Helzbelz88

So happy for you!!! It really is just a thing. Enjoy yourself xx

Yes Dancer you are exactly right! I just keep telling myself calm down and enjoy the moment. Thank you Whitedasies ! Give yourself time but never think you are not worth it! You are beautiful inside and out xx

Thank you! Can't believe I got to this point after only a few months! Now I'm just trying to stop myself thinking too far ahead yet :))

So I met a I guy online Saturday - actually upgraded my subscription to a paid one so I could respond to him. He later told me if I hadn't done it he was going to so he could message me (fairy tale I know) So we pretty much messaged constantly then decided to meet up yesterday, he knew I had something to tell him and he knew it could be emotional or hard for me to say, he had already guessed a few things it could have been and std was one of them. I didn't tell him till in person because I wanted to see his reaction. So we meet and are just talking for hours about everything then he asked what did you want to tell me? I said I wasn't quite ready yet and we carried on talking about other things. Then I decided he hadn't run yet after all we'd talked about and we already knew at the very least we'd be friends. So I told him and got it out with minimal tears ( first in person disclosure). He put his hand on my leg when I was struggling with words, because I already told him no hugs until the end. Once I had finished he told me he had been involved in providing support for youth/ people with herpes through the local hospital and knew that it was manageable and wasn't a deal breaker for him and he wasn't going any where. I told him that if we were in a relationship I would lie to the doctor about having regular OB's to try to get suppressive medication to reduce the risk especially while it was new. I told him I could never put a partner at risk first without having told them so they could be informed. He told me that me telling him showed how honest I was and that as he'd been cheated on in the past among various other things and knew he wouldn't have to worry about those things with me. He was really supportive and made me feel like it wasn't a big deal and then said can I hug you now? We spent the night together cuddling and kissing and other things, he wanted to have sex and was ok with it but I told him I wanted to wait till we knew each other better and because it's the first time I've done this I want to make sure my feelings are genuine too not just because he's the first guy to want to be with me after H. He respected this and said he would like to wait to and not start a relationship because of sex. In one night of being in each others company he has treated me better than any guy I've actually been in a relationship with, he told me when he saw me he thought I was so beautiful that he was nervous the whole night thinking I was too beautiful for him. I was so comfortable around him that I even surprised myself. The day before I started talking to him I had pretty much decided I wasn't looking for a relationship and didn't need a guy around to learn to deal with life again and then here I am 4 days later going to see him again tonight to spend more time with him. It's very early days but things are already looking very positive and I am excited to really know some one before taking that next step. Sorry it's mushy but where else would I post the story :P

Yeah, I literally played out in my mind how it would all go for this girl even before they told her it was just thrush. Just wanted to it be the real story haha.

My sister and I were watching a programme where a teenager had just had sex and was itchy. Her friends were telling her to get checked out and it might be herpes " that NEVER goes away" She goes to a doctor and just has thrush. This whole time I'm watching going " please have herpes please have herpes" just so it would have to be addressed. I know it's just tv but still would be a nice change for once at least here any way.

Glad I'm not the only one. Your all right of course. I knew after my break up that no one could love me if I didn't love myself first - and that's even more true with having H. Think it's time to just get back to basics thinking too far ahead has always been a problem of mine. Truth is I actually want to learn to deal with and get used to having H alone, without any relationship/male issues. Before H I was going to the gym 3/4 times a week plus playing 2 sports, I've not been to the gym because I'm afraid it'll cause an OB but I know that going to the gym made me happy and helped my moods stay constant. Just going to have to man up and get back to the gym - so what if it causes and OB will just have to deal with it if it happens. Can't class myself as "fragile" because of H otherwise that's what I will be.

Here is what I don't get. Recently got out of a relationship and this was before I got H. From the relationship my self esteem took a hit and I wanted to focus on myself and being happy with myself and by myself. Then I get H and it's like all I think about is finding a guy to be with me and who will want to now that I have H. This is so crazy because when I really think about it regardless of H I don't want to be in a relationship and I still have all the same things to work on and before H I was feeling better about myself and was enjoying being alone but still had a lot to achieve. Wish I could stop thinking I need to find a guy ASAP because of H when really as a person I'm no different and still have the same things to work on and don't actually want a relationship. "Sigh"

Ok so those that may have read one of my posts about feeling life I was being dishonest if I didn't disclose even though I hadn't met the guy might follow this better. So I had been talking to a guy online pretty much made it clear sex was the last intimacy after getting to know someone. We still have not met but hope to even if as friends. He has a past that I don't yet know about and I guess I got to the point of I just want to put it out there so it's done. I kinda hinted I had something to tell him that may or may not be a deal breaker - obviously we have not yet met so something about him could easily be a deal breaker for me. I didn't want to do it over text wanted to do it in person but then I figured why bother meet him if he can't handle this, and maybe as it's my first disclosure ( to some one not a friend/ family) I just wanted to rip the band aid off. So here is how it went: Ok well the short version is you know how people get cold sores on their mouth I could get them down there. About a month ago I found out I have herpes . I can tell you more about it if you want to know but that's what it is and why I'm so cautious with feelings and sexual stuff. It is very new for me and has been a hard adjustment so you can understand how vulnerable it might make me feel when it comes to potential relationships or even letting a guy in to get to know me. It is very common and 80% of the population has it but it is not talked about very much. I hope you will understand how much trust and bravery it takes to tell you this. Now it's out in the open so react to it as you need to. oh is that all? did you get it from someone or always had it? i can imagine how hard it could be to come out and say it, but it treatable isnt it? i thaught it would of been something worse but its no a problem at all I got it from someone that is asymptomatic. It is manageable but I will have it forever. The transmission rates between female to male are 5%, 2-3 if I take daily antivirals and 1 or less with a condom as well. It is contagious as it's a virus but obviously doing the above and not having sex during and outbreak lowers transmission rates oh ok, youve done your reasearch havent you, aww having it forever that cant be too cool for ya, how ofen do ya break out? asymptomatic? is that like they have it but dont know? - and obviously I go on to tell him all about it. We may not be any more than friends ever but I still feel good about telling him even if it wasn't entirely the way I wanted to :)

This might sound stupid and not be helpful. Depending where your sore is exactly at the back - I had everything you said from tonsillitis , after 2 years worth of glandular fever ( think it's called mono in the US)

I have told my sister and 2 of my managers at work know. A female friend knows and 2 males friends. I haven't told my sports teams because I don't trust them enough with my feelings and because I don't think they all have the ability to not treat me different or could be mature about it. And because I'm not ready to put it out there myself.

Tonight I was at a dinner with a sports team. We had to write on a piece of paper something about us know one would know -( of course the first thing in my mind was H but didn't write that) Two of the girls were joking about what to write and one said I have chlamydia and they both start laughing and saying no I actually don't haha. It just made me think if only they knew what they had really said. Made me sad not because I have H but because they have no idea how common these things are. 4 weeks ago a comment like that would have made me go into my shell and think everyone knew and want to just leave. Tonight I managed to brush it off as ignorance and try not to dwell on it. Yeah I didn't tell them off or say well actually I have herpes, but I feel good their comment didn't cause the same reaction it would have before.

Had been feeling a lack in general motivation the last couple of days Read this this morning and it really helped :)

Dancer is right everyone finds something that works for them. I've found that zinc ointment helped - I had a lot of itching , worst at night when trying to sleep. With the zinc cream I used heaps on the outside and inside, it made it better but didn't take it away completely. The itching may be something that your body just needs to deal with - about a week or so ago I was worrying it would never stop but it's getting better now. I know it's hard and all your thoughts get consumed by being itchy but it won't last forever. Salt baths really help, they're also good for helping me relax I find. Try some things including adjusting your diet and see how it goes - try to be ok with it not being fixed over night like any big change it will take time for things to sort themselves out. :)

We'll we had both recently got out of relationships and from what I can see from Facebook I'd say he got back with his ex. She has put up a status about their anniversary saying how they been through a lot this last year but their love is strong. I'm guessing he can't support me because he'd have to acknowledge how I got H and I'm guessing he won't have told her so he's just going on as if it didn't happen. His reaction to me having it was " if I have it to I'll just deal with it" and when I told him I'd finally got the positive results he said that's not surprising. I mean yeah it wasn't given the symptoms but still just a little bit of kind words would have been nice. Regardless of the reason I've realised he's not the friend I thought he was and looking back on it even before this I've always put more into the friendship. Think I just need to let it go.

Yeah think I'm gonna push it with the doctor if this carries on. Prob doesn't help I'm having a down few days. The guy I got H from is asymptomatic and we'd been just friends for 10 years. He's been there through all break ups I've ever had and he's stopped talking to me since I got H from him. I know I have to let it go and he isn't worth my time and thinking space, just kinda harsh of him after 10 years of friendship

Thanks Dancer - close I'm in NZ Regardless of wanting to use suppressive therapy if I was in a relationship, the constant itching and numbness I've had would suppressive therapy help with that also- even though no more blisters have happened yet? Just thinking that if suppressive therapy helps with all symptoms wouldn't even be a lie since they have been constant sine I got H

Thank you ! Yeah, so far things haven't felt normal since getting H - I've only had the one blister right at the start but still have itching every day. Here they don't do the suppressive therapy unless you have lots of OB's. At the moment I'm not taking anything medication wise - trying to figure out if it's itching to start an OB or just because it is. Obviously don't want to get to the blister stage but still don't know what's happening. Either way there's still itching and numbness so who knows. Just wary about getting close to someone when I can't tell if it's stopped or started, I do need more time to get used to it , but your right I don't want to hide away either

Thank you for your words. Guess I'm just afraid, H is new to me and I can't even tell if I've stopped having an OB or if it's still going, can't imagine having sex when I don't even know what my body is doing. Guess that's why slow is good, but does make me think I shouldn't be trying to get involved with any one in case it progresses because I don't know how long before things will stop itching or feeling like an OB

Thanks guys! I don't even know why but the minute anything becomes in reference to sex I panic, as if I'm not entitled to even talk about it. Thanks for the support - going to work on not over thinking and just having fun, and shaking the above feeling. :)

I joined a chat site mostly to take my mind of H and have a bit of a distraction. I've been talking to one guy who seems nice, very early days haven't met him or anything like that. I already feel like I'm lying to him. Told him I'm not rushing into anything and taking any new relationship really slow and not just after sex. So he says that's good he likes people with morals and self respect. I feel like I don't have those because I have H which I know is stupid but I feel like I'm being dishonest. I'm not even sure I'll meet this guy in person so I know it's not something I need to disclose now but I can't stop feeling like I'm painting a picture of some one I'm not, even though I'm being honest in every other way. Part of me says just tell him then it'll be over either way but then another part says what's wrong with getting to know someone and see what develops because it might still not be anything regardless of telling him. I'm really trying not to be someone that backs away from relationships even just friendships but I'm struggling.

I'm female and have had HSV 2 for about a month. I'll get some Lysine to try and see how I go. Just getting worried the itching will never go away.

Ok so I'm struggling with the itching - no blisters and doesn't burn when I go to the toilet. During the day is not so bad if it stay busy, night time is the worst. Tested for thrush, no thrush. Do the salt baths, use zinc and caster oil ointment but this is all quite temporary relief. I've done 2 lots of the 5 day medication treatment but only had one blister. The itching has pretty much been constant for almost a month now. Does Lysine help with the itching as well?

" you are not your condition" Love that. Before H I was trying to like myself more, so that I could eventually love myself. H has very quickly helped me realise just how horrible I was to myself before and that needs to change now. I never knew how strong I was until now and I have H to thank for that. I refuse to let friends pity me - support yes, pity no.

The pharmacist did know the cause but I was surprised they recommended it. I'd been having trouble sleep because of the itching getting to the point where I'd actually have to itch to get relief then be near tears with dealing with the aftermath. I'd then use as much zinc cream as I could to try to get some sleep. So I laid off the zinc cream last night but to be honest it was feeling a bit better before taking the antihistamine but I took one any way. Had the odd twitch here and there but nothing like before and could actually sleep in a normal position again - not on my back with legs spread as wide as they could go. I don't know if it was all down to the antihistamines or not but my vagina got a break and I got some sleep. I'd say its worth a go :)