[She DOES NOT disclose to her partners]

There is no shame in HSV. The shame is in not disclosing. And the CRIME is in having sex during an outbreak with a partner who trusts you.

 

Acknowledgement: I betrayed myself in not listening to my intuition.

[i disclosed-went decent!]

Congratulations! I hope to be you someday :)

[Flyer I made tonight.]

You are so right @WCSDancer2010. I had (or still am having) the hardest time accepting what he did to me: to so knowingly put me at risk and then DENY what happened (he didn't tell me until 7 months later that he had an active blister at the time) which delayed my treatment blah blah blah.

 

It was so hard to believe that someone could act so maliciously :'-(

 

I don't think it was that he believed himself to be unloveable: he is extraordinarily charming and plenty of women love him. The kernel of acceptance I'm striving to nurture is based in my recent realization that his brain is structurally different than mine: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2514670/Scientist-James-Fallon-hes-brain-psychopath-related-Lizzie-Borden.html

 

He doesn't feel empathy or guilt or remorse. All the more reason to inform and protect the women he comes into contact with! All the more reason disclosure should be a public health priority. In my viciousness I texted to him: "You're a public health threat. Do us a favor: go back to Cuba."

[Another herpes outbreak and scared. How long to wait to have sex again?]

Many many people have it worse than I do, no doubt @WCSDancer2010 . There is no shame in carrying the HSV2 virus. There is shame in not disclosing risks to a partner who loves and trusts you. And if you're really a sociopath, you'll engage in anal sex with this partner despite active blister on your penis, thus increasing exponentially her chances of contracting the disease. Such an act should be criminal in my view.

 

How many women has he infected already? How many more college girls will he infect at the university where he works, or "Candyland" as he calls it? Yes I still have resentment, not forgiveness or peace.

 

 

 

[Flyer I made tonight.]

Definitely illuding me @WCSDancer2010 . My username is my goal rather than my reality.

[Practicing My Talk]

Thank you for your continued dedication to this community @WCSDancer2010. I'm going to practice these scripts :)

[Practicing My Talk]

I'm so fortunate in so many ways: some people have crippling diseases like MS or Lou Geurig's Disease. Some people have breast cancer and, if they do survive, they do it with one or no breasts rather than the 2 beautiful breasts they are born with.

 

I'm so lucky, I just have this annoying skin infection. Fortunately I don't have to worry about infecting my parents or my children or my very close friends. The only person at risk is you, the man I love the most in the whole world: the one person I intensely want to protect from harm.

 

Oh forget it.

[Another herpes outbreak and scared. How long to wait to have sex again?]

@Adrial @WCSDancer2010 Any update? I feel a deep calling to bring this topic and all the mishandling to the light of day. I understand the need to look on the bright side but I also feel the strong call to prevent the spread of this debilitating and expensive, life-long infection.

[Flyer I made tonight.]

I totally get how @thisisgoingtobeokay (previously defeatedbuttrying) feels and I've actually contemplated a similar flyer plan. I'm astonished that even in this forum users didn't give her the space she needed to be angry and instead found fault.

 

Screw undisclosing and unremorseful herpes transmitters. Castration would be appropriate.

[She DOES NOT disclose to her partners]

@tps6211 I can totally relate because my giver knew he had it too. Then when I had my initial, extremely severe OB he claimed he didn't have it. This delayed proper diagnosis and treatment for weeks during which I went to the emergency room twice and even had day surgery. Now nearly 2 years later, my giver has finally confessed that he had AN ACTIVE BLISTER when we had sex and I became infected. Mother Fucker. My name might say forgivenessandpeace; it's a goal not my reality.

 

Unfortunately, my Doctor had not tested for HSV when I'd asked for a full screen of STDs prior to getting involved with him so I had no valid baseline to fight with. Don't get me started on the massive failure of our health care system with regard to this issue.

 

Like you, I desire to protect other people from getting this debilitating infection from the giver who clearly doesn't give a damn about spreading his disease. He even claimed he had done me a favor by forcing me to be more chaste. Let's figure out a way to stop these sociopaths and the pain and suffering they spread.

[Nosey Doctors]

@curlyblue I totally get how you feel and although @WCSDancer2010 is right that HIPPA laws should in theory protect your privacy, I know that in FACT such is not the case. I have personally overheard way too much information in dentist offices and GYN offices. I have a friend who is an emergency room nurse who violates HIPPA nearly every time she opens her mouth about work.

 

Here is my approach now when asked about medical history: I write down on the paper: "I don't trust the privacy of these records." When my dermatologist inquired about it, I asked that the assistant leave the room before I discussed it. Am I buying into the shame culture? Maybe. The fact is I have a high profile job and I have been sorely and entirely disappointed with the care I've received from the health lack-of-care industry with respect to my HSV2 infection.

[Was just diagnosed last Thursday ...]

So sorry to hear of your plight. I had a very intense initial outbreak as well, almost 2 years ago now. I didn't have painful urination, I was simply unable to urinate. Twice I was in the emergency room and catheterized. As someone else suggested, a peri bottle with water is useful for bathroom trips with sores. Then air those things out as much as possible and if you have to put undies, go with 100% cotton. Hang in there!