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whitedaisies

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  1. Well my life is extremely complicated. I have ghsv1 with fairly frequent prodomes and red bumps on thighs or buttocks. Never a full fledged typical ob. I am under an extreme amount of stress for past 2.5 years since my diagnosis. I have had 3 successful disclosures since my diagnosis. I have been dating this new guy and taking things super slow. We didn't start having sex til 7 'months after we met. I wanted to get to know him and I knew this wouldn't lead to a serious committed relationship or marriage but a close friendship and monogamous relationship. Also I waited 6 'on the til he did his std tests that didn't include herpes so I don't know if he has hsv1 or 2 but I do know he has nothing else. It's been a struggle getting him to test for herpes especially since his doctor basically believes if u haven't had an ob u don't have it. And doesn't believe in ghsv1. I have let it go a bit but I would love to know if he has either or both but I don't want to sound like a broken record. So I have finally been able to have sex for the most part without thinking about h. It took a long while. This guy has never asked other partners for std tests. Anyway I get frequent ob and neuropathy sometimes neuropathy is just that and other times it's prodomes and honestly I just never know what's what anymore. I stopped taking antivirals back basicalku they did nothing and didn't help I assume all the stress I have been under is stronger than the meds Anyway I had pain in my baginal area and itching on my thigh and I just thought hey another weird sensation and then after sex I saw a few modified pimples on my thigh which I don't think he touched at all during sex. My worry is what if I was shedding somewhere condom doesn't cover. I just feel so guilty. I did have a stroke and am numb everywhere so all my sensations are muted and I can't really tell what's prodome or neuropathy or a h symptom. I feel so horrible I am having sex I it's him. Maybe I should not have sex altogether. Maybe someone like me shouldn't be having t considering I can't really protect my partner bc I have so many h and non h sensations and they are so frequent. But I am pretty sure this was prodome. And t was during sex and I am freaking. I didn't tell him bc we are monogamous and I don't want him freakinf. And there is nothing I can do but wait for symptoms for him. I did disclose and have talked about my issues out in the open with h. But I haven't brought it up again since we started having sex. But I feel really guilty. I feel like maybe I should have been more cautious and just not had sex. But if I did that every time I had pain or a sensation down there I would never have sex period. I feel really bad and kinda feel like I want to break it off. If he doesn't get it this time I just don't want to risk giving it to him again especially since he's a forever bachelor and this relationship is going.nowhere but we do care for each other and like each other. He does have a high level of anxiety normally but it doesn't seem to apply to stds. He's risked this likely a million times bc he's never asked his partners to be tested. But I know and I don't want to be the one to give it to him. Maybe he has it. I am also risking getting hsv2 which I am not thrilled about either. Why doesn't he get tested. It's driving me crazy. Maybe I should just break it off. But honestly he's treated me very well for the most part and has been very kind to me. I want to feel close to him like that. I miss it. I don't want to hear he knows u disclosed. He knows the risk. I want to know what would u do in my situation? Thx for listening
  2. FYI doctors in Ontario are not very knowledgeable about tests out there for herpes and also really misinformed on best practises if you need advice let me know but I would Swab your blisters and do a blood test now which is type specific and then do a blood test at 4 months post encounter.
  3. how come you didn't Swab it? Doctor needs to take a sample of fluid in blisters within 48 hours of appearance I used gamma dynacare lab for distinguishing between hsv1 and hsv2 shingles comes out very many ways this could even be a coincidence u got shingles after this encounter but she had blisters so I get why you are worried all you can do is swab blisters and I would do a blood test now that distinguishes type then once at 4 months post encounter and compare results seeing seroconversion of negative to positive will help you explain I wish you well I know you are stressed but it should settle down if it's hsv1 or 2 and u have joined about 80 percent of population still sucks I get it and sucks also bc getting it from breasts is unusual there are always risks with sexual activity which sucks but it is what it is even if u get the girl to blood test it still won't explain what's on her breasts unless she Swabs the blisters the blood test will just say hsv1 which she may just have orally or hsv2 which she may just have genitally honestly your best bet is to get yours Swabbed or wait for seroconversion on your type blood test. use same test when trying to determine negative to positive for best results
  4. you can get a blood test done to identify which strain in Ontario don't know about other provinces I paid $140 frankly imo the provincial paid one isn't very accurate I am one of the 10 percent of people who will always test negative on that combined Elisa blood test I only showed positive on the immuno blot one I had to pay for ur other choice is western blot which is to travel to USA to get most accurate test though u can arrange through westover heights clinic it is possible she had it on her breasts but not likely I don't think she's terrible bc she has it she may not even know she has it anyway you likely have kissed many people who are asymptomatic with hsv1 in your lifetime good luck hope it goes well
  5. I am not worried I gave her genitsl hwrpes. I know that's prettt impossible. My worry is her oral hwrpes can spread. She's only 7 especially id now she has on her hand. These bumps are not typical kesions and no doctor will say it's h. I am not bothering going to doctor bc there is no fluid to awab on her fingers. I am not happy she may have oral h from me but I can live worh that. Everyone has it. Maybe it will protect her from ghsv1 when she's older. My worry is her spreading it. I don't know how long she has had oral h. And we know what diagnosis is like for atypical signs When children are very young it's difficult. You can't control what they do as much. If this happened to my 14 year old. Wouldn't worry as much. hey when u get bumps on UR fingers be careful wiping yourself. They are old enough to comprehend. It's not a sad post. It is a concerned mothers post. I do not worry over every bump. I worry over these bumps. I have 3 kids...I don't worry for the other two. They haven't showed signs. Yes my mind would go there if I didn't have h. Oral h is very common and can spread easily in children. Feel like you were judging in your comments. Saying it's sad we are worried about every bump. And a bit condescending. Would you worry if you didn't have h? I know it wasn't UR intention to come across like that but you kind of painted us as xeaZu overprotective mothers who can't find logic or reason in their child's condition. That is not the case I don't want to get in a whole long discussion about it. Hwrpes is sad. When people get it it's hard. When children get it it's particular hard. That's it.
  6. I know your fears. I have and continue to feel them. I believe I gave my daughter oral h. She sleeps like a princess with her hands folded my her cheek and she has itchy bumps on her hands. I believe it has spread there. I notice she gets ear pain before she gets tiny clusters of pimples on her cheek. Orally I am upset she has it. My worry is now I think she has it on her fingers and petrified about her going to bathroom. But honestly there is nothing I can do. She's 7. If she was older I can say when u have itchy bumps let mommy know and I will put a bandaid on them. I have said that but u know kids. Now I notice she is sleeping with her hands folded between her thighs and petrified it will spread to fenital. I try to move her hands at night. I can't put her in gloves at night. It's rodiculous. I don't know what th hell to do and I just wish they would get q damn vaccine already. This is totally ridiculous. If this bullshit spreads to her genitals I will totally lose it.
  7. You both should get blood tested so you know who has what strain. It does make a differwnce for protection purposes to know. You may not decide to do anything about it but you will be educated and perhaps he will not worry anymore about giving it to you and you can enjoy oral sex again if you both have it. My advice is to get a western blot done through westover heights clinic by Terri Warren. Type 1 is very tricky to appear on a blood test and there at times are a greater risk of false negatives. Happened to me. Also with the potential of his herpes being type 1 on lips and type 2 on genitals the best test is the western blot. He may have type 1 on his genitals and type 1 orally. That happened to me. Good luck. If your doctor won't blood test u go to someone who will. That's insanity.
  8. If you have a positive swab, you are very likely positive. You likely have more than one thing going on. The reason your blood is negative is likely you have been on antivirals. It is recommended to be off antivirals for 3 months before you blood test. I would contact expert Terri Warren at westover heights clinic for advice. Good luck.
  9. Support groups are a good option. I see a psychotherapist. The key to progressing in therapy is the relationship between your therapist and yourself. It may take a few tries to find the right one. I lucked out and got a great one on the first Try. Sometimes if u see a psychologist they just focus on meds to try to make u feel better. And you may need some temporarily but u also need therapy. If your family is telling you you need one and you are feelinf it too then go for it. I tell mine everything and the good ones are not judgmental at all. Good luck
  10. I think if u r on suppression then I would say yes.
  11. Excellent mindset!!! I am hoping too thay all the struggle yields some great rewards in the future. Hugs
  12. I am in the same situation as you. Separating, 3 kids, starting to date etc. It's scary so many changes. I really commend you for taking the leap of faith. I did disclose over txt once as well. I wish you wonderful success and happiness in your new life. You had a wonderful disclosure. Kept your composure!! Xo
  13. I am so sorry you are going through this. I suggest you go to your doctor and ask to be on daily suppression to help with the frquency and severity of the cold sores. Try to determine if you are eating or drinking anything different or have more stress in your life. Chocolate and alcohol are known triggers as well as stress. Try to limit these along with the medication. I am so happy you have a loving wife to support you. Don't push her away. She loves you and this time especially you need love and intimacy. I understand exactly how you feel. I am dealing with similar things but I don't have the supportive partner. Perhaps you may want to seek therapy or Adrial does coaching sessions to help you out of this difficult time. Hang in there. You are not disgusting. You have a virus and hopefully with meds and changes to diet wtc you will get better. Work on healing your emotional self too. Hugs!!!!
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