Roro

I recently disclosed to a friend about my herpes, and he told me he was diagnosed as HIV+ about a year ago. He said he had been scared about disclosing his status but that it immediately lets you know if that person is someone you would even want in your life- it lets you know who that person really is. He said his partner needed a beat to process but really cared for him and wanted to continue the relationship because my friend is so great. I haven't disclosed to any potential partners yet- I was diagnosed almost two months ago but haven't been ready to date yet since I'm still dealing with the information and educating myself. But his words helped me, so I hope they help you too. We all deserve love and respect, and if this person cares for you, then they will want to continue loving you. No matter what.

This particular thread has been really helpful to me. I was diagnosed just about a month ago and have been intimately acquainted for ten years with the person who gave it to me. I was obsessed, I mean OBSESSED, with getting him to take responsibility for weeks after I was diagnosed, but he refuses. We texted and talked constantly, during which time he went back and forth between "I'm sorry" and "it wasn't me." Then he just stopped talking. Then i obsessed with "how could he treat me this way after everything we had together?" I continued to obsess and txt and call him for days. And then I realized he will never give me the conversation I want, and even if he did, it won't change the fact that I have herpes. And now im starting to realize and grieve over the truth of what the relationship meant to him even though i loved him to my soul. I got on this support forum a week or so ago, and it has been amazingly helpful in beginning a healing journey for me. At night, when I'm beating myself up with the "what ifs" and "whys" I just login and start reading and writing. In many ways, everyone here has been my accepting friend, therapist, caregiver. I've been in therapy and am so grateful I also have an amazing doctor who is compassionate, knowledgeable, and allows me to cry on her table over the last few weeks since my OB, blood tests, and positive diagnosis. I have a best friend whom I told and who has been my angel. Keep talking. Keep feeling the emotions. We're all on the same ride, my friend. It can change me for the better- I believe that thanks to the people here in this forum. The only way to get through it is to keep pushing THROUGH it. Sending all of you positive thoughts for a restful night and a beautiful day tomorrow!

Thank you for this story. I was just recently diagnosed and it's reassuring that there can be a light at the end of what seems like a very long tunnel

@gr8fulheart You are so right. I'm looking forward to the day my heart catches up with my head. :( <3 <3 <3

This totally resonates with me. I feel like it's always going to be something I have to live with now that it will always remind me of the pain. I believe it when people say time will help, but every night when I'm lying here all I can think about is why does he get to go on living like everything is great and I'm in so much pain. It's just hard. But that's when I get on this forum and take comfort in the kindness of people like you who share with me. It is comforting and I appreciate you!

@StillMeButWiser THANK YOU SO MUCH for your words, your kindness, your honesty, for everything you said here. This is EXACTLY how I've been feeling, like I was just garbage to him! Ten years of being there for him and this is how he treats me? all while having to deal with the feelings that come with the outbreak and diagnosis! I do believe he's run away from me because he feels guilty and this is his way of just avoiding his own feelings of guilt and responsibilities. I believe you when you say I will heal with time, and there will be someone else for me because I believe I am loveable. I am so sorry to hear about everything you went through! And all that during the time of grief from losing your mom! You are so strong! You've helped me so much today!! I appreciate you sharing and helping me deal with all these feelings of grief, anger, betrayal, depression. I feel like in all this at least we can all help each other. Sending you so much love and positive thoughts for your continued healing and good health

Thanks to you all for sharing. I am newly diagnosed, and the person who gave it to me was first blaming me, then in denial, and now is totally ignoring me, posting pics of him and his new girlfriend all over the Internet. I'm so angry and feel so betrayed after ten years with him. It is devastating. And the sleepless nights are the worst! Your words give me comfort. Thank you.

Will I ever stop feeling angry and sad? Every night, alone with my thoughts and feelings, I am so emotional.

Thank you both for these words. Gr8fulheart, I am newly diagnosed, got it exactly the same way- someone I was involved with for ten years who was disloyal. He accused and blamed me, called me names, or outright ignored my attempts to share information. He has never been sorry or acknowledged his actions. Two weeks after i told him i was diagnosed with hsv 2 he asked me when can his other girlfriend expect to get it. !? I feel like an idiot for loving him at all. Thank you for sharing your stories and experiences. Adrial, thank you for your advice and support. This has left me completely devastated and full of rage and sometimes I just don't know how to deal. I have one friend I've told who has been my angel. My doctor is also very supportive. I know one day this will hurt less, and I hope to eventually be able to help others. You two have certainly helped me tonight- one of the many restless nights I've had in the longest month of my life. I also fear the rejection, but knowing we are not alone in this regard is half the battle. I believe I can end up with a person who is amazing- maybe all BECAUSE of this. Otherwise I might have spent another ten years with someone who would be always putting me at physical and emotional risk. I thank you once again for your openness and support. <3