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Just Found Out My Wife has H

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SO here goes my story....

I was when me and my wife met we were both recently divorced.  I cannot deny that I was no angel from the time my ex w and I divorced until I met my current wife, but I got tested after we started talking just in case one of my one night stands or partners had HSV or something else. 

WE have had an amazing marriage.  We were always open about everything, OR SO I THOUGHT, I guess it was just me.

Anyway, I never questioned anything she said, we have been through a lot since we got together and got married, both had custody disputes and we both won, we stuck together through it all and never had a cross

word no matter what we found out about each other's past and things they had done.

One month ago, I go looking in my wife's truck to get my debit card that I let her borrow and opened her purse and there is a bottle of Valtrex with 3 pills left with and prescription date of 25 days prior.

I asked her what it was she said "fever blisters" and denied having GHSV.  So about 2 weeks later I look again and there is a new bottle that is almost full.  I looked at the bottle that time and it was from her

OBGYN.  So at this point I'm furious.  I ask her again and she said yes she had a positive HSV test in 2014.  That is all she would say, no matter how many times I asked her.  She just kept lying about it. 

Finally I told her to get her medical records and sure enough in 2015 she had been diagnosed and prescribed Valtrex daily for suppression.  My issue is she didn't tell me, It wouldn't have changed my mind at all about her, she held off sex for a couple weeks when we started dating and I could feel there was something she wanted to say but didn't, because she said she feared rejection.  So I questioned her about her other BF's she had been with and she said she hadn't told any of them either.  She just didn't have an excuse other than she was too embarrassed to tell me.  After finally getting her to talk she said she had gotten it from her ex husband she though, so I called him, and sure enough he told her from day one that he had it.

I just went and got my test a week ago and haven't gotten the results back yet, but I am prepared either way for whatever they may be, although I haven't had an outbreak or any symptoms after almost daily unprotected sex for 2 years.  It has caused our relationship to go to absolute H3LL the last month, not because of the H but because she lied.  There is so much good info on here to deal with these situations, and look forward to being around on here.  She is even going to start getting on here, because she almost lost her marriage over being to embarrassed to tell me. 


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Ah this is the issue with HSV - it's tempting to go without disclosure, especially if you actively suppress it with the meds... but the stance on this forum is to always disclose. I live in the UK and most doctors and nurses told me I don't need to disclose - they won't even run tests for it unless you go to a private clinic or you have a blister to swab. I suppose the longer you leave it, the more difficult it becomes to address. So although I wouldn't condone your wife's decision to keep it secret, I can understand how it can happen. Sort've endearing that she said fever blisters out of shame - shows what an effect the stigma can have. HSV is blown way out of proportion, so I'm glad you've come to a forum to address it.

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I don't even know why I was posting this, other than to say it is nice to see others do disclose no matter what.  

If I had known from the beginning or after we had dated I would have had no issue whatsoever with it.  It is the fact that she hid it, and I understand to an extent, but its always better to know going in.  

If I have it now I will deal with it, just like she has.  But I learned a valuable lesson, if there is ever anyone else, there will be full disclosure.  

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