PresentMoment

I have not even made my first disclosure- although I have suggested text would be the route I would like to take, I don't know yet. Haven't been there, but I love all of the advise!! adrial, optimist, thank you for your debate!! You cannot even imagine how much you are helping people!! You are opening conversations and expanding our possibilities into something better!!

Last night I had a very positive experience! I went out with a friend and while she was running around doing her thing, I saw an attractive man sitting alone. I asked if I could join him. I am in my first three months of diagnosis so I was not trying to have a sexual relationship. For 2 hours we talked, just had a 100% friend connection. Listened to the band, a lot of Tom Petty, Bob Marley, some Prince!! We love the same music, grew up with hippy parents, talked about gardening, jobs, mutual friends. He is young, just had a real friend connection, never sexual. We didn't exchange numbers but I know in my small town we will run into each other again. I have a new friend!

Willow - I know this is an old post but what a fun, sexy story!! I hope you are doing well!!

I wish I knew something to say to make you feel better. I am new here as well. I am so sorry, just know you are on my mind!!

Good luck Monika! I hope one of the men will turn out to be really good for you!

First I want to thank Adrial for the H Forum!! You are helping me and so many people. You are such a blessing in a negative world! I rang in the New Year 2018 with a diagnosis of GHSV-2. I am a 50 year old female. I am fierce, stubborn, and very goal oriented - I started my own business when I was 23 years old. Very successful!! Killer business - six figures every year! Married 13 years, divorced 15 years. 9 years ago I stopped dating and devoted myself to my daughter. Focusing on her was the best decision I have ever made in my life!! She is amazing, gorgeous, works 2 jobs and is in college, a STEM major! After my daughter graduated high school, I thought I would start dating, I didn't. This was the first time in my life I was completely alone. I enjoyed my time to myself. In August of 2017 I started having casual sex with younger men. Basically one per month. I am 50 but look 35. It was my December boyfriend that messed up my life! Or did he fix it??? So the December man, gorgeous, all tatted up, muscular, beautiful! Yes all of that and after I checked him out online, married!! So we had been together twice in December. The second time 12/23. By 12/29, was having my first symptoms of HSV-2. 1/3/18 my appointment with my gynecologist, it was confirmed, I had HSV-2. I was in so much pain. So this is how I have dealt with this crap!! 1. Ok it's HSV, at least it not HIV!!! 2. I started Valtrex for suppression therapy. I am very healthy and my diet was already close to the diet recommended for herpes suppression. 3. I gave him disclosure via online anonymous disclosure. I hope he didn't sleep that night!! 4. I cut off contact with younger men that wasn't good for me! Love my life! More than likely, I will never know but this has helped me in the future! Maybe I don't get into the wrong vehicle, maybe I don't fuck the wrong person. I am alive and yes I might have HSV-2, but I am going to be here for a long time!!!

I know what you mean with the younger men wanting to text and not really communicate. I just recently told one not to bother messaging me again. He was wasting my time. Glad you have a date! Have fun, good luck!!

You're right! I think the difference would be if it was a casual relationship or someone I could see myself with long term. For the past nine years I have been celibate, focused on being a great single mom. I started having a few sexual encounters about four months ago. Rang in the New Year with my first GHVS-2 outbreak. I haven't had a real relationship with a man in a long time, I don't know how to do it!! I have become too independent, have to learn how to be vulnerable.

I just recently had my first outbreak, it was horrific!! I also had pain during urination and trouble being able to go. I found relief with a warm water peri bottle. I would slowly squirt the water, that helped start the flow and relieved the burning. Felt like the wipes irritated my skin. I used cheap white wash clothes (then bleached with hot water) to blot, rather than wiping. My gynecologist recommended I use Preparation H with Lidocaine to help with the pain. I did so initially but felt like keeping the skin moist was slowing my healing. I also sat on ice packs!

I love this post! Thank you so much! I am recently diagnosed and in the three month period of abstaining from sex. After the three months, I am going to try online dating. I will be referring back to your disclosure protocol. I personally really like the text message disclosure.

That is fantastic - thank you for sharing! I have not had to disclose (in my first 3 months) abstaining from sex. I really like the text message disclosure, the opportunity to say everything without stumbling and it gives the partner time to process.

I don't know that I can provide any advice on the HSV side of dating as I was just recently diagnosed. LoveTheMountains - Love Yourself!!!! I am 50 - and I know I am hot! When I walk into a room men see me! If you approach life with confidence men love it! Let them make the moves but just know that you know your something special. You don't say it - but it is just the way you carry yourself. Tao meditation has many practices for women that will improve your confidence. I have off and on done a toa jade egg practice for the past 6 years. I know this has improved my self esteem considerably. For nine years I was celebate while raising my daughter. Recently, I got back out into the dating world - the age range was 26-31. Unfortunately the extremely hot 31 year old gave me HSV2. Don't approach dating with an attitude of defeat- know that you are an amazing person and you will find the right person!