katie

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Thank you for your wise advice. You have shown me such support in my wacky expedition. I will not post again until I have any results. Thank you.

I agree it could be anything, but isn't it strange all these things started happening after I briefly kissed someone and the next day they got a cold sore.

I need closure. I know this is crazy but i hope I get a positive diagnosis. I need to move on for crying out loud. How can I heal if I can't get a diagnosis? And really looking forward to a positive diagnosis is quite sad...the only happy thing about it is I will get to see Herry perform!!!!

I am in Canada....all our STD centres do not do blood testing...Stupid I know! Hardly any doctors here support herpes blood testing. I have searched and managed to beg one to give me a blood test. I have finally decided that I am going to go to a hospital emergency department tomorrow at a hospital that specializes in these type of viruses. I know this is what I have, for some reason, it has spread all over my skin someitmes showing up as one or two pimples, sometimes more. The nerve surges are typical of herpes prodome. Vaginal and anal burning/itching/pain and tingling down legs. Same with the face, tingling mostly, not as much pain. So I don't want to post a worst case scenario here, but I fear that's what it is. Everytime I feel nerve pain or itching a pimple appears somewhere. I am worth it! I deserve to be treated seriously and have my symptoms be heard and respected. I am not some crazy emotional female! Doctors have become too complacent and I just let them walk all over me. I am taking control. I am a mom of 3. I am a beautiful intelligent person and I know what's happening to my body so some doctor out there is eventually going to respect me enough to believe me and journey with me to figure out what this is besides telling me I am nuts! I would really appreciate some good vibes headed my way in next little while. Feeling really empowered but at the same time really frail.

Thanks Dancer!

Ok great thanks for your prompt response. Now I have to find a doctor to do it. I can't tell you how many refused a herpes blood test before I finally got one to agree at 10 weeks which was negative.

Hi. Just to clarify....does anyone know out there, how long I would have to wait to test for HSV from a blood test after being on antivirals? When should I get tested? THanks

OMG hysterical...just noticed I have been spelling herpes wrong! LOL!

Thanks for your post. It made me cry. I have never been very accepting of myself.....no reason really....I am very successful...I am a professional, academic, I would say fairly attractive, in good shape, good mom, fun, love to learn and experience new things, but there has always been an empty space....tried to fill it with "connecting sex".....backfired......now I am left with the same empty space and herpies. Maybe herpies will be my journey to figuring out what this empty space is and eventually filling it to be a whole new complete me.

Also, my biggest fear is the total loss of intimacy with another person.....really hard to feel vulnerable to that again with or without H.

Thanks Herry! I was so hoping you would write back. Came across nucking futs is right. There's a long story behind my HSV contraction or non contraction as there probably is for everyone....filled with lots of turmoil and emotion and bad luck (LOL). Really struggling sometimes to contain it and it came out on my last post. Apologies! I really appreciate your perspective and have read lots of your posts and you are very eloquent, not surprised at all you are writing a book...definitely would be a great read.

Well, I read over my previous post and I sound like a total lunatic! So here is my attempt to be a rational human being struggling with something difficult that has happened in her life.....something that she never thought would happen to her! I believe I have contracted oral hsv1 and genital hsv1 at one time. I have been experiencing symptoms with various degrees of intensity and duration for 5 months....going on 6. I cannot obtain a positive diagnosis yet and have been on antivirals for 2 months with not much change. I have recently got off them and now on antidepressants. Waiting to take another blood test at which time I will post and ask that Herry the Herp better get his tutu ready! I, like a lot of you, hate that sex, such a normal expression of intimacy and love/lust can have such an emotional and physical consequence. I am in my mid 40's, just got my mojo back after having children and then this hits me. Seems like some sort of sick joke. I was really enjoying sex, finding out I am really good at it (lol) and it hit me like a truck! Having sex at this age, so much more mature and appreciative of sex and all it has to offer....compared to when you are younger is really quite amazing.. I went from ecstatic and enjoying all that sex had to offer to feeling like I will never have sex again (all in 6 months)....tough being on such a severe switch in emotion.I just can't imagine how to get over the anxiety of 1)knowing that sex can be good after herpes and 2) of transmission. I know all the facts and statistics...how do you get out of your head and enjoy again! Since my symptoms have been continuous it feels like I am always contagious....its never safe to have sex! And if I have genital and oral HSV1 technically it shouldn't be reeking such havoc on my body. It's supposed to be the "more tolerable herpes"....NOT! I want to get passed this but my physical symptoms won't let me forget. I have been reading posts and people have wrote that they have done so much personal exploration on the herpes journey...I was hoping I could get some ideas from you out there on how you came to terms....what was your trigger to let it go.....I have so many supportive people around me that are trying to help but I don't think anyone can understand unless they have it themselves.

Just wondering if you ever got them swabbed. I get those red pimples/bumps too on my hands/arms/legs.

Didn't go to hospital...slept all day instead. I am going to ask to see a nerve specialist. Love to all.