Trying2Accept

Oh no! I hope not! Please try not to be so hard on yourself, anyone can get this, and there’s so much misinformation about it. Literally millions of people have herpes! Do you know if you have type 1 or type 2? If you got it from oral, it is most likely type 1. If you think you caught this recently, you can get a blood test 3 months from now (that’s how long it takes for your body to produce antibodies which will show up in the test) and you can ask them to test you for both types. If you’ve had this for longer than 3 months, go ahead and get the test now, since the two types are a bit different, it would be helpful to know.

YES

Wow. Ok, I hope some others will add their own two cents, but there are a few possibilities. It’s possible that you do not have herpes. Maybe it could be a different sti- it would be a good idea to test for all other sti’s to make sure. It’s also possible that it’s nothing more than maybe a yeast infection plus a shaving bump or something along those lines. Or it’s possible that they just didn’t get enough material from the swab test to yield a proper result. A blood test in 3 months for hsv1 and hsv2 will be a way to know for sure. In the meantime, let your boyfriend know what’s going on, don’t have sex until everything feels back to normal, and safe sex is a good idea until you can figure out what’s going on.

Hi. Sorry you are going through this. Since it is not showing up in your blood now, it means you just caught it. If you test again in 3 months, it will be positive (if you have it). I am surprised though that they didn’t try to do a swab test. Your boyfriend needs to get tested as well! And you need to rest for both types, 1 and 2. If your boyfriend has had it for a while, he may not have passed the virus to you until recently- that’s why it’s not showing up on the tests. You don’t automatically catch herpes from someone just because they have it, the virus has to be shedding, it may not have been shedding all those moths you were together. Also, if he has ever had a cold sore, it could be type 1 if he gave you oral. A cold sore does not have to be present for this to occur! Ask if he’s ever had a cold sore. Either way, this does not mean he has been cheating. Either way, I wouldn’t have sex until all of the itching and discharge is gone, as that may mean the virus is still active. In any case, hope you feel better soon! Although it may seem like it, this really isn’t the end of the world. You will be ok.

Lifegoesonn, I know you feel you need to know who gave it to you to get a sense of closure, and I get that, but knowing can really suck, too! When I had my first ob, it was plainly obvious who I got it from, and when. And for me- I will tell you that it would have been easier for me if I hadn’t been sure who I’d gotten it from. It’s hard having such awful, negative feelings about someone. Really hard. When I was free of symptoms for such a long period of time, it was easier for me to feel forgiveness towards him, but then my second ob arrived, which I’d describe as anything but mild. And I found myself right back where I’d started, all that horrible anger came rushing back. All for something that was done unintentionally by someone who occasionally got cold sores. Also, I find knowing hard because I find myself thinking about the day I got it, I remember it in detail and it haunts me! I almost stayed home by myself that day. I had a weird gut feeling I should just stay home, but I didn’t listen to it. So of course I blame myself for that, too. Why didn’t I just stay home? So for those reasons, I honestly wish I didn’t know when or where I got it. It would just be a mystery. As for disclosing, I agree with the others. If anyone asks how you got it/who you got it from, you can always say you really don’t want to talk about that. Nobody needs to know that you aren’t sure when and how you got it.

Everyone is different, although I think most people have fewer and less severe ob’s after having it for a while. And for most, the first ob is the worst. I have hsv1 and I’m currently going through a really bad and never ending outbreak. It’s only my second ob, though, my first was 4 years ago and I had zero symptoms between then and the onset of my current ob. I think it also depends on if you decide to take daily antivirals, from what I understand they should reduce the frequency and severity of future outbreaks.

Sorry to be the one to tell you this- but that figure comes from autopsies! Many people who didn’t know they had it test positive when their autopsy is done. Also, the percentage of people who have it and are unaware is higher- That 80/20 statistic is actually flipped- it’s 20% know, and 80% have it and don’t know. Most people don’t know due no no symptoms or mild symptoms. And yeah, don’t beat yourself up about not using a condom, you could have still gotten it with one. A prospective partner is less likely to get h from you than from someone who doesn’t know they have it. And “The One” will be an understanding person who can see past your hsv status

Sorry you are going through all this. I think it most likely sounds like it’s from a recent exposure because of the severity of symptoms. However, blood tests will help clear up the timeline! If you got a positive diagnosis from a swab test, go and get a blood test done. Blood tests will not come out positive until 3 months after being exposed and contracting hsv, so if you get a blood test now and is negative, then you know it’s recent. Same goes for the guy you stated seeing- if he got a blood test and is registering as negative now, he needs to get tested again in 3 months, after he’s had time to build up antibodies. And not to worry, you will be able to date again, I promise you!

Hi! Are you on antivirals? Hair loss and thinning are listed as side effects for acyclovir and valacyclovir. If you are losing a significant amount of hair, it should probably be discontinued. Definitely talk to your doctor! I’ve only taken them episodically, so I don’t have any long term, first-hand experience with them. Hope that helps.

Well, unfortunately it seems there are plenty of doctors etc with a general lack of knowledge about hsv. Surprising they did not give a swab test! If you’ve had it for a while without symptoms- and the first symptoms are just showing up now (which can happen) then you would have tested positive, so at least you can rule that out, if you have no antibodies, it was definitely from something recent. It’s good that you have someone to go through this with, sounds like you can help each other through it. The stigma is ridiculous, but it sounds like you’ve got that figured out already! I think there would be less of a stigma if more people realized how common it is.

Hi! Sorry you are going through this! It sounds like you got a blood test? If it’s from a recent exposure, it won’t show up in blood tests. You can do another blood test in 3 months- that’s when you have enough antibodies for it to show up in your blood. In the meantime, try to get those spots swabbed and they can do a culture and tell you what it is. Best of luck, and hope you both feel better soon!

You are an asymptomatic carrier, how were you supposed to know? Once the dust settles and he realizes this, maybe he will come around.

Hi! I’m also type 1, oral and genital. I’m by no means an expert but have spent a lot of time googling. He most likely has type 1, but it’s disappointing that his doctor couldn’t have just humored him and given him the test. According to most info available online, an already established oral hsv infection should protect him from getting it genitally, and yours should protect you from getting it orally. However- I would not trust that 100%! Maybe others will chime in and say trust it completely, but I wouldn’t. Anyway, that being said, the head of the penis is not his only vulnerable area! Shaft, scrotum, all vulnerable to both types. Depending on exactly where you get your ob’s also could play a part in where he is exposed. For example, if your ob’s are on your vulva, perinnium, or rectum, scrotum etc will likely come into contact with that. But really, the fact that he already has type 1 orally, using condoms, and abstaining if you have any feelings of an oncoming ob, the chances of him getting it are slim to none! I understand he doesn’t want to catch this, bu the whole waiting until he gets another cold sore to get tested and have sex, that would be too much for me.

Hi! I’m new here, too. Hsv1 oral and genital. Don’t forget there’s lots of misinformation out there. For oral hsv, antvirals are not the protocol! Not unless her cold sores are constant. For genital hsv1, daily suppressive therapy isn’t usually the protocol either! And, well, if she only has it orally, then the only way you would get it from her genitally is from receiving oral. Unfortunately, most of the adult population has hsv1 (really!) and is capable of spreading it to an uninflected partner’s genitals. So most people will present some risk to you, not just her! If you’re worried about catching it genitally, don’t receive oral, use a barrier method during oral, or just refrain from receiving oral if she’s having any symptoms whatsoever. Not everyone always recognizes their prodome symptoms, though, and that’s what landed me here. If you’ve researched, then you know the rates for asymptomatic shedding. And that if you catch it from her orally, now, it should give you some protection from getting it genitally in the future. I’m sure it isn’t easy trying to figure this out. Nobody wants to wait ito have sex anymore, what’s wrong with waiting? Getting to know each other slowly might be worth considering. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.