Jenn2323

Awwww thanks ladies , I do feel like it's taking over my thoughts and I need to let up it was all feeling ok till I cried realllll hard last night for 4 hours and I woke up with a slight burning feeling down there , I don't know if it's just paranoia cause when I pee I'm fine and my 10 day regiment is up tomorrow but u called my doc for a refill , I want to be as careful as I can but I can't let this control my life , all I think about is the asymptomatic carriers that are fine and living life and I want to be one. Well I can only try my best to suppress right lol and thank you @rainy your the best girl and believe me drinking only water is getting pretty boring for me too lol and @orange your right I'm going to stop focusing on this and focus on being healthy enough to forget it all . @dancer you allways know what to say . I just pray I don't see this virus for a very long time after this lol thanks for all the support ladies sending love your way

I swear you all are awesome and inspiring in many ways !! Thank you @rainy and I'm glad to hear that your feeling better !!! So am I !! I'm dealing and healing !!! And @sparklepony. I can't wait for it to be nice out and wear some maxim dresses , like too excited. !!! And @decicedanddealing you are beautiful !!! We all are , excuse my language but. Fuck this virus !! I'm over it . I guess this is my lesson and as soon as I feel completely healed. , I'm not turning back . I've decided out of sight out of mind , well out of mind out of sight . Lol I'm glad it's not aids , I'm lucky I can still have children and I feel this has steered me down my career path into medicine . I want to start as a pharmacologist and work my way up to a microbiologist or even start as a high school biology teacher and work my way up . I want to help find us all a cure , and after finding out that hsv is a main contributor to alhiemerz and dementia , I want to help Atleast for all of us to not have to go thru that as well( I think herpes has done enough to us allready, the prick) anyways lady's I'm starting to see my sunshine after all this rain . Holding on to hope and sending love and blessings to yu all !!

Thank you @dancer your always know what to say . And I do know my mom will be okay , I just can't seem to get the words to flow . It's like they get caught in my throat. And I've taken a few days off work to get mentally stable . I am glad it was not aids and that I didn't get pregnant by my ex who has a girl pregnant now , I just wish I could get a do over . I know we all do . I am counting my blessings and praying for suppression . I'm changing my diet and cutting out all sugars and carbs , no soda . I've allways wanted to lose weight guess here's my chance to really stick to it . I hope to be as happy and open as you are and I guess this too comes with time . I'm looking forward to reading your inspirational posts , sending my prayers to you

If he had a cut on his face or lip and you don't have any symptoms is there still a chance ??? Or to give it to myself if I kiss him after ?? I don't want to feel like I have to wash or he has to wash everytime he touches me ? Does anyone know the stats on this ??

Exactly sometimes girls are cruel and my thoughts exactly . I tell my BFF everything. What ever I hear it goes to her and only her . It's horrible I know the gossip but it's just us , now I feel if I tell her she'll tell her mom and I love them both toooo much to have them look at me in disgust . I've dropped little hints about stds to see how she reacts and she was disgusted cause she thinks her cousin might have aids cause she is showing all the signs but we kno she has hpv so I said that was probably it and it's not that serious and if it was herpes that it is controllable and not that serious but she said she still didn't want to use her bathroom. It's ignorant yes but she has a low immune system and get sick reallllll easily . So I understand why and I told her it's only passed on thru skin to skin contact , she said yea but I wanna be safe . She still loves her cousin and I do too . We are all close , but I just don't want her to look at me like that , even tho I know she'll accept me in the end , it's just I can't help but feel like a leaper . Needless to say that you and everyone else on this forum have helped me more than god knows and is keeping me from suicidal thoughts , all the positivity on this site ( no pun intended ) lol keeps me going and I've taken a few days off work to mentally heal. And physically ( which in my case is about done even tho my symptoms was minor ) I feel pretty much the same , oh and I did my eyebrows today lol I'm usually soooo strict with them and for the past week in a half I let myself goooo to the point that my co worker noticed and asked what's wrong , I lied of course but she knows somthings up . Still it feels better to lie then to face reality right now and I'm okay with that I guess . I wish I would have appreciated the little things I took for granted my whole life before now , but I am learning that this is why some of us get h into our lives . To heal and to show us the little things . I guess this is my greatest lesson of all . Oh and I'm glad your in USA I'm from Massachusetts , far from you but that's ok , I hope to hear from you about what happend with your BFF , I pray all goes well in any decision yu make , I wouldn't blame you for waiting a little while , as young women we know how we are like you said . Ppl can be cruel and is be damned if inlet someone make me feel worse than I've allready made myself feel . But peace , love and hope sent to you rainy !!!! All the way from up north

All love guys

Hey fellow h buddies !!! Guys and girls are welcomed on this discussion . I just want to see if we can help each other more then our PC can. Let me start with my story . 3 months ago I started seeing 2 guys , an ex and a newbie . Hard to say who might have given who ( and with my symptoms maybe I've had it for a while unknowingly ) but anywhoo allot of sex. And lies between us all , we ended it . Well I did I felt used and abused and left without looking back till my obgyn a month later . I was getting a check up on my lady parts , all which looked good she said and I left feeling great . So a month goes by and I didn't hear from her but I wasn't worried cause typically if your clean she doesn't call just sends your stats in the mail. I brushed it off . So when I got my letter in the mail I was happy to have my clean bill of health but unfortunately It was a letter saying she couldn't get threw my cell and to call her for results . Well I almost died. So I called ASAP. To only hear that she was on a business trip and won't be back for 3 more days . What hell. So soon after my stomach was in knots for days . My ex constantly texted me about being pregnant cause supposedly he got another girl prego during our lil rekindling . (Again why I can't really blame anyone right now) we were all being fresh lol but still I felt swollen in my abdominal so I got a test and was fine . With all that going on maybe I triggered my ob. So the pain turned into what I thought was a uti and I was waiting for her to call me back to tell her to fill me a script for uti meds but when she called she said well everything is negative but hsv2 . I was devastated. I had no sores down there and I was confused and asked ok what do I do know. She said well I think your asymptomatic so if you feel any tingles refrain from sex but other than that your ok. That's it . She also said it just showed I was exposed but not showing symptoms so that's good . Well my life came crashing down . Am through all my depression that I've battled in medicated (unless you count cannabis) and all my struggles that I've turned into sunshine recently came crashing down . I just came back from vacation , the man of my dreams is in my life and I have hsv2 . 2 days later of extensive research from symptoms to wanna be cures to false positives , to what tests are good or bad , to all these forums everything . I called back asking for the name of my test and my titer . She told me it was herpesselect eia igg blood test and I tested a 5 . So it really dawned on me that it was true and there was no mistake , that night I started feeling symptoms . Tingles itchys . So I called for meds . After I started them I felt the rest of the symptoms weakness , body aches ( which I allways have anyways since I'm on my feet all day) swollen lymph nodes . Everything . A slight burn when I pee and tiny white bumps ( but I've had those for as long as I could remember they never showed up bad at my gyno exam so I assumed I was fine) and they don't hurt or itch , I popped one to see if it would turn into a scab but nope it looked like a little white stuff came out and that was it. A lil sore for a day but then nothing . I think I may have irritated myself down there for the constant looking and touching but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable Inside not on my vagina , no discharge really but in the beginning it looked like a yeast infection but that went away . It's been 8 days that I've been on the meds and a a little over a week that I am realizing the real ness of disease. Again my symptoms are mild and I pray to god everyday for that , I also take a multivitamin and vita c. It helped with my drowsiness . But I can't sleep thru the night. I wake up every 2 -3 hours with crazy dreams and in some of them it has to do with my h. Does this sound familiar to anyone ?????

Thank you @wcsdancer2010 I've been trolling this site and have read the best advice from you and thank you for your kind words. I am in a dark place right now but I see the light . I took a few days off work to sit and think . My first ob ( Atleast to my knowledge) haven't been bad . It happened 2 days after I found out (via blood test ) I started to feel tingles and a slight itch , so I called in a script for accylvacoir (however it's spelt ) and for the most part all I've experienced was uti symptoms , in the beginning , but after I started the meds (about 3 days in ) I got really tired and weak , body felt hot but my lady parts only felt a little swollen and tender . I do see tiny white bumps but they haven't popped or turned into anything and they don't look like what I've seen on the web . I know you have plenty if experience and I just want to know is this normal ???

Good luck sweetie, I think this will be my biggest disclosure. But I can't even admit it to myself right now . I hope all works out

Slowly I am trying to realize I am still the same person . It's just hard to not be able to be truthfull to my best friend . It's hard not to tell her . But I'm scared at how she might look at me . She'll love me still but I kno she'll be thinking about it as much as me . It's. Just a virus yes I kno that . I too can't help but think it is what I deserve for not taking sex seriously . But I was trying hard to get it right and now I guess this is just my wingman . Lol I'm still keeping it a secret for now . I kno I'll let my mom know soon , but my friends. ... Idk about them . @rainyday5249 my obsession.has me scrolling threw these forums frequently, so. Feel free to write me when ever . I hope your in the USA , I'd love to talk on the phone one day (not soon I'm not a creep lol)! Just saying , it seems like we are the Bon the same page at the same time. ILife's not over but it is changed , greatly .

Being * months*

Any time @rainyday5249 i pray everyday . That it will go dormant , that it won't ever bother me ( (since I've only ever Developed a slight rash/irritation) I pray it's a dream . But I can't help but only sleep for 3 hour intervals. I'm keeping you in my prayers rainy , I may not know your real name but I kno everything your going threw now all this pain . I just wish I had the courage to confront the guy who lied . But in due time right ? @herrytheherp your awesome and thank you , your kind words heal . And I think about them when I feel low. They are helping me deal with all this. && @decivedanddealing. Thank you for saying this . Be Info that your. Still a newbie as well is giving me hope . Hope that in 2 minors this will blow over. . Hope that I can maybe open up to a friend Orr my mom . As of right now they only ppl I be talked to are the amazing ppl on this forum . You all matter so much to me right now . I re read everything over. And soak it all in . I could never not disclose . I just don't kno how I'm going to . I just have to give it time I guess. Let it all heal .

It's only been a little over a week for me but this happens constantly to me , when I forget for a second and everything seems normal for a moment , just a moment till I realize wait I have herpes . It's not normal . I feel spaced out and try hard to not think about it. I am very glad to hear some one come to terms with this . Maybe one day I will. Good luck Hun ,, @thisisgoingtobeokay

Hey Boston mass here , female 21 , looking for any one local or not , make or female . I just need to talk about this with someone who understands . This is my first week and I'm crushed . Pm me if you'd like , we can help each other

I guess herpes does more on the mind than anything . I just want to feel loved and I don't think I ever will unless I find a h+ man . I guess that's what we have left . I'm young and any man I meet is sure to run when I tell them . I don't want to keep having sex with out love and I made that decision before I found out . But I guess I'm too late . And nobody knows I am . I refuse to let anyone know . I can't bear them looking at me in disgust . I feel so alone. This group is all I have for hope right now

It's been a week and everyday I have moments of grief ,( if I feel anything down below , I wince) and it scares me and moments when I feel normal (when I'm to busy to think about it ) I can't even focus on things that I like . Make up or clothes or trying to get into school or life in general . And then sometimes I think I can control it and hide it and if I pass it to some one lie and say I never knew ( which is totally immoral yes but I can't help but think it ) I'm just being honest . I just found a great guy but I can't help that I will only ruin his life by being selfish . So I've been shying away but I just need some advice on how to go on from here . Denial is clearly not working because it's all I think about , I feel like herpes is tattooed to my forehead, I can't help it .

It's been a week and everyday I have moments of grief ,( if I feel anything down below , I wince) and it scares me and moments when I feel normal (when I'm to busy to think about it ) I can't even focus on things that I like . Make up or clothes or trying to get into school or life in general . And then sometimes I think I can control it and hide it and if I pass it to some one lie and say I never knew ( which is totally immoral yes but I can't help but think it ) I'm just being honest . I just found a great guy but I can't help that I will only ruin his life by being selfish . So I've been shying away but I just need some advice on how to go on from here . Denial is clearly not working because it's all I think about , I feel like herpes is tattooed to my forehead, I can't help it .

I feel just like you . But I am alone . Either an ex or a one night gave it to me . I was in a really low place and started dating two guys . And well I guess I'll be dating 2 ppl for the rest of my life . Herpes and who ever I find . It suck because I am the same . I have tons of clothes and make up and friends . I quit cigs a year ago . I want one sooooo bad now . I know it's the stress but jeesh If I ever had a monkey on my back it's now . I smoke weed. I have since I was 13 and I'm 21 . I don't recommend it but it's the only thing that helps me now. I haven't wore earrings make up or did my eyebrows in a week . I look how I feel and it sucks . I woke up this morning trying to do better trying to feel better but it's the same . If you want to talk I'm here I'm a newbie too . I'm crying as I type . I hear there's hope . Maybe we can help each other or Atleast try.

Thank you Herry , I appreciate your kind words . I have very mild symptoms and pray it stays dormant . I started taking a multivitamin and extra vita c . I'll save l-lysine for if I ever have a horrible ob . Maybe it can save the day lol. I'm trying to be positive and put it into gods hands

Oh and when I was tested it was by blood , at the time I showed no symptoms and felt fine , but it was a 2 week follow up after I went to the er because I was feeling irritated down there . No bumps . I was diagnosed with cervicitis told I looked swollen with a lil discharge but fine . and given some std tests , a shot and some pills . But the tests came back fine , I chalked it up on his size . I thought he probably was too big or somthing . So after that I felt fine . Got my gyni check up 2 weeks later was fine . Waited for my results in the mail. I didn't get a call back in over a month so I thought I was fine , she usually just sends the results in the mail so u wasn't worried . Then a month after that I get a letter stating she could not get in contact over the phone with me and needs to discuss my results . I almost died. Idk if this triggerd my ob or the fact that my ex keep pestering me to get a pregnancy test , and I thought I was pregnant and had aids . So to make matters worse when I called she was on a 3 day business trip and I had to wait till Saturday. Still no symptoms . Once I got the call I didn't kno where to turn , what to do , what to say , how to feel . I went numb and started to do extensive research . I started feeling like a uti was coming on so I was going to call and ask for a script but after reading I found out that's a symptom and I started to really freak the fuck out . Sorry for the language but I'm from Massachusetts and I'm a potty mouth lol. Any ways after I researched what to ask her I asked for the name of the test and the level . She said it was herpesselect EIA and my level was 5 for hsv2 . So it was a definite . I guess reality put me to shock and I started crying at work. Again blaming it on work stress . I just want to lay down and die . I kno I can't leave my mom or my best friend . I'm just lost

It's been a little over a week since I found out I was hsv2 positive. I haven't actually said this out loud yet . I'm only 21 yo . I feel like my life was ripped out of my hands . I was in a very low place and made the biggest mistake of my life . I can't tell anyone . That's a lie I can tell my mom . My dad was hsv + and never gave it to my mom . But I can't help but still feel like I'm dirty . I have lost all motivation and ppl are noticing and I keep lying blame in guy on my period or other things but it's really just the fact that I can't stop thinking about it and the day it happened and why I let it happen. I can't even breathe sometimes . 2 days after I found out u started haveing prodome symptoms . Not many but I felt tingles , and itchy and I felt a pain in my lower abdominal . I thought it was a uti but now I know . I still haven't seen any bad lesions . All I see is tiny white bumps on my labia minora \ majora . They don't hurt or itch . It feels like I'm swollen and sensitive . I keep thinking this isn't happening . That it's all in my head . Sometimes I hardly notice it if I'm not focusing on it . But I'm usually allways focussing on it . I started the 10 day accyclvior (how ever you spell it lol) treatment I feel much better now but I still have the bumps . I'm just looking for some advice from ppl with the same symptoms . I got all the typical prodome symptoms , tingles then slightly itchy , slight burn when I pee , sensitivity , tiny white bumps but it has been 6 days since I started the treatment and the bumps are still there but they haven't changed or blisterd or anything . I'm just confused or in denial . But is this normal ? Am I overreacting ?