Who

What is sliding scale?

I know the online percentage is small, at the moment it's all I have. Not ready to disclose to someone that does have H. Either way my entire life I've been a quiet guy, I've always used the Internet to meet my past girlfriends. I've been in 2 relationships and I'm 28, unfortunately the last one left me a broken heart and some H. i thought it was friction, she broke up with me just a few days after this happened. i never told her what I was going through because what i thought was a friction burn turned out to be the initial outbreak. I still haven't told her to this day. I still haven't physically been diagnosed only visually online. point is I've spent most of my life single. I wouldn't want to feel singled out, I want someone who emotionally knows what I'm dealing with so we can be there for each other. So I will keep trying until I find the right one. I'm working on making the best version of myself, getting into shape, cut way down on smoking, eating healthy, etc. and hoping one day I can find a beautiful, intelligent, exquisite woman who also has H. Within the community is where I want to be, I believe God has a plan for all of us. And I'm in this position for a reason. The way I think about relationships has completely changed since I've realized I have H. Before they seemed very dispensable, now with H I'm looking for a life partner and would cherish a relationship a lot more then before. I'm sure a lot of people the same way when they're diagnosed. Two people who share the same condition, feel the same way about finding a life partner. In my opinion sure I might be reducing my dating population, but I'm raising the success rate by reducing my dating world to people who really want something long term due to having H.

@WCSDancer2010 - thanks for clearing that up... i was wondering because i would like to date someone who also shares the same condition but not if it means my condition will worsen. Ive had it for over a year now so I'm sure the antibodies are plentiful. @ihaveittoo - Thanks for the insight really appreciate you taking the time to share your experience. I seem to only get outbreaks after friction so I know exactly what your talking about

Ok. I have tried getting as much info on this subject as possible but never seem to get a clear answer if anyone know can you please help. Say I met someone that I decide to be in a relationship with, if we have the same type of genital herpes will either of us begin to develop sores on areas that we didn't have them before? I only get it on the lower side of the shaft but would I start getting blisters in other spots due to having sexual relationship with someone who has the same type? Does that only happen if you're having sex during an outbreak? Just would like some clarity on the matter

@beachdude1984 - I couldn't have said it better myself. Very well put. The way I feel exactly

music is a great mental tool... Being an audio recording engineer my passion for music is deep rooted

You're definitely right, which is why I'm on a path where hoping the next person I get involved with will be because I see a real long term future. No exceptions.

John, what these insightful women are telling you is the absolute truth. Life goes on brother, we all have battle scars. some days will be tough but in the end you will come out a stronger and more open minded person. If you see the sunrise it's a new day and a new opportunity to make the best version of yourself. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me dude.

I completely agree that's why we disclose but say I was with someone negative and she got it from me even after being safe. If I wanted out of the relationship it would be that much harder and would leave me with so much guilt

Just wanted to wish all you great people a happy thanksgiving. Be thankful for the good things we have in life. Friends, family, and health. Remember that things can always be a lot worse. This thanksgiving I'm more thankful then ever just to be alive and have an amazing family. Happy holidays guys! Gobble Gobble

Just wanted to wish all you great people a happy thanksgiving. Be thankful for the good things we have in life. Friends, family, and health. Remember that things can always be a lot worse. This thanksgiving I'm more thankful then ever just to be alive and have an amazing family. Happy holidays guys! Gobble Gobble

I know I'm worthy of love, I'm not throwing a pity party. Just wouldn't want someone to blame me for it. I know the right one would take the risk for me, but I also look at it like maybe the right person for me all along is h positive and maybe that's why I'm in the position im in. Everything in life happens for a reason

I guess it's easy to think the worst when you're on your own side of the fence. But again I just wouldn't want someone to be with me and be afraid every time we got intimate, I think sharing the condition with someone would be beneficial considering both would know what each other is going through and feeling. To me it seems a lot better that way and to have to put a condom On each and every time I want to get intimate with my woman is crazy in my opinion. I want kids, what would my partner say then? I know I'm cutting out a lot of the population by only dating in the community, but dating outside of the community got me in this mess in the first place so maybe someone who is also h positive would have a bit more compassion for the relationship between the 2 of us..

Ok that's understandable... But what I'm really pointing towards is genital H.. But thanks for the input inka

I'm an H positive male but almost every success story I hear is about a negative male accepting a positive woman. To me it seems a lot easier for women to find a negative partner that is accepting. I can't speak for everyone of course, but I honestly don't see any woman (especially in my region- south Florida) being able to look passed the condition. I'm not the type to think I will always be alone, but I feel like I should strictly date within the community now. I also wouldn't want a negative partner to always be worried about their own health because of me. If anyone has any insight that would be awesome. Again I'm not posting out of depression just curiously.

Don't ever feel unwanted, or disgusting. I know it's difficult but al of us here know single handedly what you're going through. It seems like a never ending black hole but eventually you will feel better and come to terms with the condition. All of us here are not disgusting or dirty, we are a group of people who unfortunately have come to a bump in the road. It's just a skin condition and as time goes by you will realize that. There's nothing any of us can do to change the reality of it so you have to make the best of your situation. You are still the same great person you were before.

I'm sorry but pong, donkey kong, and pac man are the reason video games are even relevant. I'm in the younger group but if I had a chance I would definitely play those games lol.

You are an adult and can make adult decisions for yourself but honestly if someone did that to me I would leave it alone. The way someone treats you in the beginning is a good indication of where their heart is. You can't really expect things to progress from that. If someone says one thing and does another, that will continue to be the case. That's my realistic view on it anyways. I'm a male and if a woman did something like that I'd tell her to kick rocks.

@ShaeShae - Glad to see you already know who they are! I first heard dallas green when he was in a band called alexisonfire (pretty heavy rock). I see you like the band called Bon Iver i honestly never heard of them, but i was literally just now watching the movie "the judge" heard a song and loved it, looked it up and it was Bon Iver. I was like holy crap someone literally just mentioned that a while ago lol... seems like we have music taste in common.

@ShaeShae - If your into that kind of music i would definitely recommend City and Colour. My all time favorite band, actually just went to see them perform a few weeks ago here in florida for the first time. Unfortunately, i was dealing with an OB at the time but it didn't stop me and I still had a blast. Definitely helped getting the H off my mind for a few hours while there.

ive had this condition for just over a year now. I have never taken any medication whatsoever. the only treatment I've done was ibuprofen during the initial outbreak and try to take lysine tablets when i have a recurrence. Usually takes about 10-12 days between start to healed. I have also never been to a doctor to get properly diagnosed (thats an entirely separate issue, due to crippling fear of getting tested for other stds) but at this point even when i do muster up the courage to go to a doctor and get diagnosed, i think i will refuse the medication. I almost feel like my body will learn to fight it on its own.

I would say you're not alone... In 1 year I've had 3 ob's (including initial) and they all seem to have shown up a day after sex. I really do hope it gets better because that would be insane if that was the main trigger.

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@shaeshae- I can totally relate to what you're feeling. I'm a male but the mere thought of not having the courage to disclose and possibly be alone as a result of that is terrifying. It's really hard this time of year because it's all about family and happiness. Right now I don't have much happiness but I do have my family (mom, dad,sister) but I'm only getting older and want a family of my own to share the holidays with. As days go by I have highs and lows just as all of us do. What really kills me is thinking about being in my 80's and having to deal with an outbreak, like how do fragile elderly deal with this sort of thing? Makes me feel like life has a cap on it. But again we have to be strong for your family, friends, and most importantly yourself. Life throws curve balls at us and this is one of them. We are still the people we were the day before diagnosis or initial outbreak. It sucks I know I'm going through so serious emotional lapses but we can never give up hope. I Google gen 003 everyday to see if there are any advances in a possible vaccine or cure. Keeping my fingers crossed but can't rely on that. Make the moves in life you want to make and hope for the best is all we can do. If you need to talk more feel free i look forward to speaking to as many of you as possible, I need to vent also. Nobody knows about my condition so I'm bottling a lot.

@threelittlebirds- sorry to hear your situation was similar to mine. before this happened I've never even thought about stds with my partners. I always thought it was something that promiscuous people get. I now know first hand that definitely isn't the case. It's sad and it's so hard to build courage to face the reality of it, but thank you for your words. I really appreciate it and I will be continuing writing on this forum and making new friends within the community. @inka- it's very important to get to a doctor again problem is I'm beyond afraid of finding out more news then what I expect. Life these days seem filled with unwanted surprises. I know the right one would accept me for me and I'm confident she's out there somewhere, I'm just afraid Ill never find her. But you and the previous commenter are very sweet and seem like you really are trying to make a difference in these people's lives. Keep up the good work, I will do the same and offer an ear or advice to anyone who is looking for such.