Was recently diagnosed with HSV-2

[prettylady_92]

A couple weeks ago I was having some issues down there and it just don't feel right so I decided to get tested just for peace of mind. I told myself oh its nothing just a yeast infection or something these results will come back negative. Well I was wrong. It was Monday evening when I got the phonecall confirming one of my biggest fears, having an STD. My doctor was so calm when she told me but I couldn't stop freaking out. I just drove around for hours and cried. I wanted to crash my car. I drove past a telephone pole 6 times and thought seriously about going full speed into it, but I decided not to. I was a scared, confused, angry. I didn't know what to think, what to say, or what to do. I feel like my life is over. I'm only 21. My love life will nonexistent. I feel as though I'll be alone forever. Who will want to have sex with me when I tell them I have herpes? No one. Who will want to marry me? No one. And then I thought about kids. I wanted kids one day but I'll probably never have them now. I've read that it's really easy to spread herpes to your baby during childbirth. So here I am, I'll be single forever, I'll never have children. I'm just depressed about the whole thing. I'm so mad at myself for being so careless and naive. I've only slept with 2 guys. My most recent boyfriend was who I got the herpes from. I was always really careful and had never had sex without a condom until him. I cared about him and trusted him so when he said he didn't want to use a condom I just went along with it. He never told me he had herpes. I don't know if he even knew he had it. If ihad to guess I'd say he probably knew and just didnt care to pass it on to me. We broke up about a month ago. I don't know if I should tell him. I don't even know how to bring it up. And if I did tell him he would probably try and turn it around and say I gave it to him, because he's a shitty person. We don't talk anymore so I don't want to randomly contact him to tell him he gave me herpes. I just don't know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. I can't eat, I can't sleep. All I can do is think about how I have herpes. I am so disgusted with myself. I don't feel sexy anymore. I just feel nasty. I wanna feel normal again. I just need someone who knows what I'm going through to guide me and support me and help me get through this! Thanks for taking the time to read this.

[kaybee]

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way...we've all been there. I found out months ago and I'm only 19 as well so a lot of the same fears went through my mind. First off, you are beautiful and smart and the exact same person you were before this diagnosis. There is tons of information on this forum about how to disclose to new partners and I think you can even Skype personally with Adrial to get help! It's important to remember that a man rejecting you over herpes says a lot more about them than having herpes says about you. It's a simple extremely common virus that is sometimes inconvient but something you'll honestly forget about with time. The transmission rates are surprisingly low if protection such as a condom and or suppressive therapy is used (check out the disclosure fact sheet here http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout ) Also, many many women give birth with herpes!! there's no chance of passing the virus on through natural birth if you are not having an out break (and you'll be on suppressive meds!) also if you are having an outbreak when you're supposed to give birth you can get a c section! While it's scary and hard to adjust at first all you have is a virus, it's the same as cold sores but in a different location! the faster you realize this the closer you will be to finding a loving relationship built on trust and having the family you always wanted The best advice I can give you as someone who was in your exact same position is to learn all you can about hsv2 from trustworthy cites such as this one and truely think about your self worth. Do you truely believe you're worth less than a non life threatening occasionally pimple down there? No? Good then neither will any man that is lucky enough to have you one day. A little bit of knowledge and compassion go a long way. I'm sending tons of love and support your way Hun >:D< oh and as for telling your giver, regardless of if he believes you or twists the situation you should atleast consider telling him so that he can be tested in order to protect other women he sleeps with in the future so this doesn't happen again to someone else..it's something to think about

[prettylady_92]

Thanks Kaybee! Your support and words of encouragement really are helping me!

[Here4help]

Hi,

First of all. I totally understand what you are going through. I am only 21 too. I think I got mine from my current boyfriend, even though I had my outbreak first. It is a tough thing to get through your first outbreak, believe me you will make it through. I am only in my second outbreak now and you can seriously tell a difference . The first is the worst, but IT GETS BETTER.:)

My advice to you is buy a journal and write in it everything you feel, physically and emotionally. When you get it out on paper you'll feel so much better. That's one of the first things I did when I had my first outbreak.

As far as relationships, it's going to be ok . You'll have a support system here when you're ready. But in order to be ready I think you need to focus on yourself. You have to love you before anyone else loves you. :) You will find that person out there who isn't going to care the slightest bit about this small skin condition.

You'll feel like yourself again soon, persist and you'll be fine :)

Best of luck

 

[dilemmagirl]

Having H doesn't make you less of a person. It doesn't make you less lovable. It should not be a reason for people not to respect you. It is a virus. When I first got mine 2 years ago, I had the same things running through my mind. But I talked to my mom, who is very supporting, and she told me that it doesn't and should not change anything about you and how you and other people should see you. My doctor said the same thing. Sometimes, I still get sad (especially if it's the time of the month), but I think of what it really is. I recently realized that it is nothing but a virus. Just like the flu, colds, chicken pox, and all the other viruses in the world. Come to think of it, it is easier to give a cold to someone (just be sneezing) than to give H out. Kaybee is correct in saying that someone who won't or can't accept you for having H tells more about them and not you. My closest friends know that I have H and they don't really care. They are still my friends. We don't even talk about it. My bestfriend even forgot that I have it. She says to take the meds when I get an OB. Surround yourself with people who will love and accept what happened..it will make the world a better place to live in :) hugs to you prettylady_92 >:D<