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May have given boyfriend herpes... freaking out, panic attack, please help me cope.

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I have genital HSV-1 and I am on antivirals due to a second outbreak after almost 3 years, which was bizarre. As it is, I have a lot of anxiety/self-esteem issues. The 2nd outbreak happened when I first started dating my boyfriend (who was tested clean for everything before we started dating). When I told him he was accepting and kind and reassured me that he still wanted to be with me. We were using condoms for two months but then one drunk night we decided not to, probably based on the fact that I had never transmitted it to anyone even with unprotected sex and off antivirals (specifically, an ex for a year and a half, and another ex I was seeing for 6 months). And after that, we haven't used condoms a few times. (Really stupid, I know... but I figured the risk was low).

Difference is my boyfriend is uncircumsized which puts him at more of a risk. He told me he just got red, flakey skin on his penis that was itching. He thinks it is a yeast infection, but that's what I thought both times. I feel overwhelming guilt and sadness, I've been obsessing over transmitting it to him and now it seems to be a possibility. He doesn't have sores... yet.

How can I deal with this overwhelming guilt and panic?

P.S. Does anyone know if Effexor (an SNRI) can cause herpes outbreaks? I think starting Lexapro triggered my second one. Thanks.

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Hi monolaurinismyfriend

The good news is that the chances of a female passing GHSV-1 to a male partner genitally are pretty low
but of course there is always a chance it can happen.

When you say your bf was clean tested before you started dating, did he ask for Herpes tests? because if not
they would not of done them. I think he certainly needs to get another test done now anyway.

I know this is easier said than done but try not to worry so much as it may be nothing & worrying/stress
are no good for you.

I don't know about Effexor causing OB's but everyone is different, so one persons trigger can be so different to the next persons.

All the best, Good luck 🙂




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