Geminij

Sorry... I know I shouldn't feel this way but it's the honest truth of my feelings. The hardest part is how it affects my mood it makes me tired, lethargic and just can't be bothered to socialise. I get awful back pain at the base of my spine and it's hard because my family and friends around me just think I'm being weird and unsociable.

It's just a big deal. Everyone was so shocked.. I did it though xx

It's back again... And so is my low mood and isolation. Is it true I'm more likely to have a miscarriage now that in h+? ... Why me? What did I do ?

It just brings me down every time...

So.. I'm a teacher... And I've jut wrote my resignation. It's fair to say I'm stressed. I'm so worried about telling my boss because people will have no idea that I've been considering leaving. I'm nervous about it to the point of visiting the toilet about 12 times a day... Weird nightmares and sleep walking/ talking not to say I stoping working out about aong ago because work just is exhausting. It's fair to say I'm stressed... And here it is... I'm doubling my meds and taking 2000 mg lysine... Arghh

So during my first outbreak when it was at its most painful part of the typical first outbreak symptoms, I had an insect bite on the fleshy part of my lower leg, just below the back of the knee. It was a round raised bit of skin, no colour change and it just itched like a bite. Low and behold four outbreaks and three months later I have a period and get a small outbreak (even though I'm taking suppressants ) and today, I noticed the 'insect bite' ... The exact same one, same shape, same size, same place... So weird?

But if it was a wart it would be there all te time?? Oh good god

So I have a bump that I notice after sex... It's not red or painful or itchy or anything Infact it feels slightly hard like an in growing hair or a spot, but I'm noticing that it seems to 'flare' after sex... It never spreads, or gets worse it's just there. I have no idea if this is the herpes, or just a part if me that I've never noticed before because since diagnosis I feel like I don't know my body any more...

As it's early days I think it's definitely me and my mood swings that revolve around herpes that seems to be our only problem I'm trying so hard to keep it together and I'm fine most of the time but when I'm not ok I really freak out and push him away... If I don't sort this soon I think eventually I will push him away- I can't lose him to this... I'm back at the clinic tomorrow to beg got more suppressants ... :-/ fingers crossed... (Losing faith)

I duno this is difficult... . We argued tonight Infact right now he's sat in the other sofa watching tv in silence. Not H related but I think it's because of the H issues above we've ended up arguing about three stupid things and he's just ended the argument by saying I've got too comfortable with him... It would be easy to say this isn't H's fault but it's too much of a coincidence.. Huff... I'm numb

I'm in major blubber mode. Tonight my ex has asked me about my outbreak and I told him all visible symptoms had gone but that we needed to wait at least till Sunday till we can have sex ( making it a week)... He completely understands he's so awesome but as we we're watching tv he told me how beautiful I was and he kissed me in a way that I knew he wanted me. I pulled a way and changed the conversation... Then he as stroking my tummy (he was watching football so it's the deal that I get awesome cuddles whilst it's on) and his hand gradually moved towards my breasts, in the end I kissed him good night and said I was going to try and get an early night because I'm working tommorrow ( he's not)... Then I started to cry and I cried so bad it got ridiculous. I just hate that our relationship isn't the care free 'have sex when u want' rations hip. I actually feel like a part if me is being suppressed or even like I have to give up a part of who I am because of H. I just got in bed thinking 'this is so unfair'... I text my boyfriend and told him everything and he came straight to bed and was shocked to see me crying hysterically and got in bed And made small talk with me and I told him I didn't want him to touch me for reasons discussed above... Eventually we went to sleep but this morning I woke up feeling crap... ;-(

Oo me too ... What are the side effects of long term suppressive therapy?

I have taken more antivirals and 2000mg lysine and two zinc tablets and it's scabbed over in just a day... Just sad that now I'll be waiting for it next month.... At least it will give the doctors on the nhs more reason to keep me on suppressive... :-/

Just another shout out to anyone in Yorkshire uk?

My situation doesn't sound as bad as yours .... I guess I just thought if be one of the lucky one that had an ob every 10 years... Que the 'why me?' Thoughts...

It's just one spot, it doesn't itch or hurt at the moment... But get the odd 'zing' or 'zap' feeling in my foot or my hands, and I'm now realising the back ache two days agow as when I should have upped my dose of antivirals... I've doubles my suppressive dose and taken 2000mg of l-lysine and a 15mg zinc capsule... I feel bad because I'm sure there are people suffering worse than me out there right now, but what makes it hard is that my boyfriend and friends are like, well what caused it? Did I do anything different? ... Do u think your period caused it?... Do u think the anti vitals arnt working for you? ... I have no idea, from what I gather no matter what I do, I'm going to have recurrent outbreaks and that's what no one including me can understand... It's such a nasty virus why won't it just fuck off?!

I'm trying harder to be positive this time, I'm recognising symptoms more and this time it's just one sore (at least for now) it's not too painful and I'm going to buy some astringent ASAP to try and dry it up faster .... I'm just sad because I though it had pissed off and it's come creeping back up on me argh... Angry right now...

Woke up with one itch and as soon as I touched it I just knew and jumped out of bed and got the mirror. I'm on my period and had really bad lower back pain yesterday and just attributed it to that really... But now I know it must have been a sign/ symptom... I feel all sad again... I am on anti virals but I'm going to up my dose... Means I have to go to the doctors again... At least this way I can get more anti virals... But I'm gutted again...

So... I guess I'm actually moving forward with this thing. I think I've made such rapid progress due to the love and support of my boyfriend and best friends that I've told and of course this amazing forum and you lovely people. Isolation would have definitely slowed things down... Not that I'm 'open' about it, and not that I'm 'ok' with having h... Just I'm 'moving forward' from the sheer dismay, shock, panic, anxiety and self loathe that came with my diagnosis. I'm currently taking anti vitals for a month and so is my partner... This has meant no out break for a good few weeks now and I think this has allowed my mind to heal ( I guess I'm a little worried I'll drop back into the negative feigns when I get my next ob). Last week me and my boyfriend enjoyed a lovely holiday (vacation for you Americans) in Greece, where we had plenty of sun (didn't trigger) and lots of sex (oral too) and no triggers or repercussions except for us coming home even more in love and close... Some kid told a 'herpes is for life' joke on the plane home in front of a group of his make friends... My boyfriend looked over to me ( I could feel him looking to watch my reaction)... I pretended I didn't hear, even though he knows I did. It made me feel sad.. But after an hour or so I'd forgotten about it... I feel happier at the moment and just thought I'd share some positivity because most of my posts are me freaking out about one thing or another... Thanks guys x

I've had them years and have even had breast cancer screening... They come and go and doctors never give me medication just say it's down to stress I was just concerned because I'm totally not stressed at the mo...

For as long as I can remember I get small painful lumps in my armpits that seem to be linked to stress/ being run down... My question is, is there a link between swollen lymph glands in my armpit ( never my groin) and herpes? Just wondered because I've currently got one and it's nothing to do with stress I'm really happy and just had a relaxing break abroad!!

My outbreaks have been quite severe with vaginal discharge and bleeding during the first and second OB (second not as much) so I'm assuming this is because I have the blisters inside me as well as on my outer genital area.. However my bf only ever had two blisters on his groin area... So my question is, if we have sex, will he be more likely to develop blisters on the shaft or head of his penis if we have unprotected sex?

Is there details off future events like in a year or do? I'm uk...

You should... I'll be honest though the thought of touching the OB never mind putting something like that on it seems unthinkable because mine have been so bad..: maybe I'll try it in the future. I'm glad the antiviral a seem to be stopping more breakouts... Maybe me and my bf will try sex soon...??? It's going to be a long year...

What is alum? Aluminium?