forgivenessandpeace
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Posts posted by forgivenessandpeace
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I had really quite a lot of tingling and itching for the better part of my first year. And yes I found that sex (also with my giver) seemed to bring on the itching and tingling. One time I texted him after, "Did you give me herpes again?" ha.
Eventually it did calm down. My second year 2014 has seen only 3 outbreaks (I just recently started suppressive acyclovir) and a few weeks of prodromes including one memorable weekend of really sore aching lower back and legs. I spent the whole weekend with a heating pad. Now I suffer more the stigma and anxiety around disclosure to a potential new partner, should I ever get so lucky.
PS My giver was in touch with me again last night wanting to "see" me. For the longest time I continued to have sex with him because, well who else could I be with? No more. I'm better off alone for now. I wished him the best and told him that I forgave him for everything. Unbelievable how good I felt this morning :)
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Thank you @willow. I edited. Is that correct now?
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I feel like if he says he's negative and won't show me documents, he's lying though lol.
Agreed.
I know it's perhaps childish but I wanted an admission from my giver. He lied about it and I just wanted the courtesy of finally, the truth. Pfffttt. Right. It didn't change anything anyway.
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That was a beautiful post @sickoflifelessons. Thank you for taking the time to share all that. I think you hit the nail on the head with
Now, I have it, and I feel all the fear everyone else does. I have had (and am still having) a hard time accepting it as part of my life. A lot of this stems from the social stigma but also (and probably more so) from the fact that I didn't have any say whatsoever in whether or not I got it. I was responsible and committed to someone, but he cheated relentlessly and I wound up with this. That sucks, because that's a relationship that did a lot of damage to me emotionally, and I wish I had never had it...not because of the herpes, but because of the guy who treated me badly.
You need to post the story of your disclosure followed by sex one hour later in the success stories section, I love that! I know you're in a dark place now but I hope you'll treat yourself with as much open-minded loving compassion as your treated your patients at the clinic!
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@Newlook2013 I don't think it is overly optimistic to expect that an effective HSV2 vaccine will appear on the market in the near future. A vaccine is not a cure. VERY different. For me, it's just as good, maybe even better because we are smart creatures as you say, we can prevent others from suffering from this, physically, emotionally, everything.
http://chealth.canoe.ca/channel_section_details.asptext_id=1364&channel_id=1020&relation_id=8287
We already have a chickenpox vaccine. Chickenpox is Human HerpesVirus 3 (HSV2 is human herpesvirus 2). Mono is human herpes virus 4. Like Dancer said, this virus family has been around a long time.
PS I didn't read your statement as arrogant at all. Maybe mine seems arrogant too.
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Gosh well you've disclosed, your partner is educated, and "He wants to continue to have sex as we've always done" ... so ... go for it woman! You're probably minimally contagious if at all. You've done all the right things. Please, for the sake of all of us who cannot, go make love to that man!
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I have no experience with this so I'm afraid I can't be of much help. It sure is frustrating when the docs cannot figure out what's wrong, isn't it?
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Wow, I wouldn't mind being HSV2+ if I never had symptoms. Haha. Did you find it distressing to learn you "had it" nonetheless? One researcher, Bill Halford, has written that 80% of people who test positive do not exhibit symptomatic disease. Seems like your immune system was able to put that pesky virus in it's place at the time you were exposed, that's awesome!
Best of luck with the baby-making :)
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Excellent point @Cynthia!
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Although my initial outbreak was extreme, now two years in I rarely go to blisters. Last time I felt it coming on, I started acyclovir and that stopped it in its tracks. I cannot say I can correlate stress to my outbreaks. Sometimes I feel like I'm in one continual prodrome battle. Lately, I've gotten away from trying to figure it out actually. I don't know why the virus flares up when it does so I just deal with whatever comes my way. What I have much more control over is the mental anxiety side of h. I've found that focusing on effectively and constructively managing my anxiety is the best way I can take care of myself right now.
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Awww Dazed, so sorry you're feeling this way. You're certainly not alone. I'd encourage you to hang around here more often! There are some really inspiring people who have struggled and been down like you, and slowly they turn around, meet someone they really like, suffer all kinds of angst leading up to disclosure, and then their partners accept them, and that can happen to you, too. You are so much more than h+.
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When I went to the ER because I could not pee, I was also led down the UTI path. What were others' symptoms that had doctors thinking Urinary Tract Infection rather than Sexually Transmitted Infection?
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My VERY BEST FRIEND (h- with an hsv2+ gf) made a similar slip saying, well the context is complicated but these are the words he said to me OUT LOUD on the phone: "She's got herpes, nobody is gonna want her now". I quoted it back to him via text with a sad face. He was beside himself embarrassed. I'm not gonna lie, that hurt. Then we joked about it.
Hell it doesn't keep him from banging his girlfriend and she's had it for 6 years now. He has never had an outbreak and his latest test (about a year ago now) was still negative.
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I would **like to drown myself in alcohol sometimes but my body just can't take it anymore: I feel like CRAP in the am, or in the pm if I started drinking for breakfast so... yeah that's not helpful. Actually during an ob I have oddly very little desire to drink (side effect of h? I'll take it :)
Anyhow, I AM pursuing ANTI-ANXIETY treatment. Yup, I treat my skin infection with acyclovir, and L-Lysine and other things like hydrogen peroxide as necessary. I'm also going to treat my anxiety under the supervision of a medical doctor. I will try whatever she recommends until I find something that works for me.
I get those pains in my legs too. A heating pad provides some nice relief I've found.
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So you've never had an outbreak? Maybe you never will :) I read from researcher Bill Halford that of 100 people who are hsv2+, 80 have no symptoms like you, 15 have mildish symptoms, and only 5 have frequent outbreaks. I know there is such a thing as asymptomatic shedding but if you've never presented with the disease symptoms, I wonder if you even shed much virus at all.
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You are doing amazing. It might be the stigma you're suffering from, or your body being a bit run down since that immune system has been working overtime, or likely a combination of the two. This is a temporary crappy time. You will bounce back.
I did the same thing with the photo. Freaked out my kids might end up finding it or something. My goal is to tell them. I want to warn them before they go to college!
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i just hope they are reaching out an continually working on their thinking an their feelings an seeing themselves as one day loving themselves including their herpes.
I am indeed working on my thinking and my feelings (much easier when anxiety is under control!) and I LOVE your image of loving yourself including your herpes. I have a visual of me reaching down and hugging all those little herpster critters hiding out in my sacral nerve: "awww come here you little guys let's have a big group hug!"
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@PositivelyBeautiful @lasko you two are an inspiration. I must do better.
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Wow, what a thing for your therapist to say! I'm glad you were able to take something positive from the experience and come out even stronger in the end :)
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@Yadira I'm so glad to hear you have a very wonderful sex life (that is my GOAL, I'm talking to you Universe).
Do you have outbreaks? Do you have prodromes? Are you superwoman? ;-)
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@riverstyx And how did you feel when you got the final, definitive result that you are h-?
Were you relieved?
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I don't understand why health care providers don't counsel people better. Why do they even call a test result under 3.5 positive? Why don't they just say "inconclusive" or "compromised" when this happens and retest?
Also, there is the question of people who test h+ but have NEVER had an outbreak. Are they contagious? Ever? It's exasperating how little accurate info we have.
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I'm sorry to hear your hopes were dashed :(
One of the first sites I came across after I was diagnosed indicated the initial outbreak is the worst and then subsequent outbreaks are typically less severe and less frequent. This tends to set an expectation so when real life departs from that script, it can be... upsetting.
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I commend you. Months after my first outbreak, my partner admitted to having an active herpes blister when we were together for my birthday in 2012. When I started having symptoms, severe symptoms, 4 days later, he denied anything. This delayed my diagnosis. Am I responsible? Yes, insofar as it was consensual sex. Have I experienced a lot of anger around this? Absolutely. Anger directed toward him. Anger directed toward myself.
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I have herpes. So why would a man choose me?
in General herpes discussion
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Hugs to you @Lisa :(