How do I cope

[StrengthOfWolves]

I guess it’s more of a realization that everyday I feel more and more alone and scared. Scared mostly because I’m scared of how my family and friends will look at me differently and alone because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. But I guess I’m more alone than scared. I feel alone because I have no one to talk to because I’m scared people will look at me differently and I feel like that is the double edged sword in the situation. I try to be myself, however I was before I found out, but I’m not really sure who that person was anymore.

I cry most nights because I don’t know what to do. The saddest part is, I think I got it from my current boyfriend. Unfortunately, he hasn’t gotten the test yet to verify that information even though I’ve asked him to multiply times. He just goes off of the information that has been given so far.

I honestly think he refuses to get the test because he doesn’t want to question whether or not I cheated (which I didn’t, for anyone who wants to know), but because I don’t think he would know how to deal with it is it turned out he didn’t have the virus. I honestly feel the same way. My test revealed that I had both forms of the virus, HSV 1 contracted a long time ago due to the high amounts of IgG antibodies in my blood. While HSV 2 is recent and I don’t have the antibodies for that strand of the virus. 

I have been with my boyfriend now for a title over a year so it would only make sense that I contracted the virus for HSV 2 from him. However, if it shows that he doesn’t have the virus, I could have contracted it from a previous partner.

Unfortunately, until he gets the blood work done, we will never know. So I wonder, has anyone else had a similar situation where they found out they had the virus and a significant other doesn’t want to get the test done and just says you got it from them?

Also how is it in social situations? I have had a lot of experience with people using the phrase “at least you don’t have herpes” multiple times and honestly as many times as I tell myself it’s going to be okay, whenever someone says that I die a little inside and I wanna just crawl into a hole. So if there is anyone who had any advise for suggestions on how to make social situations any easier or if you just want to share an experience, please let me know!

[Jemjem]

Hi I can understand the feeling of being alone but to put in perspective youre very lucky to have a partner it’s probably very likely he has it and didn’t know. A lot of us on this site including myself don’t have any partner in this and that makes the feeling of being alone tenfold. My giver said he didn’t know and then when I tried to make it work he completely stopped talking to me and ended up saying he feels too guilty he can’t even look at me. He reappaeared months later and had the balls to ask if I wanted to do something casual when I told him no and then opened up about how I was really struggling and had been in emergency because of this darn thing he ignored my messages! 

Despite not having a partner I can say I have opened up to family and friends about it as I feel it helps with the acceptance and healing. They have been nothing but supportive and treat me no differently. So I do recommend this to you if youre feeling alone you may find others in the same situation as you. And once you open up you can talk freely about it, I really think bottling it up only makes things worse. Also therapy! It’s crazy how much a third parties perspective who has no relationship with you (ie friend family) can help! They put it so simply and you can really hash every single little thing out plus more. There is also the people here on this website who are all in the same boat, I find it much more therapeutic of the person is in the same boat as people who don’t have it don’t really understand the mental stress it can cause. Also don’t think so far ahead think about one step at a time, first step may be telling your best friend or going to therapy whatever it is don’t be so much pressure on yourself to have to do something about it. There is nothing you can do about the actual virus but there is a whole lot you can do to love yourself despite it! Anyway you will get there I promise, I hope you feel better soon ❤️

[StrengthOfWolves]

8 hours ago, Jemjem said:

Hi I can understand the feeling of being alone but to put in perspective youre very lucky to have a partner it’s probably very likely he has it and didn’t know. A lot of us on this site including myself don’t have any partner in this and that makes the feeling of being alone tenfold. My giver said he didn’t know and then when I tried to make it work he completely stopped talking to me and ended up saying he feels too guilty he can’t even look at me. He reappaeared months later and had the balls to ask if I wanted to do something casual when I told him no and then opened up about how I was really struggling and had been in emergency because of this darn thing he ignored my messages! 

Despite not having a partner I can say I have opened up to family and friends about it as I feel it helps with the acceptance and healing. They have been nothing but supportive and treat me no differently. So I do recommend this to you if youre feeling alone you may find others in the same situation as you. And once you open up you can talk freely about it, I really think bottling it up only makes things worse. Also therapy! It’s crazy how much a third parties perspective who has no relationship with you (ie friend family) can help! They put it so simply and you can really hash every single little thing out plus more. There is also the people here on this website who are all in the same boat, I find it much more therapeutic of the person is in the same boat as people who don’t have it don’t really understand the mental stress it can cause. Also don’t think so far ahead think about one step at a time, first step may be telling your best friend or going to therapy whatever it is don’t be so much pressure on yourself to have to do something about it. There is nothing you can do about the actual virus but there is a whole lot you can do to love yourself despite it! Anyway you will get there I promise, I hope you feel better soon ❤️

Thank you very much for the kind words of inspiration! I try my best to stay positive but it just gets to me sometimes I suppose.