When my boyfriend and I first started dating and having sex, we used a condom. Then I started having symptoms of something I knew wasn't normal for me and after a couple weeks found out that I was h+. At the time, my boyfriend and I weren't sure who gave it to who. We are both in our 20's, have had sexual partners before, and heck we practiced safe sex with each other. Once my blood test came back, the doctor said they were able to tell that it was in fact a first outbreak because of the antibodies (or something, im not 100% sure on the factual aspect of this but from what i remember that is what they told me). After I told my boyfriend this, it was devastating in every way because at first, we weren't sure who had it first. The realization for him that he was the one that gave it to me was horrible and he broke down while I was staying with him, while I was taking the first cocktail of drugs for a first outbreak, including vicodin. This was march of 2012. We are still together today. There was, and still are, fleeting thoughts I have, about our relationship, if we would still be together without having h. But over time we've gotten to the point where we are able to talk about it, realize that this could have happened if I was a virgin when I met him, or vice versa. I could have easily given it to him and not known. It is a process. Every day I deal with the fact that I have this little skin rash and every day it gets a little easier to handle. But I have to remind myself that every day, my boyfriend has to realize he gave this to me and I can't imagine the guilt he feels. But hey we're working it out. We're now living together, planning a future, and I have to remember that relationships are hard enough on two people who are h-.
There are a few people in these forums who are h- and are in relationships with people who are h+ and just love them plain and simple. Great people are out there.