seeker
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Posts posted by seeker
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sigh, im guessing he is in the under 35 crowd? not saying there aren't cads in my generation but I wouldn't dare just put my hand under a womans skirt on a date nor would I be bringing up sex that soon. on behalf of my gender I apologize. dump the bum and then sell the dump truck you dumped him with.
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thanks, im not overly worried. I am still in the whats what phase of this and hopefully that lasts a long time as the only way to figure it out is having OBS and the fewer the better :)
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chin up young lady. first off does anyone actually say venereal disease anymore?? whered that doctor come from the 1940s?
first off, h1 is very common, something like 80% of the 7 billion people on the planet have it so your not alone. and as you will find out, you can live and have a normal life with either or both types in both places or some combination thereof. whew. you will have to be more aware and do some due diligence. I hate to say it but at your age its very possible you wont stay with him, college will alter a lot about your relationship ( though the romantic side of me thinks it would be very cool for you two to go the distance). keep your chin up. does the sun not shine on you still?
Dancer your up........
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ok, im curious what unusual things people have done to deal with OBs. I've heard that drying up the sores quickly is good, heals faster. I know of a natural item that is a coagulant and is completely sterile. puff ball mushrooms. ive used these on cuts and bam, the bleeding stops and it starts to heal. I've not used them on a sore as I haven't had one recently. this is an old native American trick. I am curious what would happen if I tried it on a popped sore. though I must confess id be more likely to try it on a blister or such that wasn't in my "special place" I also know that a certain herb used by the plains people has antiviral properties and can be consumed in a light tea ( it also has anti constipation uses so a light tea is best) but I was thinking of trying a dark tea as a tincture on sores. of course part of me doesn't want the opportunity to try :) so what unusual things have you found to help with various aspects of your OBs?
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hey chinup. I did a google search for herpes support groups. I found sites that listed them by state and then looked in my area. im in the tampa bay area and we have one here and one in Orlando on meetup . however you will not find them by searching meetup and they are password protected. I had to contact the local website and then make a meetup account. I used a different email as I had an account and wasn't sure how it would display. they sent me a passcode and wala, im in. I have yet to participate as I was already busy. its more of a social group here, get out and do things to feel normal again. the Orlando one has an actual support meeting every 2 months but that's almost 2 hours away for me. I did talk to someone from the meetup group, we spoke for 3 hours and she was very helpful and comforting. has had H for 5 years, a nurse, etc.between her and my disclosing to a friend I have settled down considerably. plus dancer is always there and whitedaisies also. gotta give those two props, no two lovelier nor better women have ever lived.
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good for you. and I agree with dancer, google, esp images can scare the bejesus out of you. all worst case scenario.
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im thinking for the men in your lives its better to deal with a women with herpes who has chocolate than one who is deprived of chocolate (or any woman for that matter). I cant taste sweets so you can have mine. :)
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ok, im about 99% sure I just worked a leg muscle on Friday that hadn't had to put too much effort into life recently. my thigh was a bit sore today. like I worked out sore. that's not the leg pain people talk about correct? im guessing more achy than sore. I had to hold myself on scaffold Friday in an awkward way ( don't tell OSHA) and im guessing its from that. it did increase as the day went and living upstairs didn't help much. im hoping its a sign to workout not a sign of an OB. of course its kinda nice to not auto blame herpes for everything for a change and actually think something out.
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arrg, as a man this bothers me. listen to what he said not what you wanted him to say. hear him don't project or overanalyze.
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honestly, he is still processing this too and that could be why he is acting this way .you did tell him you wanted to wait 6 months. he is thinking about his own reality on top of helping you deal with your new one. give him time, either he is there and is someone you want to be with or he isn't and you dodged a bullet.
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whitedaisies,..... marry me.
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id love to but im out of paid days off this year other than holidays. just did a vacation up in the nc mountains and had a good time. plus once you saw my ugly mug all the forum fun would come to a screeching halt. :)
and dancer, yes google and bing images are what nightmares are made of, the national enquirer of the internet. if you want to see the worst case scenario then use those.
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I too am confused about the dose for suppressive as my md had the bottle ready for it and then I told her I wanted episodic for right now. the old script said 3x a day ( and she said it was only 1) and over it is the new one which has 1x a day for 5 days with symptoms. unless she had it backwards.
faith, just breathe and relax. you will get thru this. and while it is good to look for info be careful where you look and do not, repeat do not look at the pics!!!! they are always the worst of the worst.
and yes someone will want you again trust me. at least your a female and don't have to be the instigator knowing full and well that if she says yes to a date,and wants to continue there is a high chance that after the talk you could still be rejected. maybe that's why the H girls ive spoken with and read their posts on here have "something special" about them, they have more understanding and perspective. they understand that fear of rejection better I think because lets face it, in our society men persue women and women make the choice to be caught or not putting all the rejection on us men.
also, I disclosed to a friend who helped put this into better perspective. he has had cancer 2x, has a heart condition and is about 5 years older than me. he said " everyone has crap to deal with, its a rash and its manageable. maybe having to wait to sleep with someone isn't a bad thing?"
so look in the mirror and tell yourself it WILL be alright and this too shall pass.
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thanks guys and gals. dancer I know I know but im new to this whole Herpes game and still learning and in that whole every freakin bump anywhere could be it????? paranoia stage. after looking up OH ( and whatever you do, don't google the pics, yikes)I realized its mainly from H1 not 2.
whitedaisies, off course I wear protection ( theres a joke in there somewhere). the older I get the more safe I try to be at work because all those stupid little accidents i rubbed dirt in as a youth now hurt, dhoh. Yes, my son and I use to watch Phineas and ferb a lot but it has died down over here. still like the show ( catchy little toons, squirrels, squirrels, squirrels in my pants. first time we saw that one we were literally on the floor laughing) but he has graduated to more grown up stuff, modern family, big bang, whose line is it anyway, simpsons. I have found nuking my bathing suit area with hydrogen peroxide ( which is apparently Hell on earth for viruses, rips them apart from the inside, insert evil laugh) after a shower, letting it sit then patting it dry helps with the general itching, at least till the next morning. we in florida call it ( not referring to STIs) swamp crotch cause about 10 minutes outside and you are soaked. ive had days where I look as if I just stepped out of a pool fully dressed ( which looks far better than the alternative)
chinup, I here ya. im just under 3 weeks ( is getting herpes like having a baby in that you say age in weeks for a bit, then months, then years, then how the hell did I get this old?)
since my diagnosis, about a year since what I believe was my first OB and it was an absolute mess. 3 days straight of 103.5 fever, 2 days of 102.5 then 2 weeks on and off low grade, horrible aches and a throat that wanted to kill me ( eating ice cream hurt) then bells palsy ( which has completely cleared up except how it affected my taste). and now I worry about every itch and bump everywhere, about auto inoculation and casual transmission. I know intellectually that its just paranoia and most cant happen,esp since if ive had it a year it WOULD HAVE by now because I wasn't as careful a month ago as I am now. esp when a dr told me I had molluscum.
and now my plans for Saturday have fallen thru and ive nothing on my plate for this weekend dammit. gotta find something to do to feel normal again, my H meetup isn't doing anything this weekend last I looked. dancer, daisies, chinup, lets all go out and get a drink and dance our collective arses off!!!!!! I can cut a mean rug when im with women I know.
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ahh, I wasn't aware she is a canuck.
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opps, I meant I think I got something in my eye at work but all day long ive been in this " damn I hope its not ocular herpes" mode.
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so I went thru an itchy phase right after I had my diagnosis ( try working outdoors in florida in the summer and NOT itching) and now im in this, what the hell is that? a bug bite, a pimple or another OB? and I worry about ocular herpes every damned time my eye(s) itch, worse, I work in construction so if I get dust in my eye I end up worrying all day if ive gotten ocular herpes. ( like today) arrrgggggg curse you perry the platypus!!!!
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I found my local meetup groups thru googling support groups and checking their links. I don't think any show up in meetup search. just an fyi. and while I have no knowledge because I just had my diagnosis, ive read in here that going off suppresives can sometimes bring on OBs, seems like its a cold turkey thing. might want to look into it.
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well as someone who got H from someone who didn't disclose and used a condom im with dancer, you need to make this right. something you may not have thought about, he is now out there, possible positive and hurting from an unexplained rejection from someone he put himself out to. that means in guy mind, he will sleep with everything that looks at him and could possibly pass it on. sorry to be a wet blanket but do you want that on your conscience??? you tell him, he waits while the 4 months for potential antibodies to build and gets tested you don't and the next woman he sleeps with could catch it.
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older guy who has no problem with condoms, save the fact that they didn't seem to keep me from getting H2. as far as the little blue pill goes, ( probably TMI) I cant understand the need. I still react like a teenager most of the time. " sorry teach, but I cant come to the blackboard at the moment" I laugh at those radio commercials " are you a man over 35? ( yes 35 is in the rear view mirror and its giving me the finger) maybe you should try Cialis, Viagra etc ( or the low T ones { not saying it isn't real}) maybe because im blue collar and work in a masculine field ( construction) and there are always pissing contests it has helped keep those demons at bay.
whitedaisies, good for you. its good that your comfortable enough to disclose and smart enough to let it ride for a bit ( ok bad choice of words). actually I had your situation pop into my noggin on my way home today, you have a + H1 blood test but no swab test to correlate that you may have it in the pleasure zone if I understand it. well I went to planned parenthood and their doc gave me the meds w/o concern of the where just the blood test. maybe if you tried your local PP they may be more open to helping??? my doc said she didn't like blood tests as they don't say where on them just that you have it, but with H2 and the only sores being down there its an obvious thing in my case. ( sorry for the run on sentence). take care of yourself young lady, Ive grown fond of you on here.
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whitedaisies, stop beating yourself up! you have spoken with me and you sound like a wonderful woman. go with what the tests show to be true now, talk with your partner openly and if he don't come around come to florida and hang out with me ;)
forget what your parental units are saying, they are coming from a place of fear and shame that is part of their generational baggage. wanna funny fact to tell them? seniors are the fasting growing segment to contract STIs. yep all that making the beast with 2 backs in the retirement villages ( because you know erection pills are where we should be spending our medical research money). so stop it, you have grown to be one of my fav people on here and I don't want you beating yourself up, it actually took considerable courage to tell your family, heck im 49 and am a bit of the black sheep anyway and still haven't told my mom, my step dad maybe as he has shingles bad ( and its related).
OH, I just thought of something, go to a comedy club this weekend, hear some jokes have a drink or 2 ( or coffee or whatever) and FORGET ABOUT THE H FOR A LITTLE WHILE!!!
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for future reference, not for this guy. surgical glove and water based lube for the win!!! ;)
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also, He is a doctor, they are notoriously egotistical and usually rather shallow people. maybe go blue collar next time, we tend to be more accepting cause we know we aren't perfect. I tend to agree with dancer on the ex thing. I don't especially like my sons mother, there are a couple of things I have a hard time forgiving her for ( mainly making me a part time father to the worlds best kid) but I wish her nothing but the best, if she is happy and successful then my son will be in a better way. heck I even like her boyfriend.
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Freaking out about this news.. Devastated.. And have a million questions.. Please help!!!
in Just found out I have herpes
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hey there chinup, I had my diagnosis not quite 3 weeks. I believe I had my original OB almost a year ago, that disparity helps me put this into reality better because I know if it were that problematic I would have had to deal with more over the last year ( and would have noticed sooner) for me its not knowing what prodrome is and having to have OBs to figure it out kind of sucks. being in florida and being a guy ( I think we itch more than women do) makes it tough. I hear you about being alone, I have a 12 y/o son who doesn't live with me but I see a fair amount, every other weekend fri after school till Monday morning and then a couple overnights in between, he even sometimes sakes to stay more. that Monday after our weekend is murder for me, always has been, worse when my work required me to be alone all day. so I went from having the most important person in my life around to being completely alone even at work! bleech. I play an MMO to help pass the time and get my mind off H, nothing like fighting monsters or other players to make you forget, plus it has a social aspect in that I can talk with other people in my guild.
as far as talking with my boy, he has had an ubber sex talk but I didn't really go into STIs and im not sure if his mother did. im in an odd place cause im not comfortable with my ex knowing. its been 7 years since we had any contact of that nature so I see no need for her to know.
it will get better, I think about H less everyday. I also find helping people on here can help me. explaining how it gets better to someone else hits home more than trying to figure it out on your own or even hearing it from someone else.
plus I had already figured on being alone since im oldish and curmudgeonly plus im missing that inner voice that tells men not to answer honestly when asked to by a woman.