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Sorry to butt in, great blog post, brill info. I have a question, hope you can shed some light. What about asymatic (think thats the wrong word, but youll know what I mean) shedding, I.e. no symptoms but you could pass it on. So this got me thinking if I had facial herpes, but dont show symptoms, could I shed from a friendly pek on the cheek. This is hugely common in latin america, and havent given this point any thought until now. Gracias!

@anonemess , thanks for those words. Much appreciated. @forgivenessandpeace , again great words, thanks for sharing. the physical part, I am dealing with, it seams im lucky enough to have mild outbreaks, yes a little uncomfortable at times, but from what ive read im fortunate. I did have a little epiphany yesterday, I was blaiming my drunken mistake and getting h, on what seemed to me to be a ruined life, but it occurred to me, a fews prior to getting h, I was panicked about the future, ive been travelling for a year, and the future of going back home, and figure out what the hell I was going to do, was a scary thought. Its a littlebackward, but I took some comfort in that I was a little worried about the future anyways, human nature, the fear of the unknown. I started to break down this challenge, into bits, im not ready to date anyone yet, I dont think I could confidently have a disclosure talk, it would be a train wreck. But like any chalkenge, little by little.... im going to practice disclosure talks with some close friends in new zealand, and treat them as kind of date situations, so I get used to talking about the subject, in the comfort that they are my friends. Depending on any possible dating situations, ill try both usual internet dating services and h services. Im totally on board with ardal and others advice about this is limiting the dating pool to 10%, but I think this could be a useful tool into the road of dating again. yesterday I had a very positive day, I did almost cry in public, but managed to shake that off,quickly and try to stay positive. I just need to learn to remember and focus on the ideas that make it manageable. how do you eat a H-elephant?..... little by little

After re-reading my post I want to add.... one night stands dont do much for me, I much prefer to spent time with partner, and getting to know what they like, its a much more rewarding experience, rather than wham bam thank you mam.

As a guy, recently diagnosed, I am battling with the same emotions. At 29, I had only recently had any luck with girls, not one night stands as they dont really mean anything, but some special times with new female friends whilst ive been travelling around south america. I finally had some game, probably the gringo amoungst the latinos, but this did my confidence the world of good, but now thats completely gone, to the point that I struggle to get excitted about exploring a new part of the world....I know how stupid that is, but I still cant keep my mind off h, and how any girl will want to be with me in the future. I wasnt fully sure on having kids, but the complications of potentially giving this to my partner and the rest that goes along with it, makes me now want it....how crazy is that. this im afraid isnt really answering any of your questions, like other people have brilliantly done, but to let you know guys with h, have the exact same problem.

Yes, but from your great info on testing it didnt seem to add up. She got tested again and it came back negative. So think your right about the source of this life altering thing. im going to look elsewhere in a second, but has anyone got any tips on processing this, because its eating me up. Im still traveling around south america, and I should be experience these cool things, which I am, but I dont think iv had an hour where I havent thought about h, and how iv drunkenly done this to myself. I feel like im living a nightmare, I have a few blissful moments after I wake up and I think its a dream, but then memories of getting diagnosed kick in and the cycle starts again. I was having a few red spots and wasnt sure if it was a new outbreak or not, but now im pretty sure iv had a few minor outbreaks, no doubt this cycle of stess is bringing it on. Thanks for advice for womens birth. I need to read up on how men with h can make babies, as to me there a big risk of giving h to the mother during conception, and iv read that is bad for the baby as the babies antibodies wont have developed, as the mothers wont have, plus of course ive given it to the mother, which sucks. I realise that this is not on the cards at the moment but this is all part of the crazy cycle thats going on in my head. thanks for any words of wisdom people can provide.

Hello, 29 male recently diagnosed after a foolish drunken night. I would really like a guy around late 20s early 30s to chat to. currently travelling, I was just starting to get some confidence with women, as previous to 2 years ago had no clue when it came to dating, this thing is now a big set back. have some questions, would be great if someone could help. Thanks guyd

So the majority of the blksters have gone, but a day ago I started to put cream on as it looked like new blisters. Just bought some new tablets going to start to take another 5 day course to see if it gets rid of them completely. so quite a big update, my peruvian girl got her blood results back today, and shes positive type 2, and doctors say since around two months, before we got together... so this surprised me as from my brief research and peoples help on here, hsv cant be tested until after 4 months? What do you think? weve only spoke by txt and a phone call, were meeting tomorrow face to face. She says shes only had relations with me, but what we know so far says otherwise, im not judging as it doesnt sound like she has symptoms, but has recently started having pain in her back, any ladies had simular problems? Im slightly releaved as im thinking now she unknowingly gave it to me, rather than a drunken hook up I previously thought. I have no memory of that night, just that 4 days , after I find a rash. I realise that possibly a drunken hook up may have happened, but part of me is more relaxed as I had a lurking fear about hiv, and id need to get that retested in 6 months. Guess well never know, the true story, as is the most cases, and it doesnt change anything, I would like to know which strain I have sooner rather than later, and the clinic she went to seems to be able to tell the type and how long youve had it. What do you guys think. ill help her as much as I can with the info I know, who gave it to who, isnt going to change anything. I have read conflicting info for ladies, can someone help... Uk charity website for herpes says if a woman has hsv before concieving she can give birth naturally, as the body will develop antibodies of the mother. however other websites mainly american say that its very advisable for a c section. I wont discuss this with her initially as it might be too much, and maybe peru have a different idea any way. thanks for the support guys

Hi dancer, thanks for post. Yes I understand shes upset, I messed up big time. We spoke yesterday and it was pretty upsetting, she said some pretty heavy stuff, that I probably needed to hear. my tablets of aciclovir have finished, 25 tabs, 5 day course. Should I still use the cream. Whats the difference, what does the cream do? What do the tablets do? Thanks for info on new zealand. Much appreciated. Had a better day today, had a much needed distraction with friends. Thanks to everyone that had posted.

Got diagnosed 2 days ago, this is a really positive story I needed to hear. Thanks for sharing.

Hi guys, ivoryrain, thanks for the message, sounds like you have a great partner, hope I can find someone as sympathetic in the future. as if my day couldnt get anyworse my dad messaged me to say my nanna passed away a few hours ago, an hour later im skyping with the famiky balling my eyes out, as im already pretty emotional. Possibly one of the worst days of my life. My peruvian girlfriend has been supportive but has finished things with me, I dont blame her, but im now realising how much I liked her... what a mess. so yes last few days have been a bit much, but I was so anxcious about telling her I had to disclose it was eating me up inside. Thanks for the advice guys, it seems under control, I have a few maybe 5 red spots on my dick, should I still apply the cream or leave it and see how my body reacts? Likely another outbreak as im pretty stressed at the moment, bit of a viscous circle really. ill read some more things on this site, day at a time I guess. can you imagine not having a resource such as the internet and trying to get your head around a diagnosis such as this? also I think they do a blood test here in peru so its not going to show up. The test needs to be from a swob of a blister right? Ill be in new zealand in december maybe ill get checked out there for second opinion and better medical services.

So, I dont exactly know how I got it, im usually very careful, but two weeks ago with a friend we got blind drunk and I think I may have had unprotected sex, as around 4 days later I had a rash on my penis, I left it a few days hoping it would clear up, it didnt so went to the doc. I should point out im in peru, currently on a career break. We prescribes meds and get bloods done for the big 4 stis, hiv hep b, syphilis and chlamyidia, 3 days later collect the results all are negative. I had convinced myself it was syphilis, my outbreak wasnt as painful as described, and also had flu symptoms. I had read syph can be cured with peneclin, not this life long thing herpes is. I havent had any tests to confirm herpes, but with the prescribed meds its calmed down alot. Iv finished a course of 200mg of 5 days, and still using the cream. That drunken night I will regret for my entire life, and I dont remember 3 hours of it. I was coping ok, treating it as something you just have to control, until I did my first disclosure last night. I had been seeing a local girl for a few weeks, and she was away for a 2 weeks when I had my stupid drunk night. I am so ashamed of this. I explained I had found this and went to the doctor and he visual diagnosed it as herpes. She asked if it has harmful, I explained what I knew, then she got angry asking why I didnt tell her sooner, I was hardly going to do this in a text or over the phone, and wanted to wait until I knew more. I can cope with the outbreak, it seems my first wasnt as bad as some people describe, its this disclosure which has turned me into a sobbing wreck, im hungry but I dont want to eat, I think about how stupid I have been, in nearly every thought. Ive cried 3 times today. If a girl that knew me pretty well, and was really into me responded as she did, which I totally understand, as If it were the other way round id be lieing if I said id walk away, id be too scared to risk my health. Probably because I knew little about herpes, but even when I know a little more im still not sure I would take the risk. I cant imagine anyone wanting to be with me once I disclose in the future. The thought has brought me to tears already, nearly in the supermarket today. Im currently in bed with little energy for anything, other than self loathing, which I know is a bad thing, but I just cant shake it off. one positive is all of this was in spanish, so I guess I can take sone happiness my spanish has improved. specific questions id like help with... is the first outbreak always the worse? do people take tablets and meds nearly all the time or usually around an outbreak. please share some disclosure stories one other thing, using abbreviations likeOB can be confusing for someone coming on here forthe first time, took me a while to figure out it was outbreak. Hope you dont mind observation, this is a reallygreat resource, I can see people are very supportive. thank you