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My herpes story & have you passed herpes to a partner?


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Hi

I'm a 19 year old male with hsv-2. I was diagnosed a three months ago after having my primary outbreak. I have only had sex with two people and so i was devastated when I received the news. I always tried to be careful, and still caught it even after using protection. The girl i was with said she had been checked out for everything at first. she then broke down crying when i confronted her about it and said she couldn't bring herself to tell me. That stung.

 

I am now on suppressive therapy with acyclovir and i plan on staying on it until a therapeutic vaccine is created (hopefully within my lifetime haha). however, I'm not Going to waste some of the best years of my life worrying about a skin rash. Since being diagnosed, I have become somewhat obsessed with knowing all I can about this virus. I have been lurking in this forum for a while now and Adrial has been a huge inspiration to me as he seems to be one of the few males who posts in forums and is so open about this thing. Your whole outlook has influenced me deeply and i aspire to be able to reach out to others just as you have reached out to me. so kudos to you Adrial.

 

I feel like most guys, especially at my age tend to live in denial about these types of things. Anyways, I disclosed to a girl I really like the other night and it went well. She has accepted me for it and we'lI have to see where this thing goes. while disclosing, i approached this condition for what it is, a mild skin rash. If you approach it with fear, the person you are disclosing to may feel sorry for you, but they are hardly going to want to take the risk with you if you make them think that herpes is the end of the world. (Thats my two cents anyway). I can't believe the stigma that surrounds this condition and and i can see how people get so depressed and down about it.

 

I'm not sure where this relationship is going with this girl and I think it maybe moving in the direction of casual sex. Nonetheless, I really like this girl and I can't imagine passing this to someone else. The main question I have for anyone in this forum is: have you ever passed herpes on to someone else while using condoms and being on suppressive therapy? I have read many studies and watched the herpeslife q and a with dr. leone and I understand that statistically, the chances are really low. I would just like some first hand assurance that these statistics are accurate.

Thanks in advance,

Collegemale

 

P.s. Sorry for this long and disorganised post. I just had to get all of this off of my chest.

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Hey Collegemale!

 

Thanks for the kind words, bro! I'd love to have another male on these forums to help spread the positive message. I'm glad you're here and I'm so glad you're inspired. Feels really good to hear that.

 

And yes, the statistics are accurate. And think about it: Even if you find someone who has passed herpes to someone else even with a double layer of protection (condom, suppressive therapy), in that case, the reality of it isn't a 2.5% chance, it ended up being 100% that herpes was passed in that one instance. See how looking for specific examples skews the whole concept of statistics? Look at the %s this way: If you use condoms and are on suppressive therapy with this woman, there is a 2.5% chance that she will 100% get herpes and a 97.5% chance that she will 0% get herpes. :) It's only a case-by-case basis.

 

I personally ended up passing herpes to a woman I was in relationship with when I first got herpes and didn't know much about how to protect her. She accepted the risks, but ended up getting herpes from me. Now looking back on why that happened, I just wasn't that aware of my own body and what sensations meant that the virus was starting to come to the surface (prodrome symptoms). We both decided not to use condoms, but I was on suppressive therapy. On the other extreme, my most recent relationship of 3 years (we broke up about a year ago), I was on suppressive therapy and we didn't use condoms and she never got herpes. I've only passed herpes to one woman, and that was the first relationship after getting herpes. Knowledge and self-awareness is the best form of protection as far as I'm concerned.

 

And for everyone else reading this wondering about where these %s are coming from, check out these handouts I created that has all these details on them:

http://bit.ly/h-opp-diagnosis-handout

http://bit.ly/h-opp-disclosure-handout

 

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Thanks alot man, your response means alot. The situation you described is what I'm worried will happen to me. I've only had herpes for three months and I have yet to have my second outbreak. My primary outbreak was really mild and was hardly noticeable. Il be wary of prodrome though and try to recognise them as best I can. One more question: does shedding occur where you've never broken out? Or is it only in the general area of where the rash was? I know it's possible to have a breakout in other places, but has that ever happened to you?

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As far as prodrome goes, just assume that an itchy/tender sensation around the area where your outbreak(s) occur will probably signal that the virus is acting up. And about viral shedding, yes, you can safely assume that the shedding will be concentrated around the area where you usually get herpes outbreaks. You don't tend to be infectious in other areas. Herpes uses your nerve ganglia to travel from the base of your spine (where the virus hibernates in between outbreaks) to get to the surface of your skin. Once the virus finds one pathway, it tends to keep traveling down that pathway (the path of least resistance), although sometimes herpes outbreaks can move around a bit, but that's rare.

 

Here are related blog articles:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-prodrome-symptoms

http://herpeslife.com/what-is-herpes-asymptomatic-viral-shedding/

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