Just found out I have HERPES!!

[Needsome12talk2]

Hello, I just found out I have herpes. My partner informed me 2 weeks ago that he had herpes and I just got tested and also found out that I am positive for herpes, so I’m new to this and honestly I’m depressed. I want to have another child and I feel like I can’t. I’ve read so much about herpes but it’s scary due to the stigma around herpes. Lucky for me, I am asymptomatic and I have no outbreaks, but that fact that I know I have it still makes me depressed. I joined this website because I feel that I have no one to talk to about the situation. My partner does not want to talk about it because he’s depressed about the situation, and he rather not think about it or talk about it. Right now I just need support and someone who is going through the same situation to talk to. 

[mr_hopp]

You've come to the right place. I'm sorry you're going through it. But rest assured, we've all been in similar places, and we're all at varying stages of acceptance with this. First things first, search out an H Buddy and post there to talk with someone one-on-one. Knowing that you're not alone and that herpes is so incredibly common will help you put things in perspective. You will come out the other side of this stronger, I promise you.

And by the way, you can absolutely have kids! (If herpes actually held people back from childbirth, our population would be decimated.) 😄 Don't let the stigma twist things out of proportion. The only risk would be if you happen to be having an active outbreak when you go into labor, then they would administer a C-section. Other than that, you're good. 

You may also be interested in getting the Lifestyle Guides audio course, which is like having a resiliency coach in your ears whenever you need it. Reframing this experience to the positive is vital, especially at the onset. And you can start reframing all of it right now. All it takes is practice (and the right kind). It's strengthening a very powerful perspective muscle that will stay with you for life. 

[jessbeep]

17 hours ago, Needsome12talk2 said:

Hello, I just found out I have herpes. My partner informed me 2 weeks ago that he had herpes and I just got tested and also found out that I am positive for herpes, so I’m new to this and honestly I’m depressed. I want to have another child and I feel like I can’t. I’ve read so much about herpes but it’s scary due to the stigma around herpes. Lucky for me, I am asymptomatic and I have no outbreaks, but that fact that I know I have it still makes me depressed. I joined this website because I feel that I have no one to talk to about the situation. My partner does not want to talk about it because he’s depressed about the situation, and he rather not think about it or talk about it. Right now I just need support and someone who is going through the same situation to talk to. 

Hello there dear,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I just found out this weekend I have Herpes virus 2. I have been exposed to the herpes complex 1 when I was really younger. I am as well very devastated. I have also been experienced anxiety and panic attacks due a toxic relationship and separation as well, so finding this out is a cherry on top of this year. I don't know how 2020 could have hit me any worse. I didn't get tested for it, I looked up the symptoms. Had everything that it called for. I had a scare 5 year ago, where I had bumps appear in the same spot as this weekend. I finally got into the doctors but nothing could get swapped since it had dried out. I honestly don't know how it happened, maybe I carelessly had touched my face when I had a cold sore and had touched my inner thigh where it only has appeared, because I hadn't had any new partners in a while, and none of them said they had it.  I guess I can't rule out someone could have given it to me, and symptoms appeared years later. Either way,  I balled to my boyfriend and told him if he didn't want to be with me I understood. He was very much more rational about it then me. I was his end game, and now here are having problems where were not sure if we are each other's end plan. I did tell him it appeared, and his comfort has seized from the support he once gave. At that first time, I had showed him and he thought I was over exaggerating and looking more like ingrown hairs, although  the GYNO said he couldn't say for sure, but it looked like herpes. I was more hit by it it then by the overall shock of everything. I was so ashamed, and never felt more disgusted as a person. Somehow now that its been 3-4 years later of another occurrence, my mentality feels a bit more equipped to accept it. I am now finally understanding, this has nothing to do with my worth as a person. Lets face it, most social stigmas are ridiculous and are EFFED  up. If you ask me. I am 30, and if there's any great positive way to look at this, is the meaning of life is so much deeper than what challenged we face now, and ahead of us. Doesn't mean it's not any other matters it's horrible to deal with. The underlying is if you have a supportive loving boyfriend, supportive good friends (you don't have to tell of course) What more do we need in life, then to surround ourselves with people we trust and love. EFF the rest. If you need to talk more about it, let me know, I can give you my contact information, I am going through as well. And you are not alone, and it doesn't mean in you are in way less a beautiful human being. This isn't as horrible as the world as made it out to be. 

 

T