Helzbelz88

So things with the bf aren't working out for non H related reasons. I know staying with a guy because he accepts I have H is not an option, and I find myself trying to work out if I'd be more sad without him or if it would be because I worry I won't find another guy that accepts me. Obviously I guess if I'm at this point I probably already know the answer. Just a bit down having a if it ends I might not find some one else moment. Comment as you will, this is more of a sigh post than anything else.

Good to hear there is some progress. Xx

Thanks Seeker for your words and emotion I sometimes want a mum hug or their support and I know she would be more hurt I thought I had to go it alone. But I think it's something I'll keep to myself. Sometimes just feel I'm being fake with them because as far as they're concerned I'm happy, and I am just don't like feeling as though I'm keeping something from them. I think because I'm pretty fine most of the time telling them might not provide the support I think I need and cause them more concern than they need. Thanks again :)

Thanks Dancer. I think they would still love me regardless but I've made it so far without them knowing and the only time I feel down about it is if I'm having a bad OB. I think I'll leave it for now at least, my sister knows and other people close to me and I'm strong enough myself. Guess I just worry my mum will get suspicious if I'm ever pregnant and had to have a C - section because of H. Guess like most things I worry about I'll put that in the deal with it if it actually happens category. Xx

I consider my parents more of friends than parents and tell them most things and I'm pretty sure they know when I'm not telling them something. I haven't told them about H yet because I wanted to live with it and learn that I could so that if I told them I wouldn't think it's the end of the world so they wouldn't either. I'm starting to wonder if this is just adding to my stress by not telling them and maybe I just should. Even just so they know and it's off my chest. I don't know, I haven't felt the need to before and I am going through an OB as well so that might add to it. Just feel like I'm lying to them, some one told me parents don't need to know everything. Just don't know what to do

Yeah that's true, I'm always more down when I have the blister. Just went to work and had a melt down to my manager, lucky they are so understanding.

Thanks Dancer. Am still a bit confused as to why it went straight to a blister when only my first one ever did and the others had more warning signs. Forgot how ugh the blister stages feel.

Thanks Dancer. Am still a bit confused as to why it went straight to a blister when only my first one ever did and the others had more warning signs. Forgot how ugh the blister stages feel.

Thanks willow! I thought the same, thought H would tell me pretty quick if it didn't like the protein shakes.

Normally I get the predomes, itching, irritation and then maybe pain which is what prompts me to take meds and confirms and outbreak but no blister appears. This time I just got the throbbing pain at night and felt uncomfortable and before morning knew I was going to need to take meds. But this time there are small white patches, not raised or oosing just white and raw feeling again skin or clothing. I get H can behave different but I'm trying to figure out if this was food related. Obviously I know because I have been stressed and felt run down lately it was bound to happen but still have a food question. I have been having protein shakes in the morning for about 3 weeks, I know this can contribute to outbreaks but this is the first I've had since having the shakes. Would it have happened quicker if it was the shakes rather than taking 3 weeks? I know it's likely to be a combination of things but wondered if it's more likely to be a quick reaction to foods or one of those you never really know things? :)

I read on another post about paranoia making us think crazy things and wanted to share this for a laugh. Recently I was on holiday overseas and held a koala while I was there. The zoo keeper said the koala carries the retrovirus aids but that it cannot be passed from them to humans. I was already worried before I held the koala thinking it was going to pass to me because of herpes. Then the next day I woke up with a rash on my hand, I have had this before but it still didn't stop me thinking I was weakened by herpes and caught aids from the koala. I had already caught a cold while I was there so obviously I already thought I had Ebola too. I spent the whole day telling myself there was no way I got aids because the zoo keeper said I couldn't - that was the only information keeping me sane. My boyfriend tried to be supportive and tell me I have neither but he though it was just a little bit hilarious. So eventually I calmed myself and realised how funny it all really was. Just shows you how your mind will run away if you let it. :)

Hi truthis I'm sorry you experienced so many lies and deception. In regards to the guy you have met you are not a fraud, although we have H you are still allowed to get to know a person and then decide if things are to progress. I have felt the exact same way but have learnt from here that you have to figure out if this person deserves to know this about you and if you see a future there and then make the decision to disclose whatever the outcome. H is just one of many deal breakers when it comes to relationship, many people on here can tell you abut relationships that didn't work out because of completely unrelated H reasons. Obviously when something is raw nothing any one says makes you feel any better but things do get better and life will go on albeit a bit different to planed but you will adapt - you already are. Give the guy a chance and see how it goes and don't forget there maybe something about him that is a deal breaker for you. Like it was said above you are not a slut and you know that. H has a way of making you realise how much stronger you are than you first thought and eventually opens your eyes to realise everybody has something they are dealing with. You are strong and you are worth it Take care Hun xx

I get the same and it usually turns out to be nothing. For me once I've had the OB or are getting to the end of it I am so aware I have a vagina that everything irritates it. I haven't yet worked out how much of it is in my mind. Any hair will irritate me or even certain pairs of underwear. I usually try not to think about the worst case scenario of it being back to back and not stress that it is. Then I might take extra Lysine for a few days just in case and have baths as well, no salt at this point though ( I have over done the salt in the past). Also try to wear lose clothing when I can. This usually works and the sensitivity is the OB ending for me, it kinda just runs it's course until it becomes as close to normal again. I'm in month 4 or 5 and things haven't felt "normal" since before it all started this is just because I'm aware of every little feeling in my vagina even when it's fine. I'm not on suppressives but do a 5 day course if I have an OB so generally I just try to ride the itching out without panicking too much and things seem to calm down for me. Maybe give it a couple more days and see how it goes. Sorry it's not that helpful, each persons body is different. Just try not to stress xx

Well said lovely Xxxx

Dancer is right (as usual :p) When any thing causes a change that is hard H or other the emotions and feelings at the start are always going to be intense, but like most difficult changes you begin to adapt and cope and then thrive. I've found it really is a time thing, I got H end of May so I'm still new to it but once I accepted that I couldn't change that I have H things got easier. If you can start focusing less on the negative and put more energy into things you can impact and change every day life is not the struggle we sometimes see it to be. Obviously every person is different and has other things going on as well but just give yourself time to be ok with it -everything else will fall in to place. Take care xx

Glad you took the time to process that. All to often we act and end up just punishing ourselves, can actually say I've done this less thanks to H. When you realise they have nothing you want or need - the point you're at, then you can really start moving forward. Keep going beautiful , even the baby steps count. Xx

No offence taken just pointing it out :)) The area I am in does not do supressive therapy unless you get lots of OB's in a shot period of time so I'm not sure of the costs but I'm sure the others will give a better answer. :))

Our "kind" is human, just like everyone else :))

Nice! I'm in NZ so I'll need to plan better for the next time!

I know , couldn't help myself sorriiee :p

Totally would be if I was a bit closer or had saved the money to travel over! Just a bit jealous ! :)

Just because some one has a degree, their name on a certificate in a frame and a professional occupation doesn't mean they don't still have the potential to be an ass. You could still meet him and school him on his naivety :P

Hey! Happy to hear you met some one!! My story is a little bit fairy tale like. We met online and talked for about 4 days then met in person and I told him face to face that first night and he said " you thought this would be a deal breaker but it's not, I understand it and am not afraid of it I'm not going anywhere " I had hinted that if we were to progress past friends we would have to have a serious conversation about something that would be very hard for me to talk about and that it makes me so nervous because it can be a deal breaker for some people. So he knew before hand that I had to tell him something. I was also lucky that he had previously worked in the hospital and was around the support group for youth and people with herpes so he knew about it and although I could rattle off all the stats he didn't need any of them. I guess I got this feeling for him and from what he said that made me feel ok to tell him and knew that at the very least we'd be good friends, I asked him to guess what it could be and he said sexual assault, std or surgery. I asked him if any of those would be a deal break and he said no what kind of man would I be if I ran from any of those things. I haven't done this with anyone else so some of the more experienced peeps may want to chime in about their experiences too. I guess there is no exact time you should wait to tell him just when you feel it's right or the time has come that he needs to know to be informed (when things seem like they're going to get physical). You need to feel like you have enough idea of his character to though because you need to make sure that regardless of whatever their reaction you need to be sure they deserve this honestly and bravery from you. Face to face is always best because then you can see their reaction and they also can see just how honest you are being and that you are in trusting something quite vulnerable to you with them. The way you approach them can also be important, if you approach it as a mess or give off the impression that it is as bad as society makes out it can be difficult for them to see past what you think of it. Given it's so new it is likely there will be emotions but it can be good that they see that too, just not a negative it's ok if you don't want to be with me now attitude. Remember though it is OK if they don't want to be with you because it just means H was a deal breaker for them not that you were. The handouts and FAQ's on here are really helpful , you could print them out to give them once you have told them so they have something to look at when by themself. It would be a lot better than them just googling it! They're also really helpful for facts and figures that you might want. I think the main thing is that when you feel comfortable enough around them to be able to have that conversation with them not even thinking about their reaction then it's time to gather your thoughts of how you want to say it and then tell them. It is easier said than done but it means you will know them and trust them quite a bit even before you tell them. A few ways you could start is " you know how people get cold sores on their lips well I get them down there" and then go on to explain that it is more common than people think and that it is manageable but there are risks involved that you want them to be aware of before anything goes further OR you could start with " I feel very strongly for you and feel that we have something special so I want to be completely honest with you, I need to tell you something that is quite a sensitive and confidential topic to me. .. And then go from there. Only you know how you feel with this person so to be honest whatever way you start it and how you say it will be the right way, maybe just practise this a bit first or even write it down to get a feel for how you want it to flow. Importantly though do not preempt their reaction because if you think they will run it can come out in your delivery. Be confident with what you have to tell them because you are an amazing person, even more so now I believe. Do not stress about how they will react because that will not help. If they do run, they were not the person for you and you will find better and some one who deserves you. I know this is easy to say, but I can honestly say how they react gives you a good idea of their character and insight into them far deeper than anything else, use this as your wingman and the opportunity to weed out the unworthys. I hope this has helped and not just a lot of ramble, like i said I'm not the most experienced so others will likely have much better comments to add. Be strong and the beautiful self that you are always, and I am here any time if you need support!! Xox

The above is from me, seems I have 2 sign ins

Sorry for the extra info just had to post it some where. This guy is so supportive like I could have never expected. He asked what I drink ( not coffee at the moment) and what snacks I'm ok with so he could have things at his house for me. He tried to find information about what foods I was trying to stay away from so he could cook me a dinner I would not worry about eating. As much as we want to spend a lot of time together he's very much aware I still need to get enough sleep to stay healthy and doesn't want me getting tired. We aren't having sex yet and are waiting but he bought me condoms for when it does happen - a style that suits the female. I have never had a guy think about me first so much. The craziest thing is that he tells me this is just how a person you care about and want to be with should be treated and I deserve this from every guy. My last relationship for the majority of it lacked any affection or intimacy so it is such a change to have a guy be so attentive towards me. I'm having to learn how to accept compliments and let a guy in because for so long I had a staunch I don't need affection attitude- mostly because I had to with the last guy. He told me he can't believe the way I have been treated in past relationships and it makes him sad to think about but that he's glad in a way because it meant he got to meet me. He is a bit old fashioned and opens car doors for me , I didn't think I would but I think I really like that. Although there has been no sex yet the connection already is so different to anything I've experienced. Sorry for the soppy post but I'm just so excited that I needed to share it. :)