Helzbelz88

Today I went grocery shopping and was a bit down about the itching then I decided most people could use a smile and they might be down about something too. Corny I know but I smiled at every person I saw and felt better from it and it was a distraction from the itching. :)

Actually as shallow as it sounds H has already helped me lose weight (not crazy amounts) because of needing to eat better and be more careful with certain foods. Before this I was already trying to lose weight so I guess this is another positive about H :P

Thank you, it's nice to be able to put concerns here and get support, sometimes having read about it just isn't enough. I'm also trying to stop thinking about it as much - was just thinking about if a friend was to ask me what I had been up to lately the only honest answer I'd have would revolve completely around H. I don't want to become obsessed and I have a personality prone to that behaviour. Just keep telling myself H won't take over my life if I don't let it- easier said than done right now, would love to go to the gym but I'm afraid it'll make the itching even worse. Oh well this too shall pass :)

So my first OB technically started about 2 weeks ago. Started off like thrush then went to the burning then the blister came. Started a 5 day treatment for it and within a couple of days the blister was gone. Finished the 5 days then it still felt weird down there like constant friction but not really itchy or burning. Within 5 days the itching started again and the burning like it did before the blister came. I've started another 5 day treatment again to avoid the blister coming up but I'm not sure if the itching is thrush again which I'm prone to ( never in such a short period of time though) or a second OB. I've been using zinc & castor oil ointment which is helping with the burning and the itching for short periods of time and salt baths. Yesterday morning my vagina felt more normal than it had in the last 2 weeks then by the evening the itching was back. I ate more sugary foods yesterday than I have since the OB first started so I'm thinking I might have flared it back up maybe. I have never been so aware that I have a vagina so now every little twitch seems like something. Guess I'm just worried I'm gonna keep having repeat OB's and the itching won't go away. Here it's the same when it comes to the suppressive medication- only used for when there's lots of outbreaks. My nurse even had to look up Lysine when I asked if I should use that - she did admit that I know more than her but that's still not very reassuring

Thanks guys :) So I decided to tell a friend, I was crying as I wrote the text. Sent a long first intro one telling them I needed to tell them something that sometimes changes people's minds about a person and that it shouldn't but it does. So he said hit me with it. Told him and his response was "ooh that sux, have you been to a doc or got some meds. A friend of mine has it, she got married about two months ago" Nice to have a friend get that it is something and that I'll need support at times but not see it as a big deal. Now it's my head that needs to think that and on a full time bases :) ***i read the blog after I'd done it- which kinda made me laugh. I will continue reading it until I don't need to :)

I know it's possible because I've read it on here but I'm having a low moment. Can't shake the thought of what guy is going to take the time to get to know a girl without sex let alone a girl with herpes. I know the correct answer is a guy worth my time - just having trouble getting myself to believe it'll happen one day.

Thank you both. After soccer training tonight one of my friends who is a bit younger than me was going on about her latest guy and how it's great they really got to know each other in the week they spent together before they had sex... Made me cringe just listening to it. Actually there were a lot of things said tonight that before H would have barely registered but was hard to not think about tonight. Had to keep telling myself to just shrug it off, just shrug it off. Hopefully in time it won't be the main thing on my mind all time.

We'll got the results today - sure enough positive. Ever feel like you're crying because you know it's sad and your meant to but you don't really need to, kinda how it was today. As much as I know things will be different from here this site and everything I have read has helped me work on the positive change even before the results were in. I know there will be hard days but I'm not nearly as down about the diagnosis as I thought I would be. Before this I was already trying to work on my self esteem and how I treated myself- I almost feel like this has happened for a reason and that I needed this to work out just how important I am. I still have a long way to go for sure, but the light at the end of the tunnel gets a bit brighter with each day I get up and go on with life and be the best me I can - what else is there to do. :)

Thank you :) Regardless of what happens from here I have already gained so much perspective on a lot of things.

Today the receptionist told me my results were back and I could wait for a nurse to get them ,so I did. Spent about 20 mins preparing myself for the positive that I know it will be, telling myself I already know the results so don't panic or freak out - obviously I was fooling myself with this. Then I see the nurse and she gives me the concerned face look then as we sit down she says "how are you doing?" I literally almost burst saying The results! You have them! The receptionist said you do! Turns out the results were for the STD swabs that I already knew we're fine. I literally burst into tears and then rattle off everything I know about herpes and then start breathing again. The nurse tells me I'm doing so well and know so much. The whole scene is funny when I think about it now.. Guess no matter how much I try to control how I'm going to react I can't.

Thank you for these words, great to read after a day of pondering that as usual didn't quite resolve much. :)

Hi I'm new here but have already found a lot of support from just reading the posts. I am awaiting results but am 100% that it is herpes. I know life will go on and it isn't the end of the world and it could be much worse. I guess like anything this change is going to take some time to adjust to and at times I find it hard not to push that small voice out that is being negative. For the first couple of days I hid and couldn't face the world, then I knew life had to go on and it was up to me how I was going to deal with and approach that. As much as I know that it's not the case I feel as though I'm walking around with a huge sign on my forehead. When I've been trying to get back to the normal day to day and actually let myself do that I forget I have herpes then right when I'm laughing again or having fun this voice says "you shouldn't be having fun or laughing, you have herpes". I guess it's the stigma that surrounds it that's causing that voice, I am trying to not let it effect my personality in a bad way because I know I have herpes not that I am herpes but this is easier said than done right now. I guess I do know the answer to this question but would just like to hear from some people with experience on this and have some one to talk to. This gets easier?? ***sorry about the big post- been preparing it in my head for days and finally got the balls to get it out :)