iwanthope

I feel your situation and mine is pretty similar, I'm not afraid of the disease itself, but more about the rejection and the difficulty in finding a new relationship. Since I had the diagnose 1 year ago, I ended with dating, I haven't been with anyone after my ex girlfriend gave me herpes. I can tell I used to have a great sex life, and I felt really good with my masculinity, now, it's all the opposite, I wasn't looking for the love of my life, just having fun, but for me, life changed a lot. But I don't wanna talk about me, I wanted to say something kind of positive to you: maybe your problem is about how you disclose and make it look like something worst than it is, also, maybe you are disclosing too fast, before having more confidence with the other person, so you can talk and explain the situation. The probabilities of getting it in one protected sexual encounter with you not having an outbreak is very very low, so they should not be worried. Try to read some other topics around here and you will find that even some people have herpes and haven't gave herpes to their partners for years.

Even when he knows it has been a few years and nothing happened so far? I think, that he believes you got it lately cheating on him. Also, a person that leaves you alone by something like this, is not worth your sadness and grieve. It is going to be hard at first, but I wish you well and that you are going to find your hapiness.

What I've read is that the first outbreak for most people is the worst, also that stress leads to new outbreaks. So try to calm down, you have supporting parents and partner, that's a really good thing. Also, I am going to be positive here and say that HSV-1 is something that almost half of the population has in their mouths (which is kind of ambarrasing), you have it in a place where no one can see. Valacyclovir is a stronger medicine for herpes, but I don't think you need it right now, maybe if you are having more than 4 or 5 outbreaks in a year.

I think your situation doesn't sound like herpes symptoms, more likely you are having some other health issues, do you sleep well, walk, relax, workout and eat correctly? Have you been tested for HVS? I know you say it's not coincidence to start having those symptoms after being with your ex, but also, your anxiety and depression grew on those days when you started feeling too worried. After I had my first outbreak I also felt like everything was herpes. But actually most of those things were more related to anxiety, stress and depression (I'm still dealing with them). Consider going to a doctor and get a full check, also try to go to therapy, it also seems like you think too much about your illness, there are people with cancer, that live their lives to the fullest even when their live expentancy is really low.

Thanks for your answers, I just watched the video and you are right, but despite all being adults I think there is a stigma about it, even if someone tells me that they have a cold sore (something that people never say), I would rather not kiss that person than taking the risk to have it, and I have kissed more than 50 girls in my life, so it is almost sure that I have kissed someone that had HSV-1. And you know that one also can lead to genital herpes.

What about just sex? Not being with a person to build a relationship but just for fun? Do I have to say it to the person? If we know the odds to getting it are very low, using protection, taking medication, not having outbreaks for a while, do I still have to disclose to that person? I know it is ethically wrong, but even some doctors told me they don't see herpes as a big issue, you need to go and say to every sex partner.

You were having unprotected sex for over 3 years and nothing happened? What would change after knowing the diagnosis? It's almost the same right? Almost 80% of people are asymptomatic, maybe he has it long time ago. Maybe he is feeling that you were cheating on him and that is why you have this right now, but the virus can keep silent for years. Also herpes is not even a health issue, is mostly a psychological problem, that affects our self steem.

Thanks for your words, I know this is going to sound stupid, but mostly of all I miss sex, I used to have a great sex life, I don't feel like having a relationship or the love of my live is my biggest problem right now, but having fun, I wanted to have fun more, I was enjoying my sex life a lot. Now my close friends make fun of me because they think I am like a virgin or an idiot around girls, constantly my family are insisting on me to have a family, kids or at least a girlfriend, so I'm getting a lot of social pressure too. Meeting girls became really difficult, I don't use apps, and I don't have the personality to go to the streets and talk to strangers. The only way I had was meeting friends of my friends, but now that's not an option for me.

I feel your situation is similar as mine, but differently you already took a step ahead to talk to your partners about it. I think a lot of people know their condition and don't say anything to their sexual partners, but you have your ethics right and decided to be honest, despite you know you may get rejected, and let's be real, women get more dates than men so it is easier for them to reject you for even simpler things. On the other side I wanna ask you something, in my case, one of the biggest problems I have is that the girls I met lately, they always want to have sex right away, like in the first or second date, so I have to reject them, because obviously I don't feel ready to tell them, so how do you manage to don't get physical and avoid sex talks, and try to meet the person first?

I think telling your parents depends on how close you feel with them. In my case, I feel comfortable talking to my mother, because she is very supportive, but is a very different situation with my father. If you feel your parents are not going to be supportive, but instead they are going to judge you, I would prefer not to tell them.

Hello, I am a 34 years old male that had been diagnosed with HSV-2 since over a year ago. I am not having problems with the symptoms, had 3 episodes in a year, mostly I get 2 o 3 lesions and no pain, but otherwise my mental health had been deteriorating a lot since the diagnose (specially during an outbreak). It's been a year since the last time I had sex or any type of intimacy, I miss contact with girls, I miss girls, I miss feeling like a real man. Before having herpes I felt like it was already difficult to create a connection with a woman, now it feels like it is impossible, most women want to have sex before starting to love or connect with someone (or that's what I have experienced). I've had three specific oportunities of having something with a girl but not at a high level of connection that made me feel confident to tell her about my situation. These girls I met, mostly are friends of my friends, so I fear exposure and rejection. I have lost all of my self esteem, I cry almost everyday, I fear that I'm going to be alone forever. Sorry for being so selfish and come here to talk about myself not giving anything back, but I want some advise. It is not easy to talk to people about this. I have researched a lot of information about the disease, I know there are a lot of people with the same, but it seems nothing is helping me. I think it would help me to talk to people in the same situation as mine.