JDH

#optimist, just wondering if you have or know which study shows that 50% of divorced women 40-49 have HSV2? I'd love to have a copy of that one! Thank you!!

SPATX919 - what a great post. I love your lessons learned, what a great way to see the positive in this. As for Positive Singles, I totally understand how you feel Franny. I've only known for 3 months and popped on there to see what my options were. It made me feel so much worse! (But, to be fair, I feel that way about most dating websites) At this point, I've decided that if we were meant to only associate with others like us then surely we would be sent away to some island to start our own colony. Think what a big island that would be. :) I know it's hard for me to imagine ever feeling normal again or finding someone that will accept me and be attracted to me that doesn't have this diagnosis but my research tells me otherwise. I even had one instance of crying uncontrollably with a counselor and telling her that I wished I could find one person that I could talk to that has HSV2 and has gone on to find love and a normal life and she said.....well what about me. Turns out she was diagnosed in college, she was on her second marriage and had 2 kids and neither of her husbands had it or contracted it from her! Just one of many stories I've heard. I think for me, I need to learn to love and accept myself again first. I'm focusing on that for now. If you feel ready, I think you should just try to date as you would without it. Spend time going out and getting to know people. You may find you are much more picky than you were before. If you find the right person, take your time. It's ok to enjoy the process of getting to know someone before you disclose. I try to remind myself that dating involves being rejected, with or without Herpes. It's not the end of the world if it happens, it just means it wasn't the right person for you at the time. Also, I think this gives us an opportunity to slow down the crazy dating game that seems to be 3 dates and then sex. I've never been comfortable with that and certainly won't be now! Hang in there and best of luck to you!

Great Thread! It's good to hear all of the stories of HSV2 positive women not passing it along to their partners. I'm in a relationship and just found out that I have it, (1 month ago) he doesn't. I have only had 2 partners in 6+ years so I feel fairly certain that I got it from my last relationship. I'm very sad. He's being supportive and kind but it's evolving into a friendship. He won't touch me and avoids any intimacy. I think it's becoming worse than just being alone. I share with him these stories I read of discordant couples where the person who is negative never gets it but I don't think he's buying into it. I'm pretty sure once I'm able to make it a day without crying, and he thinks I can survive again, he'll leave me. It really is a terrible feeling. Thanks for all of the positive posts. They do help me try to see a future for myself.

Hi I am newly diagnosed with HSV2. I think my first outbreak was in November but I'm very confused. November was the last time I had intercourse and I had the outbreak about 3 days later. I did not go to the doctor. I had another outbreak in January, I went to the doctor and the swab was positive for HSV2. I've only had 2 partners over the past 6+ years. The man I was with in November was still testing negative through the first of January (last test). My IGG was drawn during a follow up visit this month and came back at 6.68. My question is does this indicate that I've had this longer than 3 months? So confused and sad.