No More Tears D

@tk2019 no I didn’t ask. I didn’t know that was even a thing... I’m sure if I search hard enough on here, I’d be able to find the answer to this question. But what would be considered a positive index value? When you say head cold, was that all he was experiencing? No symptoms downstairs? I just don’t know if an outbreak could just be flu like symptoms with no physical symptoms of an outbreak? Ugh. Same with my experience clearly. I’m scared to tell him. He doesn’t know. And I don’t even know about me either. So I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot if it’s nothing. Idk. Thanks for your help.

@100918 wow. I can’t even imagine how shocked you were... I didn’t know they didn’t test for it routinely either!! It’s so strange to me for situations exactly like yours. Wow. I wish my pity party only lasted that long. It’s taken over my life at the moment and I don’t even really know if I have it 😞 I’m 26 and feel like my life is over... as dramatic as that sounds. I’m scared for the future and really am having a hard time. Thank you for your positivity. It truly is life saving. I’m sure a lot of people on this forum feel like I do and having people like you to talk to really makes this easier.

@panda91 hi. You said he felt sick? What exactly were his symptoms pre blister? Thank you.

@sarahsfocus wow. No one should get aggravated with anyone in terms to their health... I’m sorry that harpooned. Knowing your status helps you mentally? I’m almost at the point where I feel ignorance is bliss but again, have that thought in the back of my head constantly. Just wish I knew what the right thing to do was. Thank you so much. I really do need a friend or someone I can talk to. No one knows about this or my concerns so it makes it really hard and it’s driving me absolutely insane. Thank you again for your words. They help a lot.

@100918 that’s amazing. If you’ve never had a symptom, why did you get tested if you don’t mind me asking. Since apparently doctors don’t like doing that. Well that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you! I truly hope you two end up together for the long run and like I said, it gives me hope. I’m too scared to get tested again because I just don’t want to know and have been living life like I don’t have it. But like I said, it’s been haunting me. The anxiety is literally killing me and I just don’t know what to do.

@sarahsfocus thank you. It’s like I almost don’t want to because I just don’t want to know... But I know that isn’t fair for myself or anyone else. I clearly cant get this out of my head already, so I could only imagine what actually finding out I really had it would do to me. Although, my gut is telling me I do 😥

@Tk2019 thank you! I was thinking that too. But I actually just talked to him and he’s getting sick again... I’m worried again, ugh. Idk what to do.

@Joe Joe I hope you're doing alright today.

@hope27 I hope you're doing okay today. My thoughts are with you ❤️

@100918 I absolutely love reading success stories. It gives me hope. I am so happy for you! How did you disclose? Were you scared? I feel like I'm at a loss. Long story short, I've had inconclusive answers from multiple physicians. I haven't retested as advised by my doctor because I've never had a physical symptom... I broke up with my ex last year, and have finally met someone who I really really like. But I can't help but have this anxiety hanging over my head.

@Joe Joe I am feeling the same way you are... hugs to you.

@Lovenhope my heart truly goes out to you. No one should ever go through what you did and I am so happy that you're safe. Having support, especially from those you love is more than important. It may not mean much, but I'm here for you too. I have questioned my spirituality through out this entire process. The thoughts "why me?" "what did I do to deserve this?" are among the many. I am not saying i'm a perfect person, but I know my heart, and I always wondered why bad things happen to good people.

Hi guys. After my ex and I broke up in January of last year, I was tested for both hsv 1&2 and came back positive for both hsv 1&2. A week later, I got a call back from my doctor who said I was actually only positive for hsv 1... confused, I asked my doctor if I should retest, and she said there was no need since I’ve had no symptoms. I took those same results to a different doctor and that doctor said it was in fact positive for both... again, confused. Like anyone else, I held on to the original negative diagnosis and have tried to live life like I don’t have it. A little over a year later, I finally met someone who I adore. This is obviously haunting me. I’ve never had an outbreak, only cold sores on my face. Should I retest? Or take the advice of almost every health care provider I’ve spoken with, and don’t test unless there’s something to be tested. I’m scared. Thank you.

@Lovenhope I completely agree with you. It’s very contradicting. I keep trying to tell myself that so many people have this and it’s so common and I won’t be alone forever but I can’t help but break into tears because I feel like I’m fooling myself. My entire body hurts, my heart has never felt so broken. But I’m here for you, too.

@hope27 thank you so much for that. I feel so angry, anxious and depressed. I can’t stop blaming myself for not taking care of my body. It’s eating me alive. I’m scared I’m going to be alone forever. But your support is more appreciated than you know. Thank you.

Hi. I’m a 26 F who is scared out of her mind. I have no one to talk to as no one knows about my situation. Not even family or close friends. The anxiety is unbearable and my thoughts are beginning to scare me. I’ve tried seeing therapists and talking to my doctors, but no one seems to understand. I’m more than sad and could truly use a virtual hug 😢 D

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t stop crying. I know hsv 2 isn’t a death sentence, but why does it feel like one? Back in 2014, I was 20, and was dating who I thought was the love of my life. After one year of dating, he told me I needed to get checked because at his physical exam, he tested positive for hsv 2. As you can imagine, I was terrified. Especially after sleeping with someone for over a year without protection. My results came back positive for both hsv 1&2. I was devastated. I got a call back from my doctor one week later and she said they misread the results and I was only positive for hsv 1. Confusing right? I made an appt to discuss it with her, and asked to retest and she told me there was no need. I took those same results to a different doctor, and that doctor told me they were in fact positive. So which is it? Obviously, I kept in my mind that my original doctor said it was negative, and stuck with that diagnosis. I continued to stay with my boyfriend and almost always used protection during sex. In Jan of 2018, we broke up. The idea of actually having hsv 2 has haunted me for years. I’ve had cold sores all my life, but that’s the only “symptom” of herpes I’ve ever had. My doctor told me there was no reason to retest unless I had a genital symptom, and to my knowledge, I never have. I get frequent cold sores, usually once a month, so my doctor gave me valtrex 500mg to take daily to help... so I’ve been taking it daily for about one year. This is when the extreme anxiety sets in. Since breaking up with my ex boyfriend, I haven’t had much sex. One time, and it was protected. However, recently, I had unprotected sex with a new guy. Long story short, he woke up with a fever and extremely sick about two days later. Keep in mind, I was previously sick two weeks prior to sleeping with him. I had bronchitis and a sinus infection and I was given a zpak. He however, was so sick, he actually ended up going to the hospital because his fever was so high and his tonsils were so inflamed. They told him it was strep. He was sick for about two weeks... and is finally starting to feel better. He hasn’t mentioned anything in regards to feeling unwell downstairs. Now, I can’t help but have that haunting thought. Was it really strep? Would physicians in a hospital treat something without testing for it first? If he tested positive for strep, it was just strep, right? Or do I indeed have hsv 2 and did he actually experience a primary outbreak? Would symptoms appear after the flu like symptoms go away? What is the transmission rate from a female to male, no symptoms, no condom, with daily valtrex? I am making myself sick reading all of the “what if’s” online. I obviously haven’t told him my concerns because I don’t even know what my status is. But I’m not going to lie, since I’ve been so insanely stressed, I actually don’t feel right downstairs myself bed this is the first time I can honestly say “wow, I don’t feel right.” Idk if I’m putting this in my head, or I was misinformed years ago. I have an appt with a new gyno to talk more about it. I guess what I need help with is, could it happen that quickly? This guilt is absolutely eating me alive. I don’t know what I would do if I knowingly gave him hsv. I need help. Thank you.