner's mucous membrane, there's a 10% chance if you don't have any sort of protective layer between you two or take meds. (If you have a protective layer, chance of transmission drops to 5%, add in meds and it drops again to 2.5%). It can get complicated because there are different transmission rates based on which strain of herpes is where on the body and where that body part is being rubbed on the other person (I know, I'm making this sound totally sexy). 😛 What kind of HSV do you have? HSV-1 or HSV-2?

Ok this makes sense. I have only ever had 2 outbreaks before and just want to know if this is going to happen every time you have sex or is it when you just have certain contact? I know to look after myself in terms of diet, hydration and sleep but what are the other signs that an outbreak is going to happen?

[mr_hopp]

If what is going to happen every time you have sex? If you're asking if the risk is there every time you have sex, then yes. There is always that % risk averaged over the course of a year. And when it comes down to it, the best safety precaution you have is your awareness that you have it. When we avoid intimate contact if we feel tingles or any other prodrome symptom and avoid sex during outbreaks, then that helps a lot toward protecting our partners. 

And what strain of HSV do you have? 

[Rachael]

22 minutes ago, mr_hopp said:

If what is going to happen every time you have sex? If you're asking if the risk is there every time you have sex, then yes. There is always that % risk averaged over the course of a year. And when it comes down to it, the best safety precaution you have is your awareness that you have it. When we avoid intimate contact if we feel tingles or any other prodrome symptom and avoid sex during outbreaks, then that helps a lot toward protecting our partners. 

And what strain of HSV do you have? 

I meant will I have an outbreak every time I have sex?

HSV 2

 

 

[mr_hopp]

No, having sex won’t trigger an outbreak every time for most people. How long have you had herpes?

[Rachael]

13 hours ago, mr_hopp said:

No, having sex won’t trigger an outbreak every time for most people. How long have you had herpes?

Ok that's good to know. Iv had it for 10 years and avoided a lot of things because of it. It's great to know there are resources like this available though so thank you 😊 

[mr_hopp]

My pleasure! For most people, even after a year, their bodies have enough control over the virus via antibodies that viral shedding and outbreaks tend to decrease. And over a longer and longer time, the body tends to have it more and more handled. Enjoy yourself, @Rachael! 🙂 

[Rachael]

1 hour ago, mr_hopp said:

My pleasure! For most people, even after a year, their bodies have enough control over the virus via antibodies that viral shedding and outbreaks tend to decrease. And over a longer and longer time, the body tends to have it more and more handled. Enjoy yourself, @Rachael! 🙂 

So do you think that I haven't had an outbreak for so long that it will get less as time goes on?

thank you hopefully I will now that I have more knowledge and the confidence to talk about things rather than avoid them

[mr_hopp]

Yes, that tends to be the case for most people. In cases like these, knowledge truly is power. It has he power to give us the facts instead of hiding behind imagined horrible fantasies. There’s always a risk, but being careful over being paranoid is key. Because paranoia disconnects and care connects. 

[Rachael]

4 hours ago, mr_hopp said:

Yes, that tends to be the case for most people. In cases like these, knowledge truly is power. It has he power to give us the facts instead of hiding behind imagined horrible fantasies. There’s always a risk, but being careful over being paranoid is key. Because paranoia disconnects and care connects. 

Thank you for all your advise 🙂

i just need to deal with things head on ranger than avoid and this will ultimately lead to me telling the woman I'm dating.