mindisblown

Hugs to you. I often get colds/sniffles as a prodrome too - so annoying. The one thing that 'helps' is knowing that it's linked to H I guess. I don't worry that it's going to turn into the flu, just my body's way of telling me to slow down and stop stressing. All well and good unless you're in the middle of a stressful situation, which sounds like you are. I guess you just need to be as kind to yourself as you can right now. Long baths, some chocolate, and heaps of virtual hugs from us x

"One day everything is wine and roses and the next it's blisters and prodomes." hahaha, I laughed so hard at this! It's sooooo true. Thanks for the advice guys, really appreciate it. WCSDancer2010, I'll take your advice on the meds, and scale it back to every other day from today (day 4 of pills) and see how I go. Since getting diagnosed in November, I have near constant nerve pain/twinges on a daily basis (no tingling, just painful stabbing nerve twinges), some lead to OB's, some don't. If I got a definite 'sign' or prodome that would result in a bump/sore, then I could detect these suckers before I notice the dots (and I check almost daily) and could probably catch the OB's faster. I can't wait until this is all under control, manageable and not impacting on my life so much.

I was diagnosed back in November. After the initial, horrific OB my body allowed me a month off, but now just as one OB finishes, another starts. The Dr prescribed 10 days of valacicilovir pills when I get an OB, and they do clear up them up, but when I finish the cycle, another OB appears. Each time I feel tired, achy, sore throat, cloudy head and completely drained of energy for the first few days - like I'm about to get the flu. I really like to exercise and stay fit. It's frustrating for me because exercising is tied to positive mental health, but whenever I get an OB and start to struggle with the mental side of things (shame/stigma etc), I'm physically unable to exercise. It's not just the first few days of aches and pains, but when the sores are open, its too uncomfortable to exercise. And... I'm worried about making the environment (down there) worse by getting hot and sweaty after a run or whatever. Does anyone have any advice on what could help? I don't really want to go on suppressive treatment because my body will never learn to deal with the virus... I also think one of my triggers is my boyfriend (also H+, he gave it to me). He works away, and whenever he comes back and we sleep together, I get another OB. Of course he's had like ONE tiny sore in his life and doesn't really experience OBs, so it's me who gets the joy of dealing with them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

I haven't had 'the talk' yet, but I came really close to disclosing... I was all ready geared up to have the dreaded 'talk' and noticed the EXACT THING you did... a couple of little warning spots - obviously from the stress. I decided against it that day, and I'm glad I did (as it turns out, he's not interested because I didn't put out... thanks H for helping me dodge a bullet on that one!), but I'm sure your talk will go well, and then when things have settled down 'down there', you'll be able to move forward with the physical side of things.

JJJsPurplePants - you're not alone honey, I know exactly how you feel. While logically you think "I shouldn't feel this way", the shame, shock and negativity is still there. But like everyone has said, especially WCSDancer2010, its how we manage it that counts. I'm sure you're going to do an amazing job with your presentation. Try to relax and realise at the end of the day.... just a skin condition. Thanks Victoriaxxx for your comments :-) This community is the best. I'd be lost without it right now.

HerryTheHerp, abc123 and WCSDancer2010, thanks for your reassuring words of kindness and humour. I'm soooooo grateful for this community. Friends and partners are great and supportive, but no one really 'gets' it unless you've been through it. So thanks for the support. xx

I was diagnosed in November and had an awful outbreak complete with a nasty bacterial infection and all the mental anguish that comes with accepting you've now got an STD. And I thought I processed it. Once the outbreak cleared up, and the shock passed, I thought, "you know, at the end of the day, its just a pesky skin condition, life goes on", and went back to living my life as usual. Fast forward to two days ago when I got another outbreak. ALL those horrid feelings of worthlessness, despair and depression have rushed back in. I just want to curl up and disappear. It's so hard to feel like this when you know that logically you shouldn't. I don't really feel like there is anyone I can talk to about it. I told a few people when I was diagnosed, and they were supportive, but its different with an outbreak, and with how I'm feeling now. I don't know how to process these feelings, when logically I know I shouldn't be feeling like this.

I am right there with you! Seriously - what do people use for this, that works?

Hey Adrial, I think I had those fissures you are talking about - well, I had the inital lumps, but when they opened they went to fissures as they never scabbed over, but have just slowly started to disappear. It's still very painful down there, and new areas are more sensitive now than they were before - its also hard to start peeing. Do you recommend going back to the Dr? She gave me some anti-viral medication to take if I have another outbreak - but would there be any point in taking this now? I was only diagnosed two weeks ago, and this is my first outbreak. I'm REALLY itchy in some areas too and have crazy tingling. It's a little overwhelming - I wish the physical stuff would just go away because its hard enough dealing with the mentals, let alone the ever changing physical side of things. Feeling like I'm sinking a bit.

Hugs brokencastle... I know its tough. I only just found out last Saturday about my first herpes outbreak, and it was with a new guy I've started dating, after just coming out of a 4 year relationship, so I'm right with you when you're talking about just being single and worried about how you'll be perceived in the future. I'm not sure what the answer is... I think once the physical signs are gone (I too seem to be having bad luck having just finished my meds and experiencing a lot of itching/pain but no spots?) we can concentrate on the mental side of things and starting to heal. I hope things get better for you xx

Thanks Adrial and Sab123. I'm so glad I found this group! Adrial - I'm from Australia, I have no idea what is tested for over here, but I'm seeing my Dr tonight so will make sure to clarify what is 'normally' tested for over here. Everything you said around the 'shame' being in my mind and of my power to control is correct. I just feel a long way from being in control of this. It's definitely the virus that keeps on giving too - each day I'm waking up feeling different physically and mentally about this. Sab123 - I know how you're feeling, and its easy to go down that rabbithole of 'I'm worthless', but ultimately we've just got to claw our way back out because the only ones who determine our worth are us. Difficult right now, but thankfully we've all got each other on here. Hope it starts to get easier for you (and me!) soon.

Hello! I've recently had my first OB and apart from reeling from the fact that I now have an incurable STD I'm left wondering how this is possible? I have recently started dating someone, who has sworn up and down that he had a blood test recently and came back negative for everything. As I was clear too, I figured there was no problem. You can imagine both of our suprise when I discovered that rash was actually H. Mentally I think I'm over the worst of the shock, I have a long way to go before I feel 'normal' again or can accept myself - at the moment I feel like my confidence is knocked and even though I know I shouldn't, I feel 'dirty'. Which is ridiculous in logic, but, its how I'm feeling... My "how is this possible" question is this - how, if he had a blood test that came back negative, can I have had an outbreak 7 days after sleeping with him? Prior to this guy, I slept with someone 4 months ago (protected sex) - I've read a lot that the virus can lay dormant for some time - it is possible that the guy from 4 months ago was the carrier and its lain dormant until now? I ask this because the guy I'm dating now is feeling all this guilt and shock about passing this on to me, and he's away for work and can't be tested for another few weeks.