Ishmael
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Posts posted by Ishmael
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On 7/11/2019 at 12:58 AM, Natalia1 said:
I been recently diagnosed and did not think much of it . Met a guy , had a brain fog and had sex with him . the only thing is that he tricked me into thinking he woukd wear a condom , while he took it off in the last minute . After sex , I told him it's dangerous not to use protection. he said he doesn't care ,since he can not get hard with a condom . Besides that we spend a lot of time together ( him worshiping me , we walk , talk , eat , watch movies , share things . ) during that time of mostly enjoying each other company . When it was time to have sex again I disclosed . So he dumped me almost immidiatelly . What hurts is that we live in the same appt building and he completelly ignores him . When he was around me couple of times he act like i have no value . I don't get why he can not at least treasure the moments that we has becides sex and remain friendly . I though it meant something
He took the condom off after telling you he would wear one? In Germany, that is considered rape, which I agree with. This guys is a piece of shit. That said, you MUST disclose to partners before sex.
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On 7/20/2019 at 3:45 PM, Tk2019 said:
The person who gave it to me kept getting a negative blood test and telling me he didn't give it to me. It had to be him. I started breaking out a few days after we had sex, had not been with anyone else in months, and tested negative for antibodies as well. There's a possibility my blood test was wrong I suppose. I just don't trust them at all. But I do not believe I had it before him because any time I try to stop or decrease my antivirals I break out.
There's nothing here that indicates that it had to be him. You can get your first outbreak years after getting it and that outbreak can be triggered by sex, including with a negative partner.
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There's a not tiny chance of getting a false negative with an IGG blood test. I think it's somewhere in the ballpark of about 8%, but it's been a while since I looked at the actual stats. I'd get tested again. If that's also negative, then consult with a doctor about a Western Blot.
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On 6/29/2019 at 12:31 AM, Shortcake said:
So, I may have given my hsv2 to my new boyfriend. This is the first time I have dated in 3 years. I told him before we had sex that I had it, and he said he had no problem with it, and that his ex wife had it. You can imagine how relieved I was to hear that. He wanted to have sex with me, with no condom. I told him I thought it was a bad idea and I was worried about him getting it from me. He still stated he didn't care. But now he's coming down with the classic symptoms...he was just tested today. So we will find out soon. He says he's not upset and he knew the risks, but I feel terrible. I'm going to feel absolutely awful if I have given this to him. And I still feel like if he does actually have it, he won't want to see me anymore. I don't know what to do...
I understand that our reactions to these types of things aren't always rational, but stand back and take a look at what you're saying. You told your BF beforehand, he said he knew he might get it and was okay with it, and even encouraged risky sex. Now it looks like he might have it and he's still okay with it. And if he does end up having it... he's not going to want to be with you anymore? That makes zero sense. None. It sounds like the issue is not your BF, at all, but your difficulty dealing with the insecurities herpes can make us feel about our bodies and relationships. Don't let that muck up your relationship, because this guy seems pretty chill. Instead, try to follow his lead and if you can't, try talking to a counselor.
Do you like this guy? Then trust what he says and don't project your anxieties onto his motivations. That's a disservice to you both. Also,, not for nothing, a lot of people here would kill for a partner like that!-
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On 6/23/2019 at 5:38 PM, tiredandlonely said:
The Western Blot looks for all antibodies/proteins associated with HSV-2, not just IgG.
The IgG test can miss HSV-2 if your IgG levels are low, but since a Western Blot checks everything, it's less likely to miss an infection.
Western Blot is over 99% accurate for HSV-2. IgG is about 92% accurate.
17 years is a long time and it is possible that the results were filed incorrectly/not stored properly; especially with the switch to electronic medical records over that time period. Likely all records were scanned in, and they might have missed this. I would be really skeptical that the test wasn't performed at all because you paid for it and your doctor reported a result to you.
IgG misses about 8% of HSV-2 cases. It's possible that your body just doesn't produce enough IgG antibodies to be detectable on the test. If you're in this 8% of people who don't test positive on IgG, it wouldn't matter how many tests you have; your body isn't producing those antibodies so they won't be detected.
I'm really sorry you're in this situation because it must be so frustrating and confusing. I think you have a choice to make: you can believe the negative IgG test, which is 92% accurate, or you can repeat the Western Blot through a more reliable healthcare provider.
If I were in your position, I'd probably just go ahead and get the Western Blot again because I would want to know. I think it's a waste of time to continue with the IgG testing. If the WB is negative, you can move forward knowing you don't have HSV-2 and that your doctor 17 years ago made a mistake.
However, you can also believe the negative IgG test, with 92% certainty. I don't think anyone would fault you for this.
It's better than 92% certainty because they took the test three times, so it's 92% on each test. The chances of getting three false negatives in a row is very small.
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On 6/3/2019 at 1:08 PM, Tone12 said:
Thank you for that clarification, they say antibodies show up quicker on those that don't have hsv1 for example. I have hsv1 sinse childhood and am at a loss of what to expect. Some say it slows seroconversion some say it dont. I'm sure not passed 6 months but still all the what iffs kind of gets to ya. Thank you once again.
Even if you have HSV 1 your HSV 2 antibodies would be showing between 12 and 16 weeks. If they aren't, then you likely have a compromised immune system due to something like HIV. You need to calm down and approach this situation a bit more rationally. You might also consider seeking therapy for health anxiety.
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Taking many months to show is an abnormality. You got a Western Blot, which is as definitive a blood test you can get. If it was negative you should forward thinking you are negative. It sounds like you might have some health anxiety issues. That's cool, so do I.
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It sounds herpes is going to have an serious upside in your life. Your closest friends were the kind of people who would ostracize you and talk behind your back if you got something like this. Now that you know this, you can start cultivating genuine friendships with good people that will enrich your life. Years from now, looking back, I wouldn't be surprised becomes a net positive for you.
Also, sorry, but your friends are human debris.
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On 2/25/2019 at 12:34 PM, forgivenessandpeace said:
I had a really bad outbreak when I contracted this virus as well. I was super angry and bitter at the ass who infected me. Then I started to take responsibility for my bad choice: I knew he wasn't trustworthy and I went forward anyway.
God didn't make me get involved with him.
I was careless with my sexual health and now I have HSV2.
Fortunately, after 6+ years, God brought me a man who is completely into me and also is the best lover I've ever had. I disclosed my status long before we got naked and now I'm so grateful for my life, even if it does include fucking herpes.
How do you decide when it is God's actions or yours (or that of someone else) that are responsible? You say that God wasn't responsible for your herpes, but that you were. He didn't make you get involved with your giver. But then, when you managed to meet someone else and he was accepting of you, it's not you or your partner that did this, but God bringing him to you. How does that work in the one case and not the other?
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I'm curious for believers who had their faith shaken by herpes: was your faith not shaken by the fact that the same God allows for things to happen like children starving to death or dying of cancer?
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I haven't read this whole thread, but you need to calm down. You have a responsibility to your partner to disclose before engaging in sexual activity that could infect them. That's it. He wasn't at risk, so whatever. Disclose before sex, but don't beat yourself up over making out or giving someone a blowjob. Dude should be extremely grateful, TBH.
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On 1/20/2019 at 9:12 PM, blurneworder said:
I’m not diagnosed with HSV, but have many of the symptoms.
My forehead and behind my ear break out constantly with whiteheads
You need to stop doing this, both for you and for the other people that you are going to freak out by doing this. Have you had the Western Blot yet?
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On 1/28/2019 at 1:46 AM, UnluckyMan said:
It’s laughable when one person complains of these things and blames it all on herpes even when he’s testing negative, but what if I told you my penis entered an HSV2 positive vagina for less than 5 seconds, condom broke, and over the next 6 months I would develop almost the exact same symptoms as him?
Suddenly, it’s not so laughable anymore.
What blurne’s situation screams to someone who is experiencing very similar symptoms after being directly exposed to HSV2, only to see negative blood test after negative blood test, is that you may not understand herpes as well as you think you do, and that perhaps this virus may in fact just be capable of being all time, next level everywhere type shit with some extremely unbelievable stealth power.
Naw.
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As for your larger question, people can be together for years without transmitting the virus and that's without using condoms or anything else.
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On 1/15/2019 at 3:31 PM, Lostatsea said:
The nurse who saw me said (or my understanding was) that you can’t catch genital herpes from someone just through skin to skin contact with blisters. That the penis would still need to be unprotected in the vagina to get the virus. Does this sound correct?
No, this nurse is completely wrong.
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3 hours ago, Rob1980 said:
Told a man that I had a GREAT connection with that I Herpes last night. It went terrible. I had alot to drink and cried my eyeballs out. He was nice about it, and said he talked in great lengths with onw of his female friends that dated someone with H. He said that we do have a great connection bit he doesnt want a sex life where he has to " follow rules" in a long term relationship. He even said that it may be selfish of him but thats how he feels. I am completely devastated. This is my first rejection. I did it all wrong amd let alcohol ams emotions get the best me. Has anyone ever had anyone change their mind??
Thank you for listening
Getting drunk and then crying about it is 100% not the right tactic here my friend. I'm not saying that to lecture you, but I want to be real with you about how that comes across. It makes it look like herpes is something that is messing you up and that you're not ready to deal with it or be in a relationship with someone. Whether or not that's true, that's how it's going to look to the person you are disclosing to. I feel like you already know this, and that you'll take a different approach in the future.
There is a very good chance, however, that this guy is just closed off to the idea of dating someone with herpes. Sometimes that's all there is to it. That's not on you and there is nothing you can do about that. For your next disclosure, try to be clam and confident. All you can do is be honest with someone and hope that they respect that.-
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1 hour ago, IcanOvercome said:
Well I told him. He was cool with it & told me it doesn’t change how he feels. He told me I need to relax. Lol
His only question was can I still have kids.
So my first disclosure was a success!
Yay! And I hope you told him that yes, you can still totally have kids (if that's what you want)!
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2 hours ago, IcanOvercome said:
For me, it has been a little over a year since diagnosis.
I haven’t yet had a reason to disclose either. I’ve always been scared of that idea too, but I’ve just changed my thinking.
Using it to my advantage. If I tell him and he sticks around, then that’s a good sign to me & makes me look forward to growing with him. If he doesn’t accept it, then that saves me to trouble & time of working towards a relationship with somebody that doesn’t deserve me.
Very glad to hear this is your mindset going into this. This is a very healthy way to think about it. Please keep us updated whenever you feel ready and good luck!
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On 1/13/2019 at 3:17 PM, MissGuided said:
My iGG results at 16 weeks post are still negative. Is it finally safe to say I don't have HSV2? Or should I continue to keep testing? My results have remained the same every two weeks since 4 weeks after the exposure. When would you feel you could move on from this? Every time I see any sort of red area down below, I wonder if my labs are all wrong... I have a rash on my hand, which I think is just eczema from over hand washing now, and that gets me stressed. I am not who I once was, any more, regardless if I can conclude these results negative or not. In a weird way, I can say minus the full on hypochondriac that I've become, which sucks, I have taken a break mostly from dating, minus kissing here and there, haven't had sex in over 4 months (which surprisingly is a good feeling) and have become more aware that I have oral hsv1 and now understand things like, don't stick my fingers in my mouth and poke at them because that's what those canker sores I get are, and they're not just from the foods I ate. I tell every person I have started to consider dating, before we kiss, that I could have mouth sores at some point, and feel better about understanding this all. But at the end of the day, negative HSV2 results... can I move on after 16 weeks or should I still be worried? Can a red spot down below finally just be a red spot, or ingrown hair, and not cause concern for full on panic and a doctors visit??
Sorry to break it to you, but you don't have herpes. 😥
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Just now, IcanOvercome said:
Debating now if I’m going to speak it or let them read it.
If they read it then I can give them some space in the other room.
But then that doesn’t seem very confident.
I’m just going to feel it out and see what seems right in the moment
Read it like disclose by text? I would do it verbally and then give them the info to read and make yourself available if they have questions. There is a good hand out on this website. Also, keep in mind that they might need some processing time and some alone time before figuring this out. That said, you know you and you know this person better than anyone here, so advice is just that: advice.
Are you dealing with HSV 1 or 2?
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You can do it! Remember to remain confident and assertive! Also, if they need time, give it to them and give them the information you have so they can inform themselves. Tell us how it goes!
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On 1/12/2019 at 7:39 PM, kentucky85 said:
Hang in there...I’ve been hsv positive for 8 years, hpv for 5. It will get better and you are not a disgusting person. They shouldn’t act that way, unfortunately people are very cruel sometimes.
HPV for 5? HPV doesn't stay in your system forever like HSV. It usually clears in 2 years. How are you getting tested?
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On 1/10/2019 at 3:57 PM, blurneworder said:
I assure you this is not being created in my head. How can I create my own short term memory loss, constant headaches, confusion and hearing loss?
The same way I do and the same way everyone else who does this does this. Also, did you actually get your hearing tested? Because when I did, no actual hearing loss.
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I think I just lost a friend.
in General herpes discussion
Posted
Your friend sounds pretty wack. You might be better off. Think of H as a filter for that kind of thing.