I need help having sex with my partner :(

[Brownly]

I need help! I'm a 30 yr old female newly self diagnosed HSV2 carrier. I got my first OB at 29 after having unprotected sex with co worker who had no signs or symptoms. When confronted he apologized and acted like he didn't know he was a silent carrier. I stayed with him out of shame and not wanting to disclose to future partners of my embarrassing situation. Well after getting over my initial shock of it all, we dated for 8 months and ended it.  Ive been dealing with this for a year now. I've had 2 blood tests both came back negative but I'm 1000% certain, now that I've gotten past being in denial, realize I have HSV2.  I've had every symptom that's commonly known such as swollen genital glands, break outs during menstrual, fever, blisters, the whole 9 yards that I've never had before in my life! I'm not on any meds and prefer not to since my OB aren't severe or so frequent. I've only had OB around my genital and anal regions. Recently I got a fever blister on my arm that totally took me by surprise.. I wash my hands more since that has happened. Well.. I disclosed to my ex who im currently back dating again after I stopped seeing the guy who gave me HSV2. Fortunately he excepted my condition and we've been together ever since. Only thing is he doesn't have HSV1 or 2 and we haven't had any sexual contact since we got back together. He doesn't want catch it so I understand completely. I bought a sex toy he uses on me and we use condoms/dental dam when giving oral. I'm sexually frustrated and need some advice. How do we engage in sex. Are there any success stories with couples that has a partner who is hsv negative that still engages in sex without being on meds, just condoms and how frequently do you have sex with your partner? Has it been successful not transmitting the virus while being in a monogamous relationship? I'm ready to engage in sex with him while being careful not to transmit without being on suppressants.

[Gina99]

hey there, 

you do know its only a 2% chance of transmitting with condoms when you're not having an outbreak, but if you really wanna make it safer and make the viral shedding less frequent then i would suggest you do get the meds since it would make it only 1% (meds and condom). I believe it would really ease your mind. Ive only slept with one person who was H- , I take the meds and we had sex without a condom and he didnt get anything.

to put it into perspective, you have more chances of getting pregnant using a condom than him catching herpes with all these precautions. 

there is a wonderful section on this website that has all of these statistics and maybe if you showed it to him he would also be less stressed about it. 

I hope this helps!