Juvia

Ok, cool. Good to know! I read up a lot on it, but, naturally, sometimes I misunderstand something. Some of the sites aren't fully credible, or what I am reading was written by a doctor and loose me. Thanks

Yeah, this forum has helped me realize the strength I had in me all along. I have a strong desire to help others, and when I get a place to help and get help, I see improvements in my demeanor quite quickly. I really like being here. I guess why it hurts so much, is that I do so much preventative care, and still it slipped out of me. But, such is life, nature will always find a way. Thank you for your response, it is nice to talk to people who understands without explanation. I do dislike very much how jokes about herpes is sprinkled throughout society and media. Pineapple Express, for example. It makes me feel alone and ashamed. But, I just have to remind myself not to let those emotions define me, and recognize them as just a passing thing. That I am not alone, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. I know better than those people who make jokes, I understand more and have more knowledge, and therefore I am more better off.

I have found that break ups have become harder since getting herpes, just because how hard it is to tell someone you come to care about such a painful thing. When a relationship ends, all of a sudden you realize that you will have to do it all over again. Don't let that keep you in a relationship that isn't working. I have had this for five years and have only been rejected. And, it hurts, but you will find out that telling people will bring out the best character in you and others. And, if someone cannot accept it, try to respect their decision as much as possible, as long as they are respectful of your feelings as well (it helps no one, especially yourself, if you harbor negative feelings), but don't let it bring you down. Some people will not handle it as well as others, and that is a observation on their character that you should make, but not a judgement. You are fearful of judgement yourself, so try not to pass judgement on others. By pointing fingers, it just hurts 10 times more when you get pointed at yourself. Whether you believe in destiny or not, not everything will go as planned, but everything will eventually work out for you. Even if it is not in the way you expected. Time will pass, and you will meet someone else. And, it may not get easier telling someone, but you will find better and better ways of handling it. Just look at it as a challenge to become a stronger, more self-aware person. Whenever something tough gets thrown in my way, I often times say to myself "challenge accepted" with a smile on my face. You can either handle things one of two ways, why not take it with a smile head on. Best of luck to you, dear.

Also, I know it is hard, but it is necessary to talk about what you have. Gain knowledge about it so you can provide that information for your potential partners. In my experience, it helps to put myself in their shoes. I present it to them as I would like it to be presented to me. Most of the time, others will not have any other understanding of it than was was briefly taught to them in health class. They need your help to understand what exactly having herpes means. The more facts and knowledge you can provide, the more comfortable they may be, at least, once again, in my experience. This shows to them that you have thought about what you have, have taken the time to research it because you truly care about helping yourself and others.

I have found that break ups have become harder since getting herpes, just because how hard it is to tell someone you come to care about such a painful thing. When a relationship ends, all of a sudden you realize that you will have to do it all over again. Don't let that keep you in a relationship that isn't working, please. You are so much better than that. Also, viral shedding can also spread the virus, not just when you have a breakout. This is extremely rare, but it is still a possibility. Don't let this upset you, knowledge and precaution are tools for you to help yourself and others. I have had this for five years and have only been rejected once. And, it hurt, but you will find out that telling people will bring out the best character in you and others. And, if someone cannot accept it, try to respect their decision as much as possible, as long as they are respectful of your feelings as well, but don't let it bring you down. Whether you believe in destiny or not, not everything will go as planned, but everything will eventually work out for you. Even if it is not in the way you expected. Time will pass, and you will meet someone else. And, it may not get easier telling someone, but you will find better and better ways of handling it. Just look at it as a challenge to become a stronger, more self-aware person. Whenever something tough gets thrown in my way, I often times say to myself "challenge accepted" with a smile on my face. You can either handle things one of two ways, why not take it with a smile head on. Best of luck to you, dear.

Also, it helps to pay attention to your body. Often there are signs that you are about to have an outbreak. Lymph nodes swelling. Small, concentrated spots down-under that tingle on and off. Flu like symptoms. I usually get really bad headaches and body aches. By paying attention to your body, you can help prevent others from contracting it just by precaution.

http://herpeslife.com/good-herpes-virus-bad-herpes-virus-the-truth-about-hsv1-hsv2/

HSV-1 sits behind the ear, which is why it's 'homesite' as the mouth. It is a moist area where it can thrive that is closest. HSV-2 sits at the base of the spine, closer to the genital area. It has less likeliness of shedding, simply because of location.

I have had the exact thing happen to me. I have type 1 genitally which I contracted orally. I have had it for about five years now, if you need any advice, or are just having a bad day, feel free to message me. The best of luck.

I also use acyclovir daily to help prevent shedding and outbreaks. I usually have about one breakout a year, but that has been prevented the last few years due to the daily use of medication. It is annoying having to take it so often, but I can get a bottle of about 100 for about 15 dollars (after the deductible has been made for the year). In a relationship, if you want to do everything you can to prevent spreading, I know you probably hear this quite a bit, but, use a condom as well as the medication (if you choose to daily medicate). It isn't guaranteed, but it is at least another means of protection. I also take Lysine daily. According to WebMD it has the possible effects of: "Reducing recurrences, severity, and healing time of cold sores (herpes simplex labialis). Lysine seems to be effective when taken by mouth and also when applied as a cream to the skin." Partners I have had in the past have also opted to take this vitamin daily to improve their body's natural immunity. "For years lysine has been used to bolster the body’s immune function, but recent studies have shown that lysine deficiency leads to immune deficiency. Simply put, if you are not getting enough lysine, you are far more likely to get sick more often." - www.swansonvitamins.com "One double-blind, placebo-controlled study followed 52 participants with a history of herpes flare-ups.11 While receiving 3 g of L-lysine every day for 6 months, the treatment group experienced an average of 2.4 fewer herpes flare-ups than the placebo group—a significant difference. The lysine group's flare-ups were also significantly less severe and healed faster. Another double-blind placebo-controlled crossover study on 41 subjects also found improvements in the frequency of attacks.12 Interestingly, this study found that 1,250 mg of lysine daily worked, but 624 mg did not. Other studies, including one that followed 65 individuals, found no benefit, but they used lower dosages of lysine.13,14" - www.health.cvs.com There are also other ways to naturally help your body fight the virus. Food to avoid, meditation (stress can cause your body's immunity to weaken). Just remember, the stronger your body is, the stronger your mindset is, not only will you feel better mentally and physically, but it can help your body keep the virus at bay. Hope that helps -Juvia

The text came right before I was about to go to bed. It was from a boyfriend I had from about a year ago, explaining to me that he had contracted the virus from me. I just stared at the text, my heart throbbing in my chest. It felt like I had just found out myself that I had it all over again. I felt the need to continually apologize and to help him at the same time. Tears brimming over, falling down my cheek, I went to my roommate, and explained to him about what just happened. I needed to talk to someone. And, all he could do was sit next to me and awkwardly pat me on the shoulder. That made it worse. Ever since I had gotten this virus, I’ve never had someone really understand what I was feeling. I felt alienated and disconnected. I told my ex, just like I tell each of my potential partners, early on. I cannot handle the pressure of keeping the information from them along with the stress of having to tell someone I am interested in that I have an STD. I have even once accidentally told someone I was once a man as I was trying to tell him that I had herpes. It actually worked out for me, because he thought me being a man was much worse. Anyway, I am getting off track. I want to help him get through this, but I have trouble myself dealing with it, even though I have had it for so long. He says he doesn't blame me, but he feels terrible about it still. He was debating telling me at all because he didn't want me to blame myself. So, here I am trying to help someone else, and I realize that I cannot because I still feel horrible about what I have. I cannot have sex without thinking about it, and it has made me quite celibate as the years have gone by. I know it is not a life threatening virus, but it still affects so many things in life. Casual sex is not an option anymore, which isn't that big of a problem for me, but seems to be a problem for him. And, that wonderful moment where you are about to have sex for the first time with someone you care about, that unplanned, spur-of-the-moment dance that two people experience is now 'tainted' by having to admit to someone that there is a risk to sharing that physical moment. I can't even daydream about having sex with someone, because even they are ruined by having to admit it to myself. I guess, ultimately, I just have such a negative outlook on it. I had always been awfully shy and didn’t have many relationships in high school, no friends, and certainly no boyfriends. I had a few when I was a senior. The first boyfriend took my virginity, the second showed me the pleasure of sex, but both relationships were short lived. I was right out of high school and in many ways, still a naive girl. My friend had a brother. I wasn’t particularly attracted to him, he was older, and I remember even thinking he was scary. I didn’t want anything to happen, but I didn’t know how to say ‘no’ either. I just closed my eyes and pretended I was somewhere else. In the end, I was just grateful he didn’t have sex with me, but he had kissed me in a very private area. I had heard about oral sex, but had particularly never thought about receiving it. About two weeks later I had an outbreak. It was painful and horrifying. I knew something was wrong, and I immediately went to the doctor and had a blood test done. I was at work when they called me. Standing in the little corner of the restaurant reserved for taking drive through orders. The sun was just setting, and it wasn’t quite cold yet. I took the call since business was slow, my voice low, my heart aching. I hung up and slumped against the ledge by the window. With my trembling fingers, I gently pushed them open and let the brisk breeze of the changing season wash over me. I just stood there staring at the soft yellow streaks, the splashes of pinks, the brilliance or oranges, the unmistakable beauty of nature, and I started to cry silently, withheld heavy sobs shaking my whole body. I still remember the thought I had that very moment, the thought that came after the realization that so much will be different. I thought looking at the sun set on the brink of autumn, “I have been rejected by nature, herself” This might sound odd, but I felt I always had a strong connection with nature, when I was a child I would wander deep into the woods behind my house. And, for the first time in my life, I felt like I wasn’t special after all, that nature had turned against me and left me alone. Ever since I could remember, I would daydream about the kind of love people say is only for the movies. I would daydream about adventures and all the possibilities the future held. And in one moment, I lost it all. Or so it felt like. All that hope and all those dreams that had always defined me turned dark. I wasn’t angry, but instead there was a endless sinking feeling in my chest, an emptiness with a blank stare. And, that emptiness, that fear of hope hasn’t left me since, in five long years. How can I help someone else through this, when I cannot even help myself? -Juvia