Jump to content
  • Want to be a part of a supportive community? Join the H Opp community for free.

    Welcome to the Herpes Opportunity Support Forum! We are a supportive and positive group to help you discover and live your Opportunity. Together, we can shed the shame and embrace vulnerability and true connection. Because who you are is more important than what you have. Get your free e-book and handouts here: https://www.herpesopportunity.com/lp/ebook

Is a more casual sex life still doable?

Recommended Posts

So I've been dealing with the reality of my situation for a while, and it's depressing how its made my entire love life just nonexistent. I haven't dated or had sex in months now. Almost half a year. I've always been responsible and never reckless with my encounters being an avid member of the kink community, but I still, unfortunately, came in contact with HSV 2 through a mishap even with protection. Just my luck I guess. 

And the frustration is indeed affecting me more and more. I know it sounds bad considering most of us probably caught this through casual sex encounters, and I'm not looking to be shamed or judged, but I've always been a pretty sexual person. It's been way too long for comfort. 

But I'm not the type of person that would refuse to disclose. That's wrong because I'm pretty sure this is what happened to me with someone I got to know and thought I could trust. I'm still aware the rejection for this type of stuff is higher than if it's with someone who I'd hypothetically be dating and is more emotionally invested, but I don't date for real very often and I really don't want my sex life to continue to be so barren. 

I've been nervous to talk about this because I get how some people would view this kind of post. Society can have a lot of weird hangups on things like sexuality and the people who embrace it. We're supposed to be ashamed of admitting that we enjoy sex and indulge in it often. Like we're degenerate whores and since we actually caught an STI, it would just reinforce this kind of judgment on us. It's exhausting. 

So the title speaks for itself. I've been actually putting myself out there again after actively avoiding connection because I felt so goddamn terrible about myself and the prospects have risen. If it comes to it I will obviously tell them. But is this kind of lifestyle still doable? Are some of you successful in this endeavor? Or do I just have to come to terms with the fact that my sex life will never be the same? I mean, it obviously will never be truly the same, but it feels like what was once a big aspect of my life is now going to be hopeless and I shouldn't attempt to even try.

This sites motto is "it's not a dealbreaker". But let's get real, is it really one for this? 

  • Like 1
Link to comment


I hear you loud and clear. I have all of these feelings as well. Since being diagnosed I feel like a part of my freedom has been ripped away. I’ve also ALWAYS been so cautious with my encounters, just happened to have an unfortunate situation land me with this life sentence of a virus. 

I was diagnosed just over a month ago, actually... a month exactly to the day. And am terrified of letting anyone near me yet. 

I miss being a sexual person. I know a month doesn’t seem like much, but up until a week ago I was scared to even masturbate for fear of it causing an outbreak. 


Is that a thing?? I love vibrators, but fear that it will stimulate the nerves so much that I’ll get an outbreak as my initial one had sores around my clitoris. (Brutal) 


anyhow, you’re not alone. 

Hopefully we can find out how to maintain our sexual prowess amid all of this herpes bullshit. 


Much love. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Create New...