PresentMoment

I'm doing great! I don't even think about my H. I have only had my first primary OB and one case of prodrome symptoms that were uncomfortable. I have not had sex since my diagnosis. I have actually gotten involved in a a fellowship group (not related to H.) I am now on a committee for a conference we are having in August. Going to church. Working out! I am in good shape anyway but getting even better. Feeling hot! I have been flirting with a guy in the fellowship- very fun - we'll see what happens with that!!???

Sadly, I found the sensations only last about 3-4 days so I will not be able to share with a partner unless they are HSV+. I'll just have to enjoy solo!! HeeHeeHe

LoveTheMountains- good luck, hope all goes well!! I postponed the introduction to "quality guy" until April. I felt like I had to work on my H issues before we meet. Doing so much better, I will be ready in April!!

Oops - Sorry Ladies!! I was flipping back and forth on other discussions and posted negatively to the wrong discussion!! This discussion has been very positive. Freya- I would definitely have sex with someone with herpes. I did not have it when approached about the fix up with the Dr. At this point I still would not go out with him because I wouldn't be able to trust that he would disclose other possible STDs.

We are all amazing women - we need to all realize this!! Love you girls! I am here for you - just me know if you need help!!

Optimist - No worries, I am not offended in any way!!! We need to think in the mindset of how we would have felt, prior to diagnosis, to understand how potential partners respond to disclosure. We are a bunch of fucking hypocrites!! Prior to my diagnosis, someone mentioned an eligible single physician to fix me up with. I said "No way, he has Herpes!!" Looking back now that I know so much more, I don't think it was about his diagnosis, but his ethics. Years ago, He slept with two Friends of mine, never disclosed. They found out from rumors, his ex- wife had told others he gave her herpes. Even now having been diagnosed,I would never be with him!! It is about personal integrity. I know over the years I have slept with men with no integrity, but they are my past! Yes - it hurts when someone pulls away after disclosure, but that doesn't make them a bad person. You can throw out all kinds of ratios and percentages of why they should still fuck you! It is not their fault, It's their CHOICE , stop making them out to be the bad guy. Seriously, they should have a choice in their future health. I would have loved to have a choice - because I wouldn't have fucked this guy a second time!! Let's just all think back to our attitude prior to our H diagnosis- give the people in our life time to process. Love who you are and they will love you!!

So I consider myself an episodical promiscuous person, and to be quite honest prior to my diagnosis, I would have probably turned someone away that told me they had H. Unless I felt like they were promising as a long term relationship. I have not made disclosure yet, as I am in my first three months of diagnosis. I am abstaining from sex. When I get to the point of disclosure- I am going to try to remind myself of how I would feel on the other side. It is going to be hard to not have hurt feelings. But seriously, in my past life, pre-H, I would have declined many times. When you talk about a man that has had over 100 sexual experiences, you need to consider that he has had 200 he turned down. I don't want to ever think of my sex life in numbers - I didn't count, but I am sure my number is over 100. So numbers mean nothing- someday, I will find my forever guy!! Don't rate someone on there numbers- eventually we all find our place! L

KindCaring - it has only been one day. I have spent a lot of time researching herpes. Prior to my diagnosis, if someone disclosed to me, I would have taken more than one day to make a decision. He treated you kindly when you disclosed. I think that is all we can ask for. It hurts, even if he doesn't contact you, it just means it isn't right for him. Doesn't mean he is a bad person. I know you need a friend right now, but regardless of whether you move forward in a romantic relationship with this guy, he is probably not the person to confide all the gory details of H. Some of the posts I have read, people don't even announce "I'm having an Outbreak!" They simply say "We can do other things!" I like that!! It doesn't kill the moment. Keeps it sexy with your partner. You will find many friends and a lot of support on this site. Hang in there!! Keep us updated, good luck!

Stayinghappy - I am 50 but can relate. I had my primary OB at the New Year. I had sex with a guy twice in December without a condom, stupid me!! The second time I was infected. But seriously herpes is a skin infection, not fluid, even with a condom I would have probably been infected. The first time was a quicky, but the second, I was ALL over him, For at least an hour!! I would have gotten it regardless! January- mentally I was going to kick H's ass!! February- mentally I was down, angry, horrified by my behavior. I missed work, confronted my giver in a way I am not proud of. March - back to myself!! I even went out with a friend tonight- a guy slipped me a note with his number. Not interested, threw it in the trash - but I am still the sexy lady I was before H!! I didn't graduate college, I am smart in a different way. I started my own business at the age of 26. Many successful years (and more to come!!) a healthy retirement fund, FICO in the 800's, own my own home, my car is paid for, single mom - raised my girl on my own and paying cash for her college!! I am still that amazing woman regardless of H! Adrial is right, H is an Opportunity to approach life in a different way! A friend (doesn't know about my diagnosis) wants to introduce me to a quality guy!! I am going to take it slowly, not jump into bed with him. Maybe this will be my forever guy, maybe I won't be interested in him. Either way, my casual hook-ups are over. Time for real relationships. Before H, I might have fucked this up!! In the past, I jumped into bed too quickly. Not going do that this time!! You sound like you have your life on track - you are going to be just fine. It will take a while. I am now 3 months out and just getting there myself. When I think of everything I have been through in 50 years - herpes is minor!! Allow yourself to grieve a bit, but don't wallow in it. Be hurt, be angry, you deserve that - then face it like you have tackled other obstacles in you life. It will get better, it just takes time!! Sending love to you!!

BlueBerry08 & Sunset - I am so sorry you two are having a difficult time of recovery. I am actually feeling very positive right now. For me, I have my issues then they are gone and I have been just fine!! This is actually really crazy, it doesn't seem to be what most people post, I am having amazing orgasims following an OB or irritation. I have only had my primary OB (at the New Year) then this last week some minor irritation, when pain was gone I used my vibrator, (the first time, I didn't even turn it on.) It is like my lady parts are already sexually stimulated, all of my nerve endings are hyper-sensitive, I am having amazing orgasims, almost instantly!! I am avoiding men at this point, as I am in the first three months of infection. I am hopeful those sensations last beyond the 7 days after OB when I actually start having sex again. Can't imagine how amazing sex will be with another person when I am this hyper-sensitive. I would not risk infecting someone by having sex too soon. I feel weird, no one else is saying this! Could the H - Opportunity be that I have unbelievable orgasims after an OB?? Hopefully you ladies will experience what I have!!

Can't wait to hear about your date!! It will be good for you to get out and enjoy yourself!!

You should have a syphilis test. Syphilis is a bacterial Infection that usually causes just one painless sore. The Infection rate is actually on the rise. Unlike herpes, syphilis has very serious health consequences so you need to have this checked asap!! I would recommend using an online STD testing site.

Yes, I have read the same thing about feminine products. I don't use a douche, just the wash. Hope you are feeling better soon!!

I rang in the New Year with my first outbreak. It was horrible- inside and out, completely covered in sores, even inside the opening of my urethra. After the outbreak cleared, I also had difficulty urinating - starting the flow and also completely emptying my bladder. This lasted at least another week. I used a warm water peri bottle to slowly squirt water over the area. This helped immensely!! No worries, everything returned to normal. I read about this issue and the H virus effects the nerves of the urethra and bladder but it is temporary.

Sunset- that is a really heavy dose!! No wonder you are experiencing so many side effects. I have not had weight gain from the Valacylovir. When I had my primary OB, I found wiping really painful so I used a peri bottle to rinse, then blotted with white wash clothes. I bleached the wash cloths in hot water. I also showered with a pH balanced feminine wash. (Summer's Eve) I ran out and have just been using a shower gel for sensitive skin. This was about the same time I started having my current sensitivity (pretty much over it, no OB.) I am going to go back to the feminine wash and stick with it. Hope you are feeling better!!

After my initial outbreak most of my sensitivity was gone in two weeks. I have had just a few tingles up until 3 days ago. When I had recovered from the first outbreak- I used a vibrator but didn't turn it on. My nerve endings were hyper sensitive but it was not painful. It was actually really really good!! Sunset- are you on 200mg. Or 500mg?

I just checked the Valtrex prescribing information. I am taking too much!! For episodic treatment - 2-500mg tablets per day!!!

I just searched Valtrex side effects, I am having issues as well. I had my first OB the beginning of January. My Dr put me on Valacylovir 500mg. once daily for suppression. No problems with the dose for suppression. I had dry eyes right at the beginning, but that went away. 4 daily at the first signs of prodrome symptoms. My first OB I took the higher dose for 6 days and didn't notice a problem. 3 days ago I started feeling a burning sensation so I upped my dosage. My skin looks fine, and the irritation comes and goes, but I don't feel good and I think it is the Valacyloir. My throat hurts, my back hurts, I have had bouts of dizziness. I missed work today. I am going back to my single pill tomorrow. I think the next OB I am going to just take 2 pills especially if it is this mild.

IcanOvercome - want to tell you although I regret my disclosure, you are in a different situation. Herpes can be life threatening to a new born baby. I think you should disclose to this woman. What if you don't and this innocent baby has been effected. You could disclose by anonymous online text disclosure- any way you do it, you should, this is an innocent little baby. This guy is a creep!! Don't protect him!! The Gynecologist will not test for HSV unless there is a reason. Let this girl know! She has a horrible partner- shouldn't have to deal with heath issues with her baby. Lots of love to you, you will be doing the right thing,

I am very excited. My friend has fixed me up with a really quality guy. Age appropriate, educated, executive. We are supposed to get together the weekend of 3/10. He has seen a picture of me, thinks I'm pretty. I have seen pictures of him, not the young guys I have messed around with lately, but attractive. We have not talked, prefer to do that in person. If I am interested, I am going to take it slow, build an emotional connection before I disclose. The timing of this was perfect- I have been on an emotional roller coaster. This gives me something to look forward to, even if it doesn't manifest into a relationship. So I have two weeks to "get my shit together!" After my initial diagnosis I was so upbeat- after my STD testing and further research on HSV, I went to the dark side!! Hope I am past that!! I will keep you updated- hope you all find your special guy!!

IcanOvercome - I am not proud of how I handled my situation, I actually contacted the wife of my giver. Might have been a big mistake- but I also did her a big favor. I am sure I am not the only person he has been sleeping with. I just wish I had been more sympathetic in telling her. I talked to him later, several comments he made lead me to believe he probably knew he had HSV and was sorry. I don't know if he was just sorry because his wife wants a divorce or all the rest of the mess too. He said "This is all my fault!" Yes! It is!!! I sent you a private message - wishing you peace!

Thank you!! It's what moms do!!

Username!! Good story!! Love It, you are so right!! Just helped my daughter this past weekend, she's 21, not puke but a major breakup. Right there for her! She's going to be just fine and she was so grateful I dropped everything and flew out to spend the weekend with her! We both needed it! Had to see for myself she was going to be ok!!

itsjustarash - I know about the younger woman older man relationship because I had one of those!! 13 years difference, he cheated on me with someone closer to his age. I was only 20 at the time we broke up. I was very immature in so many ways. Always a go-getter but he met his match!! The gal he cheated on me with, he married. They are still married to this day 30 years later. I am glad for him!! Now as for my young men, put it into perspective. It is for fun, never going to be a relationship. Enjoy while it is fun then say goodbye. You should not be feeling desperate that your girl will stay with you. She gave you HSV. Not the other way around. You are not a better man because you have a young girlfriend. Enjoy it for what it is..then move on!

Freya - I have read your other post. So your guy is afraid to spread the HSV however he refuses to have a STD panel. If you have only had oral HSV - he is not very likely to pass it to you genitally unless he already knows he has it genitally. You should refuse any sexual relations until he has a STD panel done. I know you mentioned he just wants to masterbate with you - dump him.. give yourself glorious orgasims!! Why do you need him there to watch if he is going to refuse to touch you!! You deserve better, think you are hanging in there out of fear. I understand completely, I actually considered still having sex with my giver, in the future, after I found out he was married, cheating on his wife, and a liar!! Only because this would be my "free fuck" I didn't have to disclose. No way!! Never going to happen!! Give yourself time - you will become stronger!! Good luck, love to you!!