chikitta13

Stigma is a funny thing, no matter what it's attached to. But for something so common, it's crazy the amount of stigma goes on!! I have had one situation so far where someone made a joke about herpes, and I challenged it. But I catch myself wondering, how much of it is my own internal voice that magnifies the effect? I mean, I know the stigma is there, even if I have yet to fully face it, but do I amplify by my own doubt and fear? I don't know. I have some friends who think I shouldn't tell anyone else about it unless I plan on (or want to) having sex with them. I'm not so sure I agree with this. If it's not a big deal, why does it need to be secret? I'm a big proponent of advocacy, and I see so many advocacy opportunities around education and awareness of HSV, especially in the medical community! Like so many others, if my previous partner knew that STI screening didn't include HSV, I probably wouldn't be a part of this group! If I had the courage to be more open about my own experience, perhaps others would be able to use this information. But it's that damn stigma that prevents me from speaking up! I'm still new to this, just diagnosed in August 2014, so we shall see. I'm not one for silence, so I hope with time, I can forget about the external and internal stigma and speak my experience. Here's a to new year!!

I'm still trying to figure this all out, but I'm typically a fan of less is more when it comes to prescription drugs. That being said, I am still on antivirals as a suppressive because I was in a constant state of prodrome after my first outbreak. However, I am planning on discontinuing. I did get two more OBs, both triggered by sex and my period. They weren't too bad, but the itching is killer!!! So, now I avoid sex during my period and this seems to be key for me. But I have to say, thank god for baking soda - you can do anything with that stuff. I dilute some in a glass and rinse a few times a day. I also use coconut oil with a tiny bit of tee tree. The combo of these two gives so much relief, and it seems to help clear things up. Last, I will use my hair dryer on low, no heat, to dry after the cleaning and rinsing. I also keep unscented baby wipes in my bag for times when I cannot use the above. This helps clean the area. I do take Lysine, which is tough on my stomach. I was also taking a multi-vitamin, but it made me constipated. I've got enough issues, don' need that as well :) Best of luck!

Hey @ambitous85. I can definitely relate to some elements of your story. I was diagnosed with HSV2 in August (pretty sure it was a new infection based on blood tests, timeline). My partner was unaware that he had it. We aren't in a typical relationship - he is someone who I sleep with when I am not in a relationship. We have built trust over the years, and it is monogamous, and we both were checked out for STIs. Ironically, I chose this because I thought it was safer (oops). Anyway, post diagnosis, we continued our sexual relationship. Prior to HSV, I really enjoyed sex with him. Right after the diagnosis, following my first OB, we still had a lot of fun. But since then, it just hasn't been working. At first I thought it was stress - not just HSV, but a lot of other major life events this past year. But I realize now that it's much more than that. Part of it is my body adjusting, and part of it is my need for a deeper connection. During our last time together, he brought this up - that he feels clumsy around me, etc. I told him my body is different now, and that I am still adjusting. But I realized after that, that I want to discontinue our relationship, at least for now. I feel like part of me has continued because it's safe. I don't have to disclose to him, and I don't have to worry about rejection. I know that I have no desire to date him. And there is someone in my life who I really would like to be with. Recently this other person expressed a similar interest. And so, I've realized that I fear rejection. I always have. Even before HSV. I am good at so many things - but relationships scare the shit out of me. I've had my heart broken (horribly) twice, by the same person. Each time it led me to seek relationships that were "safe". Not that I didn't care about the person, but that I wasn't truly vulnerable. Or remaining single to avoid true intimacy. Adding HSV has seemed like another layer of vulnerability that terrifies the crap out of me. But I think it may force me to face my vulnerability and fear in a healthy constructive way. And before sex becomes involved. I can no longer use sex as an immediate connection point, and deal with the messy stuff later. I will have to face rejection upfront. Anyway, I relate to the feeling stuck. For me, I had to accept that the relationship with my partner isn't what I truly want, and that it is time to move on. If I'm stuck, I need to be the one to do the unsticking. A good friend of mine once told me "shit is warm". Makes me laugh, but how true! It's so easy to settle with something comfortable, and get stuck. So I am looking toward the scary shit, and putting myself out there. Rejection be damned!!

Thanks for the feedback :)

Hi everyone. Hopefully this is not too much info but I have some questions. I was recently diagnosed with hsv2 in August after initially contracting it from a partner that didn't know he had it. Last night I had a very intense make out session with someone I'm interested in. There was no sex, of any kind, and I did not allow him to touch me beyond lightly in the upper pelvic area and thighs. Then I moved his hands away. It led to sleeping naked next to each other and a lot of touching above the waist, but nothing beyond that. About a week ago I had mild prodrome but doubled up on the antivirals. Felt absolutely fine for the past few days. Not feeling great today though. But likely due to drinking heavily (bad, I know). Im freaking out a bit today. I hope to see him again and will be avoiding situations that end without clothing until appropriate (meaning I disclose). Was this risky? I feel shitty asking this now. And know that had I not been drinking I wouldn't have allowed it to get that far. Ugh. Because sex was so easy to navigate before this .....

Thanks everyone!! I'm trying to focus on stretching more. But it definitely was stronger with my cycle.

Hi everyone! Just wondering if anyone else noticed sciatica pain after getting hsv2? I couldn't understand why for the longest time. Then Today it occurred to me that my pain began around the same time as the virus. And that it is a nerve disease in the spine. The only other time I had issues with my sciatica was when I was sedentary, which I am not at this point in my life. I exercise six days a week including 1-2 days of yoga. I was just diagnosed in late August when I had my first outbreak. I've been on suppressive therapy since and have had outbreaks with my cycle each month. But the sciatica pain is consistent. I do spend a bit of time traveling but this is not new for me. The only thing that makes sense is the herpes. Just wondering what others have experienced. Thankks :)

Thanks!! It's weird - last month was fine. This month, not so much. I am learning to be more kind and patient with my body.

Hi everyone. I was diagnosed with hsv2 about five or six weeks ago. I had a pretty mild initial outbreak followed by two more very mild outbreaks. Because they were in such quick succession my doctor recommended suppressive therapy. That started two weeks ago and although I haven't had any sores I've has some of the other pain, tingling, and itching. Tonight my partner and I had sex. We've had sex two other times with no issues. But this was very uncomfortable and afterward I was burning and tender. We used plenty of lube. But I have had a lot of discharge. I know I am coming up on my period. Could it be related to that? Is pain and burning during sex a common occurrence? I plan on abstaining until I feel better. I just want to make sure all is well. Another question - I have an IUD. From all I can find this shouldn't be an issue like it is with other STIs. Do others have experiences with this. Thanks so much for your feedback!!