newthings2014

Just the thing I needed to hear as I prepare for my own "Talk" with someone new I've started seeing :D It's a great feeling when the person keeps their heart and mind open. Congrats and keep us posted!

OMG, Willow. I can relate to your last comment, lol. Recently switched to Trojan Ultra Ribbed Ecstasy (yellow box) and Success! Didn't have the loss of sensation like with Trojan Ultra Thin (which are super snug).

Could these tingly feelings you are having all over be related to your new workout? Maybe increasing blood flow to those areas or the muscles wondering what's up? Or it could be you're a bit stressed along with excited about moving things forward with the new guy. I am in my first post-diagnosis relationship as well and am always worried about passing it along. You can use a dental dam (may have to order online) or even non-microwaveable saran wrap to cover your bits during oral. I've heard the non-microwaveable is supposed to be better but have not had a lot of luck finding it in the stores. We've discussed this but haven't tried it yet. If you're okay with it... crotchless panties will cover some skin more so than a condom alone. He can even wear some and keep the dangly bits tucked inside :) Female condoms also cover a bit more of you on the outside so that's an option. I've also had to order these online. Dare I say doggie style might result in less of you touching him? (Isn't it weird talking about this stuff with strangers! But hey, we're all grown ups here, right?)

Yeah, STD's are still a joke to most people... until they have one! My friends joke about herpes, too. One pf them has the oral kind, I know because I have seen it with my own eyes. Question - have y'all ever revealed your status to your friends? I told one of my close girl friends and she was very encouraging and "no big deal" about it. It felt good to tell someone. I sometimes wonder if some of my friends have it too and it's just everyone's little secret.

Hey folks. For anyone out there who had an allergic reaction to Valtrex - have you ever tried again or tried any other meds? I take L-Lysine and use a topical antiseptic but have not retried the suppressant meds. Also - how long should an outbreak generally last? I had the typical groin/lymph node pain on Wed. afternoon and by the time I got home, found a sore. A few weeks ago I noticed what looked like a sore but then it was gone the next day. This one seems more persistent. I have a date Sunday! :) I am in my first post-diagnosis relationship and have fully disclosed everything to him. We've been super careful but I feel like I need to tell him the downstairs is off limits this weekend. Ugh.

That is probably the most frustrating part - the never knowing 100% if you're safe or not part. Along with the no cure part. I've purchased some of the FC2 condoms but haven't tried them yet. I do like that you get more coverage with them. I just need to monitor myself carefully for those tell tale signs (lymph node pain, little tingly spots).

Well, guess I should share my story here like so many others have done. In 2005 I had been married for 12 years. Everything was fine with the marriage, as far as I knew. We had our ups and downs but always came through okay. There was a lot of turmoil in my life at that time. My sister's husband had terminal cancer. My father had been diagnosed with Parkinson's. My mother had to have a number of risky surgeries. To say I was stressed was an understatement. I was also seeing a chiropractor for back pain, getting adjustments and deep tissue massages (I'll explain why I think this matters later). One Friday, I had a day off from work and had a chiro appt. that afternoon. The hubby was home from work so we enjoyed a little "afternoon delight" before I left for my appt. I went to the bathroom afterwards and it kinda stung. I didn't think much of it at that moment, given what had just happened. But it got worse, and by Sunday I thought I was gonna die. The pain was excruciating. I thought I had a bladder infection and called my GYN first thing Monday morning. They did a urine test but said there was no bladder infection or UTI. But it continued to worsen. Then the sores appeared. I thought it was from the urine causing irritation and called the doc back to go in again. This time they did a pelvic exam and she took samples of the sores. (That was fun! They sliced one off to test it. Talk about ouch) It wasn't long before she came back and told me. HERPES! Of course, I had begun to suspect it was an STD and I really really wanted it to be gonorrhea or chlamydia or something curable. I knew there was no cure for herpes. But, luck was not with me that day. I was hysterical, crying and shouting who knows what. Though I'm pretty sure "I'll kill him!!" was the first thing out of my mouth. My doctor spent a long time calming me down and telling me about the disease, how you can have it for years and never even know it. But for 12 years?? Possibly, she said, though she seemed a tad incredulous. Basically, she convinced me that it was possible that my husband could have had this all along, even before we were married. Some people never show any symptoms and aren't even aware they are infected. Also.. maybe I just wanted to believe that he wasn't a cheating bastard. I went from someone who was going to kick his ass to the curb to thinking "oh great, now he's gonna think I was cheating on HIM!" I decided to just confront things head on. I sat my husband down and told him what the diagnosis was. I looked him in the eye and told him I have never, ever been unfaithful. And then I asked him to tell me the truth, whatever that might be. If he had ever, even once, strayed, I asked him to tell me. He told me he had never cheated on me. I began my research and learned that stress can be a trigger. Also that, when dormant, the virus hides near the base of your spine. So I wondered if the stress combined with the spinal adjustments at the chiropractor had triggered one bad mama jamma of an outbreak. It was bad. I was in almost constant outbreak mode for months. Sores, painful urination, swollen lymph nodes, flu like symptoms. I thought it would never end. Finally, things began to abate and I would only break out about once a month, then less and less as time went by. Sadly, in 2012, I found out the extent of my husband's lies. He had cheated on me several times and ended up leaving me for another woman. Lovely. Thanks for the parting gift, honey! So, here I am single and free and trying to be happy. I recently met someone and things starting moving in the direction of us becoming intimate. And I had to deal with the emotional trauma of not only telling him that I had not been with anyone for almost two years (ack!) but that I had herpes. But I told him everything and he was understanding and sympathetic and.. still wanted to be with me! We are super careful about everything. Condoms every time, no exceptions! That he is willing to take this risk with me, for me, means so much. I want to protect him as much as possible. So. Wish me luck, if I may be so bold as to ask. It's great being here among you all and having a place to go for info and support and advice. Thank you for reading!

Don't know why they are not available in stores in the US but I, too, have ordered FC2 from Amazon. The only thing I didn't like was that they did not come in a box, just the packets wrapped in bubble wrap. Might try Walgreens,com next time. Haven't tried them yet. I am thinking I might need to practice, uh, "putting it on" before I try it with my partner.

Wait wait... you OB/GYN told you it wasn't super easy to pass? Because I have been super paranoid and uber careful. Condoms, crotchless panties, practically no skin touching at all, lol. I do not want to have to hear from the guy I'm see (or anyone) that I infected him. (did I just say crotchless panties out loud?)

Of course you still want sex! A friend of mine reminds me that a lot of people suffer our fate so chances are decent that the hot guy whispering amore in your ear may have it too. Win! (Unless he wasn't going to tell you, then he's a jerk) And I totally agree about the stigma thing. We're not lepers! Still... I'm not exactly advertising it. A whopping 3 people know - the one who gave it to me, my best friend, and the guy I'm with. And yes, he and I are just having sex. We are not "in love". And that's totally fine.

Hey folks. So glad I found this site, esp. reading all the "disclosure" stories. Long story short, I was infected by my now ex-husband (he cheated). I recently found myself having to have "the talk" with someone I had started seeing. And he didn't run for the hills so we proceeded, extremely carefully, from there. He researched the risks on his own as well as listening to things I could tell him about it. Things have been good, but I am getting really paranoid about the asymptomatic shedding issue. If there's no way of knowing something is going on down there, how much risk am I putting him at? We always use condoms and are really careful about hand washing and skin to skin contact. Still, I would just die if I ended up passing it on to him despite all these precautions. Has anyone here actually had a non-infected partner get infected by them? Recent testing indicated that he does not have anything so we already know he is clear. I only have genital herpes, not oral. I am allergic to acyclovir so am unable to take any of the suppressive meds. I do take L-Lysine daily and have been super diligent about keeping up with that. Anyone willing to share their experiences in similar situations? Thanks!

Hi all, I am glad to see there are some alternative treatments available. I had a terrible allergic reaction to Valtrex when I first started taking it and had to stop. I have been taking L Lysine and it seems to help when I keep up with it. I also use a topical antiseptic like Betadyne when I feel the first tingle of an outbreak. That helps to clear them up more quickly. If anyone else has had an allergic reaction to Valtrex. I'd be interested in hearing their experiences and if they were ever able to take it or one of the other suppressive meds.