Mom29_818

So I know I need to tell him that I have contracted ghsv1 from my ex boyfriend but I am just sooooo extremely nervous!!! He has been telling me he wants to get married for 3 years already. We had a falling out and it's been hard for me to really reconcile with this relationship but I can't deny that the love is definitely there! I haven't seen him or been physical with him at all. I had our daughter 2 years ago and we had our big falling out. Since then we've only kept contact through letters and phone calls, and I'll allow him to see our daughter. But just recently we've been spending more time together and neither of us can help it that we're so in love with one another! I love him and we talk about everything. I know he will listen and hear me out, but I'm just so scared!! IDK what to say or how exactly to say it. I have already told him that I slept with my ex. He wasn't too happy about it but it is what it is. He's moved on from it now. And he knows that awhile ago I was sick. I got sick during my first OB with the flu and before I knew what it was, I thought it was a UTI. So he knows I was sick, I just haven't said anything since I found out, which was only 2 months ago. I just thought I would have more time to discuss this before we have sex again. But it looks like this might happen again sooner than I thought and I'm scared! He wants to get married for crying out loud!!! I have to tell him, I just don't know how I will ever spit the words out of my mouth! This is still so new to me! I hate feeling like I'm hiding anything from him. It's killing me to keep things like I'm being secretive. I think I'm more nervous than anything and afraid of what he will have to say. I guess if he decides we're through then, what can I do..?.. Just needed to vent.! I appreciate any advice or feedback regarding this. So appreciative for this site!!

@HikingGirl Ive been seeing your comments and posts and I just have to let you know that their very informative and encouraging! you always have alot of sites to visit that have been extremely helpful. Im new here too and have been going on about a week now with this.

Hi everyone. I am a 29 year old, mom of 2 young children, in the L.A. area. I am new to this as I just got my results back 2 days ago! I have genital hsv type 1. I am looking for people to talk to about this, find support, encouragment, and information! I have only told 2 people about this who I knew weren't going to judge me and who would be there for me. I feel like seeing these posts, is giving me much needed hope for the future! As sad and lonely as I am feeling at times, I know my life must go on for my kids, they need me so I'm doing my best to stay busy and remain optimistic however I possibly can. Anyone wanting to talk, would be appreciated. Thanks.

@regularguy thank you for responding. It gives me alot of hope. And I know your absolutely right. I've been spending alot more time with family and so far I've only been able to spit it out to my aunt and cousin who I'm very close to. It's hard to talk about for me and I'm glad that I have found someplace to do so now. I'm barely going to start school again after the new year so that has helped with giving me something to look forward to. I'm trying to remain busy during the day instead of allowing my thoughts and constant worrying consume me. I have received the antiviral medicine. I know as time passes that things will get better. Thats what mostly gets me through the day. Thank you and I really appreciate what u said.!!

@annalove Hello @lostandconfused99 and @wendy711 I am hoping to offer even the slightest bit of encouragement. I am only about 6 months in to my own diagnoses. Writing words like diagnoses and herpes is even still difficult for me. I am 28 and a single female (yahoo!) lol. I have had no real herpes outbreaks. I will have occasional nerve pain in that area. If I notice that I will take antivirals for a couple days. But overall I am not on any medication. You can ask your doctor to prescribe you an antiviral in case of a outbreak. Mine had no issue with that. It gives you a little peace of mind if something does come up, you are prepared. I am still dealing with the dating and disclosure thing myself. I haven’t done it yet but am exploring the dating scene again and am feeling more confident about my future disclosures. One thing i can say if that if either of you are in that mentally exhausting thinking and stressing about herpes all day every day phase...it does get better. I can’t say i don’t think about herpes still every day. It’s on my mind. But it isn’t as emotionally exhausting as it was that first few weeks. After I told a good friend of mine and she disclosed she has it as well, it really transformed in my brain to something less severe. I find myself pretty constantly reminded of people dealing with way worse shit than this. With physical or mental disabilities who would trade places with me in a second to live a more normal life. They face stigmas every day they can’t hide whereas mine is pretty much invisible and I only need to discuss it when I want to get laid lol. For me it has helped to look at it this way. The last thing I will leave you with is that even though I believe it does help to remind yourself it is a simple non life threatening skin condition, it’s alright to feel upset about having to deal with it. Everyone wants to be the picture of health and have no challenges in their way of finding love or relationships. That would be awesome. But unfortunately we ended up in a large (and ever growing) pool of people who have been exposed to herpes. Take some time to re-evaluate what you love, what’s important to you, how you like to spend your time. I wish you guys the best! Please feel free to message me if you want to chat! Thanks for this,

Well I was just recently diagnosed with ghsv1. I had my first OB, 3 days after having sex with an ex boyfriend. I had not been sexually active for a few years so when I seen him again a few weeks ago, I decided i would feel better doing so with someone familiar. A few days later, I was in alot of pain and it was only getting worse. I couldn't take it and went to see the doctor. She took tests and told me that she was almost sure it was Herpes. I cried for days. I feel ashamed, guilty, embarrassed, nasty, afraid, scared, unlovable, angry sad and lonely. And I felt I truly could only blame myself for being so stupid. I feel like there is a big possibility I might end up alone forever, and I won't have anymore children or if I do end up with someone, then my sex life will never be the same, cause I will always be worried about possibly giving it to my partner. Since then I have been researching anything and everything about herpes. I have been so extremely afraid of the possibility of somehow spreading this to my young children as well, taking extra percautions since. I got the results from my test back a few days ago. I feel a bit better than I did at first, but I still feel really worried and very self conscious. I let my ex boyfriend know, even tho he has never had an OB. He says he is gonna go get checked but hasn't really talked to me much since I've let him know. Anyways, I appreciate any feedback or support, or information.