MMissouri

Sorry! I was genuinely curious because there are people with autoimmune issues that ask for guidance and I thought perhaps you had some insight. Part of it is because I'm very into the pros and cons of treatment and part of it was I thought maybe you didn't realize that the antivirals were not necessary for some people. I learn by asking questions, but I'll refrain from asking anymore.

I agree with Sail. And if you aren't 100% into moving on, maybe that's the reason for the failed disclosures. Maybe it would be best to take some time for you.

I eat almonds! And chocolate..and coffee.. and alcohol. Food does not cause any issues for me.

If your outbreaks are manageable, why would you want to take the antivirals since they could cause further heath issues for you? Just curious! It is essentially your decision, I just hope that you realize that they aren't a "have to take" but more of a choice.

Never heard of that before @stilladjusting, but everyone reacts to meds differently.

I can second that I've never heard of a urine test for HSV. You can be tested for other STDs through urine though (trich, gonorrhea, and chlamydia). Perhaps they are testing for everything?

@stillstruggling. Love it. Couldn't have said it better! (I'll try to be aware of my use of adjectives in the future also, very good points).

It's tricky. Some people get hit in multiple places, some don't. We aren't sure why this happens, but there are ideas (Immune system status, length of time you've had it, etc) My husband had oral herpes, about a year into the relationship I found out I have genital, and we never used any precautions other than abstaining during an outbreak. To this day (18 yrs later) we've never had an outbreak in the opposite area. And he was a horrible nail/cuticle biter, if anyone would get whitlow you would think he would have it. But then you get people that get it in every location possible. There really is no one answer for that question, sorry. The swabbing on her would be pointless if she didn't have anything to swab. The blood test (assuming shes had it awhile) would be the best bet. Was it an IgG type specific blood test? And with herpes you can carry it and never know. Although she had an ex with cold sores, there is a possibility that she may be negative. Just wanted you to keep that in mind.

1. Yes, it's more likely to catch HSV1 genitally through oral sex. 2. Since you have HSV1 genitally, I wouldn't worry about getting it orally. It can happen, but oral HSV1 is so common that people barely blink at that diagnosis. As for the fingers, its very rare to get whitlow. Just be mindful of any sex during outbreaks (but you said she was negative so far? So she may not be your giver?) 3. During the first year, it's common to have multiple outbreaks. The skin should heal up after awhile and things should look normal. Did they swab you? And how did they test her? Blood test?

I've never heard of someone taking them only at the beginning of the month. The usual seems to be daily or at the beginning of (length of) outbreaks.

We can all relate to what you're going through stigma wise. I was just hoping that your reasoning was the stigma, because if you can change your thinking then you'll realize that the physical symptoms are not life altering (for the majority of us). Why can't you drink? I don't remember seeing anything about alcohol and antivirals?

I love your outlook and I'm glad you removed yourself from the relationship, it sounds toxic. I have to admit I'm curious about your treatment plan/options. Since antivirals are harmful to you, and you have autoimmune issues, what is the plan for the future? Are you going to wean yourself off of them eventually?

Mine is going to be persistence! I have so many things going on that I often get overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. I think I'm going to put it on the mirror also :)

I love this! I'm going to think of a word I need for the upcoming year.

Good luck and you're welcome.