Who

anyone from south florida that would like to chat that would be awesome, 28/M .. looking for friends that I could potentially meet one day

Hello everyone, First thanks for welcoming me to your forums, as I think it will be very beneficial speaking to others in my position. Almost a year ago to the day I was in a relationship which I thought was going to be long lasting. We had been having unprotected sex for quite some time with no issues. Until one day we were going pretty rough and back to back, when I felt a paper cut feeling on my penis. When i withdrew in fact it did look like 2 paper cuts, by the next day it got swollen and never really broke out into blisters so I didn't think much of it just thought it was maybe from friction. Well a few days after that she left me and went back to her ex boyfriend. I was so heart broken the thought of herpes never entered my mind. After a few weeks the area healed and went back to normal, I went back to living normally. Well 5 months later I had a recurrence in the same area where now 2 defined sores were present. I sent some photos to a doctor on just answer.com and he told me from what he saw it looked to be an 80% chance of it being herpes. I don't know if i was in denial at the time because even then I really didn't think much of it. Well just this past september I had yet another recurrence in the same spot now with 3 sores present. Now is when it started to sink in that something serious is happening and I started doing tons of research. To this day i still haven't gone to a doctor to get diagnosed or treated, but I'm a realist I know what I have. There really isn't much else that can mimic this condition especially when you have recurrences in the same spot. Well i'll be honest and say that I'm scared to visit the doctor and potentially find out I have something else along the lines of hiv or something. I plan on remaining abstinent until I build the courage to visit a doctor. Its so revolting to me that a girl who told me she loved me could bring this sort of thing into my bedroom without even allowing me to assess the risk, not saying it would've changed the way i felt about her but we could've done something where my risk was held to a minimum. To this day I haven't told anyone about my condition, not because i fear judgement but because I don't want to be labeled as the person with H. I haven't even had the courage to call my ex and tell her what she's gifted me with. Like i said its been a year but now is when everything is becoming a reality to me. Im not afraid of being alone as i know there are sites for dating with H, but its like I'm limiting my potential partners to other who have this condition. I would never want to risk anyone getting this from me as it would be just another check in the guilt column for me. And the thought of disclosing to a woman who doesn't have this condition is beyond terrifying. Unfortunately here in south florida its hard enough to find an understanding woman, and to find one that understands to that extent seems non existent. I had enough trouble dating without this condition. All I've ever wanted was to get married, have kids, and be with someone who is more old fashioned and willing to make a relationship long lasting instead of the pick up and go types. Ive never been a player, have been in a constant search for true love my entire life and now it seems like that won't happen. I just hope talking to some of you and hearing your stories and advice might help me look at this in a different light. To anyone who takes the time to read this I thank you, and may God bless you all who are dealing with this situation.