nat87

@Elise I’m so sorry that you’re having a rough go of it, but I promise it DOES get better. It gets so much better. It’s amazing that you have your sister to support you ❤️ I disclosed my status to my friends and my family and their support in my diagnosis and my breakup were my saving grace. Try to keep your chin up, it’ll be tough for a while but time will heal. You did a really brave thing leaving a relationship that wasn’t right for you, you should be REALLY proud of yourself. Feel free to message me if you ever want to chat!

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here, but I want to share my story as this forum gave me hope in my darkest days following my diagnosis. Stories, like the one I’m about to share, helped me to know that there’s life after herpes when it felt like my life would never be the same. I was diagnosed in April 2015 after I had unprotected sex with the person I was in a relationship with. We had only been dating two months and about 10 days after our first unprotected encounter, I had my first (and worst) outbreak. When I told my partner he didn’t seem concerned, worried, etc - which was odd to me, but it’s ultimately irrelevant. I was crushed after my diagnosis, I had always been so careful and now I felt like my world was ending. I continued on with my relationship even though I knew from the start that there were major incompatibility issues/red flag. Namely, the person I was with had somewhat of a drinking problem. But he treated me well and he happily accepted me after my diagnosis. I convinced myself that dealing with the things that were wrong with the relationship would be easier/better than dealing with herpes and dating. I spent THREE years convincing myself. Our relationship progressed and we began talking about marriage. There was always a nagging feeling that I deserved better, it wasn’t all bad, but it definitely wasn’t right. But each time that nagging feeling, I quickly pushed it to the back of mind, reminding myself again that being in this relationship would be better than dealing with Herpes and dating. Right around the 3 year mark the drinking got out of control and I became very unhappy and depressed, I could no longer ignore the truth that I deserved better so I finally made the decision to leave my partner. After my breakup I was in a very bad way. Second guessing my decision, dealing with the anger of having herpes. To top things off my ex texted me at one point saying that he got tested again and it came back negative, the doctor said his symptoms could be attributed and an ingrown hair or pimple. I was so angry that he went on living his normal life despite having seen his obvious symptoms with my own eyes. I’m almost certain that he was my giver, but again it’s irrelevant as it doesn’t change my diagnosis. I didn’t date for months as I was trying to heal from my relationship. I was also very scared of putting myself out there and having to have ‘the talk’. I always believed dating was hard enough and having to disclose H on top of that would be impossible. After 8 months I got up the courage to start dating again. I reluctantly joined a dating app, 3 days later I was going on a date with one of my matches. I was prepared for it to fail miserably. But that night I met the most wonderful man, we hit it off immediately. We hung out everyday for a week and things progressed quickly. After a week of dating I disclosed my status - not eloquently, I might add. Things were a little weird for a few days as he considered this information, but after a few days his response was that he felt that it would be a huge mistake to write off our budding relationship because of my diagnosis. That was one year and two months ago. One month ago, the love of my life proposed to me and we’re getting married next October! I have never been happier! I wanted to share this story with the forum because the people here were a huge source of support when I needed it. I’m sharing this as more proof that a herpes diagnosis isn’t the end of dating, when you find the right person, your diagnosis won’t stop you from being together ❤️

Thank you for the response. I told him and obviously he was hurt and anxious and we won’t be continuing our relationship. I obviously understand and am so angry at myself for not dealing with this appropriately. This was my first disclosure and I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so hurt when this happened to me, I don’t know how I could have put someone else in my same position. I feel like an awful person. I knew that I had to tell him before we had sex but I was naive in thinking it’d be ok to mess around before telling him. I feel like a dirtball of a person. I’ll never make this same mistake again.

Quick Backstory: I was diagnosed with HSV2 almost exactly 3 years ago. I was dating my giver, I found out 2 months after we started dating, we continued our relationship for 3 years but recently broke up for reasons unrelated to HSV. So now I’m dating again and facing my first disclosure. I met someone a week ago and we have hung out 4 times in the last week. Until last night we had only kissed. I hadn’t planned on getting physical until we had the talk. Last night we messed around, ‘hand stuff’ only if you will. Now I’m super anxious and feel really guilty. I know you’re supposed to disclose before any sexual activity, I know I messed up. Obviously nothing else will happen until we talk. I really like this guy and feel like it could go somewhere. Have I totally messed up? Anyone else have a similar experience? Advice on moving forward?

So encouraging to hear this! I just ended a 3 year relationship with the person who gave me H. I’m not ready to start dating yet, but the thought of dating with H always gives me anxiety. Honestly, it’s part of the reason I stayed in my last relationship as long as I did, even though my gut was telling me he wasn’t the one for me. People in my life tell me that I’m ‘such a catch’, and I often think ‘well you don’t know about my H secret’. Reading all the success stories on this site are helping me see that you can date successfully with H. Thanks for sharing!

Hello, I'm 28 years old (female) and was diagnosed with herpes 2 days ago. I am devastated and have no idea how I will move forward with my life. II would really like a buddy to talk to. Gender doesn't matter but it would be great if my buddy lived in Maryland (as I live here). Please reach out to me if you are intersted in being my buddy.

Hello all, I was diagnosed with herpes two days ago. I am devestated. I'm in a relationship for the first time in 7 years and my partner didnt know he had herpes, he's never had an outbreak. For the last two days all I've been able to do is cry. I can't believe this is happening to me, my life feels like its over, how will I live with this disease forever? Today has been really hard, I came back to work for the first time since my diagnosis. I don't know how I will make it through the day... my chest is burning and I feel like I'm constantly on the verge of a panic attack. I can't think about anything else and it feels like my life will never feel normal again. I feel like I have lost all motivation and I don't care about anything anymore. I am in a very dark place and can't see the light. My boyfriend is trying to be supportive but he doesn't seem to be taking it as hard as me. What if it doesn't work out with him? My greatest fear is that I'll never find someone to be with. I'm 28 and I want to get married and have a family, and now that feels like it'll never happen for me. I really need to talk to someone who's been through this.