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Lost finding out I have herpes

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I found out i have herpes about 2 weeks ago. I am pretty sure who infected me and i feel betrayed. Granted i have made mistakes in my life but i dont know what i ever did to deserve this. I was married for 10 years ages 18-28 and once i became single i did have a few partners. some overlapping which i am not proud of but i cant change the past now. The person who i know gave this to me is denying it and i know deep down he is lying. in the midst of messing around with the liar i reconnected with a friend from highschool and we have hooked up a few times. both of us arent really ready for a relationship so we both were in agreeance about what our status was. well i am seeing him tomorrow and i am going to have to tell him what has happened to me. i know for a fact that i couldnt have transmitted it to him seeing as though the first time i had unprotected sex with the "liar" was about 4 days before i had my outbreak. my friend i hadnt been with for a week or so prior. i know he will wonder why i am not interested in sex with him and i will have to tell him. i dont want to scare him away because i am starting to have feelings for him. i never thought i would be in this position ever in my life and i dont know how to handle everything. how do you have that conversation?? and if by some chance in world he still wants anything to do with me sexually how can i keep him safe?? i honestly have noone to talk to about this because i am completely ashamed. the only people that know are my sister and the person i think gave it to me. i dont want him to look at me differently. and i dont want to lose him as a friend. sorry i have babbled on too much here but i dont know where else to turn.

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  • 2 weeks later...

if you are ashamed, he will be ashamed too. you have to accept this before someone else can accept it too. delivering the news a negative way will make him feel negative about. delivering it a positive way will make him feel negative about it. it could be the difference between: " i have ebola" and " i have a rash" haha i know that is extreme, but here's a real life example: i found out i had it while i was with my current bf. i took it really really hard. and when i told him, i sat on my bed looking up at him terrified to tell him..i said "the doctor called, and i have something. it's the worst one..." and then i burst into tears. and guess what...even though he was supportive he took it really hard too. he had to realize that because i had just found out and had maybe an hour to deal with it on my own before he came over..i was taking it harder than i should have. they need you to present it in a positive way, or at least not in a bad way!

also i just re-read your post and realized that you already met with him, how did it go?

we can all help you figure out ways to stay safe, or you can look it up or make a doctors appointment..

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well he was super supportive and said that he just needs to be careful now. he understands the way it happened and he will continue to talk to me. he is still interested in having a relationship with me but he doesnt understand how we can be safe and protect him. i know not to have sex while having an outbreak or when i feel symptoms coming back. but he was more worried about oral sex. am i safe to perform oral on him without a condom? he doesnt know if i can transfer it that way. btw i have hsv2 no oral sores at all. and can he perform those acts on me as long as im not having any symptoms. im also taking the acyclovir daily. its hard to find good info on all of this. im finally becoming ok with everything. i was lied to and i think that is what i am having the most difficulty with.

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