I can’t belive I disclosed

[anniemilly]

This will be kinda long but bear with me. I recently disclosed to 2 guys I’ve been texting. One I actually dated off and on for years and he moved about 6 hours away. 2 we’ve been texting for literally months and just never met up.

i told guy one and he took it hard, but he told me it’s something that is a big deal but we can work through it , he wants me to come see him soon and has been texting and face timing me daily. He told me he is so happy I shared it with him and was hurt I contracted it after we last had sex , but said since we aren’t together he’s not really mad, he has been there for me and talking to me daily. 

Guy 2 was different he was shocked and kept asking me what am I really telling him. I came out and said it’s HSV1 gentially and he said wow okay are you on meds? Can you still have sex? I explained yes and yes and he said okay and thanked me for telling him and didn’t text me for 2 days. I told him if he needed time is fine and if he didn’t want to talk to me anymore I get it. He’s been texting me, he still wants to date and wants to try things with me. We’re going out this weekend. He said he had to look things up about it and still doesn’t completely get it but he will ask me questions when he has them. We talk every day. 

I was seriously sick about disclosing to the point I thought I couldn’t do it. I was literally planning on never disclosing and continuing to date ... but my heart wouldn’t let me. I got on herpes dating sites so I wouldn’t have to disclose and found they just want to hook up or they were no where near me. I feel so much better after disclosing , even if it doesn’t work out the fact I told someone makes me feel so much better ! I thought they would be disgusted with me but I was my own worst enemy in this case. That being said I disclosed to men who are educated and mature enough to know about herpes. I don’t know if I can disclose again if both of them don’t work out but I’m just feeling happy right now they weren’t mean about it. 

 

 

[Sunshine75]

3 hours ago, anniemilly said:

I was seriously sick about disclosing to the point I thought I couldn’t do it. I was literally planning on never disclosing and continuing to date ... but my heart wouldn’t let me. I got on herpes dating sites so I wouldn’t have to disclose and found they just want to hook up or they were no where near me. I feel so much better after disclosing , even if it doesn’t work out the fact I told someone makes me feel so much better ! I thought they would be disgusted with me but I was my own worst enemy in this case. That being said I disclosed to men who are educated and mature enough to know about herpes. I don’t know if I can disclose again if both of them don’t work out but I’m just feeling happy right now they weren’t mean about it. 

It’s so hard to. Build up the courage to disclose, but so glad you had these two positive responses early on. That should give you confidence going forward. You CAN do it and the right guy(s) will be there for the right reasons!

[Kells]

I have only disclosed to two people (friends)- one has it too. I have casually been seeing a guy (guy 1) for over 2yrs and he keeps texting to hookup again (I see 2 guys and got genital HSV1 from the other guy, guy 2 who has been around 1.5yrs). I keep making excuses because I am too scared to tell guy 1 I have this now. I like both guys - guy 1 is just casual hookup,  guy 2 is a bit more, we do dates, sleepovers and spend more time together - but neither is my boyfriend. Neither of us want serious commitments. I just think guy 1 will disappear if I tell him. Your post is helping me see maybe he won't, but if he does then who needs him right?? 😢😢