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19 male and lost confidence in sex. help!!!

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I found out I have herpes around 4-5 weeks ago after my first outbreak. The flu pretty much took the wind out of me which lasted a month easy! I have had no sores or symptoms for about 2 weeks now and very slowly getting back to myself. I know I am no way near ready to get back to my old high sex drive but I need some answers on some very burning questions!

Now i understand I have this responsibility. I don't want to put someone through what I am going through... Something the person I met never felt!!!! Lol


If after weeks and weeks of no symptoms and I don't use protection.. Will she get it? And not because I'm lazy but because I'm 19!! I'm like a rabbit!! lol if I use condoms every single time it will look weird, i will use a pack of condoms every 2 days lol and most relationships my age last 2months so I won't be able to tell them the truth.. And if she says "btw I'm on the pill" i won't have a answer!!


Also as being a typical male... I love oral sex!! lol but again.. If she wants to give me oral sex do I have to say "wait just let me get another condom"!? And if not will she be effected? Also I haven't had any mouth sores so if I return the favour is she in trouble?


It honestly.. And shamefully feels safer to have a one night stand and use a condom than risk the embarrassment and risk of spreading herpes to a partner.

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Hey bro,


I have news for you: Sex is still as fun and awesome as it's ever been. Just with more responsibility. But taking hold of responsibility at 19 years old is a great thing. It means becoming a true man. To protect your sexual partners is part of what being a man is. Taking care of your woman. Being honest. Even if it's for a one-night stand, you need to have the herpes talk, bro. If you're going to have sex with someone, the least you can do is be honest about sexual history. And the good part about that is that you get to hear their sexual history, too. You don't want to get another STD to add to your STD trading card set. ;)


So to answer your specific question of can you pass herpes to your partner when you aren't having an outbreak is YES! It's called asymptomatic viral shedding (read the article linked to below). All of your questions that are running through your head can be answered if you read the following links at the bottom of this post (there are tons of other articles on the blog, but start with these first). Please do read them and get all studied up on herpes so you can protect your partners and yourself. There's nothing sexier than a man who uses his integrity and heart more than is schlong. ;) Integrity a solid characteristic to have and build within yourself. That's what being a real man is all about.


So yes, sex has changed for you, bro. But not for the worse! Mark my words! I know that for me, sex got many times BETTER after I went through my healing process of herpes and accepting myself. Why? Because what makes sex awesome is CONNECTION with another human being. And when you care enough to disclose something like herpes, trust and connection is created in that. So it's not just having sex for the sake of getting off. If I want that, I can always masturbate or buy a blowup doll. ;)


Here are the links to read up on and get all filled to the brim with knowledge:











I'm glad you're reaching out and getting answers. This is the first step of a pretty awesome process. It may not feel so awesome right now, but it is. It truly is. Please let us know if you have any other questions after doing your herpes homework. ;)

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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I will be checking your homework at the beginning of class tomorrow. ;)

Note: This is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis.
I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

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