Ishmael
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Posts posted by Ishmael
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No way would he have a sore the next day. Like, not physically possible.
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22 minutes ago, Downfall said:
I believe I contracted it in April at least I know who gave it to me,first OB around early August till today I changed my diet no gluten no garginin therapy am not sure about that i better wait and see so fat i get few blisters from waist down but on penis there are always peeling cracking blisters itching i always say something isn’t right i know my body I don’t get sick for this long just want to not feel my lower body anymore because this is destructing me and I don’t want to suffer from this for 2 years till i get back to normal,always have a sensitive skin used to suffer from acne my whole life now herpes wow this turned me to a different person when i accidentally meet an old friend they tell me you look like shit what’s up (^-^)
Right. So I really think you should consider talking to a therapist if this is affecting your mental health, which it seems like it is.
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2 hours ago, alllgood said:
I actually had symptoms of what I thought was a UTI and possible BV within 48 hours, along with mild flu symptoms, and it ended up being my primary OB when I started getting lesions a day or two after that.
Was your transmission a one off or from someone that you had sex with more than the one time? Studies have shown that the incubation timeline of the virus is at least 48 hours, and the literature seems very firm on this. So the question becomes are you a statistical anomaly or did you experience what are very commonplace symptoms from something else that happened to segue with your primary outbreak and could have helped exacerbate it. Or possibly you contracted herpes earlier and the sex simply helped trigger an outbreak? Even if you did experience prodome in the first 48 hours, which seems possible I guess, the OP is talking about onset in the first 24. That would be radically atypical, not just a bit fast/early. Like how would the virus even get to the nerve in the base of his spine and then back again to start triggering prodome in a single day? That would be wild. That said, I'm not healthcare professional or an expert, just someone who reads about this.
Also, if I were him, I'd listen to my healthcare professional and not people, like me, on an internet forum. I'd also get tested and practice safe sex with my wife until I could get tested 12 weeks after my last exposure, but that's a wise move regardless of the symptoms given that he's had sex with other people of late. -
Hey man, thanks for sharing. It's really important that people come here and share these types of stories with people that are struggling. One thing that you mention that I think is really important is being proactive. You mentioned going to the gym, quitting smoking, and generally working on you for a while while you came to terms with it. I think that is great and very valuable advice.
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8 hours ago, Downfall said:
The worst experience in my life totally devastating fiscally and mentally am suffering for almost 5 months now bad HSV strain messed me up let alone declosing to a potential future partner isn’t acceptable to me I don’t want to put her in this situation if only there is zero chance to transmit it then it would be easier but no medicine works
You're still kind of new, like a year in or so, right? I think you'll find it gets better, but one thing you might want to seriously consider is therapy. It might really help with the mental aspects.
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You might say that you'd like to give him some time to think about it, and then send the info along as per Jessica08's post to help him mull it over. Also, a good idea when giving the talk is not to make it seem like a big deal, because it doesn't have to be. There's a really great thread on this forum here:
While I'm ambivalent about doing it over text, one thing that I do think is key is not presenting it like herpes is a living nightmare or that you're inviting him to suffer through something with you. You'll find most people don't know much about herpes and will follow your emotional que. If you're calm, they will be calm. If you are very upset, they will similarly become anxious.
Lastly, encourage them to do some of their own research before they make any decisions. I really think it sounds like this guy might come around, but if he doesn't, a lot of other guys will. Let us know how it goes. -
Getting symptoms in the first 48 hours isn't just rare, it's unheard of. Nothing about what you are posting here indicates herpes and it's more likely you have some hypochondria mixed with guilt/shame. The best way to avoid herpes is to stay in a committed relationship with a monogamous partner when you're both negative.
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3 hours ago, Iwillbeok said:
@sweetlove884 @Ishmael thank you guys for your comments. Right now I’m telling people the story of the break up and they’re all saying “get back on the saddle, you’ll meet someone quickly” and I just whisper to myself “but i have H ... who’s gonna want me?” I KNOW, that is silly talk, but it’s like the diagnosis just happened all over again. I’m doing the self love thing hard right now. Therapist, gym, spa, church, shopping.... what ever makes me feel good. I just wish I had live people I could talk to. I need to find an in person support group l, so I can see real people. I know I WILL be ok (like my user name) but right now it’s pity party of 1....
It's okay to go through the pity party stage of a break up. It's normal and even healthy, as long as you maintain some perspective, which it sounds like you're doing.
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5 hours ago, sweetlove884 said:
I've experimented a bit on regular dating apps. I posted a thread here about my experience. My method was to disclose quickly after matching. That way I wasn't emotionally invested in the outcome.
Bottom line--about 1/6 of my matches hung around. Some simply disappeared, but the remainder were all sweet and understanding. So it was nothing to fear.
Your mileage may very, but I think a more effective tactic might be to get to know someone a bit first and go on a couple dates. That way you get a sense of who it is worth disclosing to and then they have a better sense of who you are and if they are willing to take a risk. Ultimately, do what makes you feel best, but that's my 2 cents.
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If it was starting before you touched him, then no, that's not because you gave him HSV1. I'd definitely avoid kissing him again anytime soon though even if you don't have an outbreak.
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A lot of people, especially people who are newly diagnosed, get roped into thinking that their only options involve dating someone that also has this. The pool did get smaller in the sense that some people won't see past your H and respect/love you for who you are. But really, did you want to be with those people anyway? Think of H as a filter that helps weed out jerks. The fact is, millions of people with H are dating millions of people without H. That's not something to make you feel better; that's a hard fact about this condition and how common it is. What becomes difficult is disclosing, but there are a LOT of resources that can help guide you through that process, including here at this website. Yes, it does mean having an uncomfortable conversation and yes very well could involve getting rejected. But they aren't rejecting you, they are scared of something that they don't fully understand. If you want some helpful links, just let me know.
Ask yourself what it is that makes you attractive to other people, both physically and in terms of your personality. Try to understand that all of none of that goes away because of H. If millions and millions of other people with H can find love and happiness, what makes you the exception? It's a bit like jumping into a lake. but once you get things going again you'll be fine.-
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Maybe get a referral to a second gyno. It sounds like the help you need is from a medical professional and the people you are currently speaking to are just throwing the same solution at you with no results.
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On 12/24/2018 at 6:15 PM, blurneworder said:
I’ve had the same problems and continue to have them and more.
Any and all tests come back negative for me.
That's because you don't have herpes.
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On 12/8/2018 at 2:08 AM, Anonymous88 said:
If I am dating someone and I havent suffered an outbreak for 7 months then why make it a problem when its not?
Because presumably you care enough about that person to be honest with them and let them make their own choices about their health and sex life. But you'd rather let someone risk getting herpes than have an uncomfortable conversation. Cool.
Also, you haven't had an outbreak in 7 months. Great. But you know that most people that get herpes get it from a partner who isn't having an outbreak, right? Or is reading up on the condition and how it's spread also too much to ask of you?
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On 12/8/2018 at 2:06 AM, Anonymous88 said:
I spoke to the uk professional helpline and she said why would you need to disclose. We carry sooo many incurable diseases every day are you going to sit there and tell a person ok I have had chicken pox in my younger days which may turn into shingles which you may catch from me, Or if someone suffered with cold sores when they were younger do you see them going round with cling film in their lips everytime they kiss someone. Its bloody ridiculous and this is why there is such a stigma about it because of unhelpful scary information all over the internet. Do you see dating with shingles..no!
I know to not have sex on an outbreak as easy as I know not to rub an area when I have shingles on to someone else..simple as that. You are not hiding a secret there is just no need to be bringing this up.
If your from the us then its different ways for you but in the uk everyone is a risk that you sleep with as they don't test for it simple as that. So it is more of a risk to sleep with someone who doesn't know they have it then to sleep with someone who does and knows the signs to look out for.
Excuse it however you want. I find it reprehensible and I feel sorry for the people you are lyng to.
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On 12/5/2018 at 8:06 PM, Michgirl73 said:
I’m sorry.. I’m so scared to tell someone potentially I want to date. I’m in fear I’m gna be alone forever.😢
All the things that draw people to you are still there. And millions of people have this condition and still find love and happiness. There's absolutely no reason you can't be one of them.
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On 12/6/2018 at 6:46 AM, Anonymous88 said:
I'm from the UK and they don't test people for herpes even when you ask for a full std check up. Professionals told me I don't have to tell anyone and especially as I am on suppressive therapy and we use condoms then there is no harm as I know I am doing everything I possibly can to protect someone, as I know obviously not to have sex with an outbreak and I can disclose if down the line if we decide to have unprotected sex.
If you waited until after you already had sex with someone to disclose then their response should be to break up with you. I know mine would be. That's plainly immoral and irresponsible.
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It is extremely unlikely. While you can get HSV-2 on your face, it accounts for something like 1% of oral herpes. More than that, since you already have it on your genitals, after having it for about three months downstairs you will develop antibodies that will make it almost impossible to spread to your face.
If I were either of you, I'd suggest going to town on each other not worrying about it. I'd also suggest getting medical advice from medical health professionals and not this, or any other, internet forum.
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23 hours ago, Victory_in_Defeat said:
With herpes being a life sentence, nobody in their right mind would willingly accept herpes as part of their life.
I think that not only will you find that lots of people in their right mind have accepted it, but that those that have are mentally healthier than those that haven't.
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22 hours ago, Victory_in_Defeat said:
Herpes is not just a skin condition, it's a virus.
Warts are also the result of a virus. They are also a skin condition. Those are not mutually exclusive terms.
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On 11/18/2018 at 10:37 AM, newtothis22 said:
True but perhaps I already had herpes and the sex triggered an outbreak. Just unsure what else it could be other than the molluscum I previously had but the symptoms were completely different
A red rash with red spots under the testicles can be just about every kind of rash there is. There's not a lot to suggest herpes here. Get an IGG blood test to know.
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If the symptoms that are making you think it might be herpes appeared before 48 hours after exposure, it's not herpes. It takes at least two days (more commonly a week) for herpes symptoms to appear. None of this sounds like herpes to me.
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16 hours ago, Dreamer07 said:
I know I was assaulted and it makes my heart sink to even think about it, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to prove my case. & if I even try that means I would have to tell my story not from behind my keyboard and others will know my business. My boyfriend doesn’t even know. I told him he tried to kiss me & I moved but he doesn’t know the aggression behind it. I’ve considered talking to a counselor about it. I just feel stuck.
Ugh, that's so awful to hear that you're going through this. It's easy for me to say "What you should do is ABC." but ultimately you should do whatever you think is best. I feel like telling the authorities and letting this guy know that what he did is assault is a good idea. He seems to think he didn't do anything wrong, and that's terrifying. Also, I think the idea of talking to a counselor is a great idea.
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1 minute ago, blurneworder said:
It depends on which part of my body you are referring to.
The mouth tingling is not constant, but the small cuts/constant chapped are.
The red bumps on my groin are daily.
The feeling of confusion and fatigue comes and goes.
The nerve pain comes and goes.
The anal itching is almost constant.
The eye itching and pain has lasted about a week. I'm not sure if this another new symptom that will come and go.
Sores should not be constant. There should be weeks/months at a time where you don't have symptoms. I've never heard of an O lasting half a year. What have doctors told you you might have? Have you ever been prescribed anything?
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No sores, constant irritation for 2 months
in Herpes question(s)
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A lot of these don't scream herpes and having them all in conjunction and without a cycle of outbreaks and full abatement also doesn't. I mean you've got herpes on your groin, herpes on your penis, herpes on the outside of your mouth, herpes inside your mouth, herpes on your eyes, herpes on your butt, and herpes in your central nervous system. And the symptoms don't really come and go, there is always something happening. Like, you don't go a few weeks without any symptoms. That's some powerful herpes. Not only that, but this powerful herpes is undetectable by tests that detect herpes. Next level, all the time/everywhere herpes with stealth power.
What is does scream to me, and to at least a couple of the doctors that you've spoken with, is health anxiety, which I recognize because I also suffer from it. You sound like a guy with a rash, dry skin, canker sores and bad case of hypochondriasis.