Day 2: Optimistic

[Zach1]

I'm a 27yo male in Austin. Got the swab result back yesterday that was positive for genital HSV1.

Here is my story, and my inner journey. Maybe you can relate.

When I got the call I was struck pretty hard, and spent the rest of the day feeling down. Today I felt down as well, but a tiny bit better. After reading through these threads, at least in this moment, I actually feel a lot better. Herpes is common, very common in fact, and is had by a large majority of all people (as you probably know by now).

Here is why I'm optimistic about my future and living a happy life:

I've done a fair amount of inner/spiritual work over the last few years. Although I still have a lot more to do, I've learned many truths, one being: I am in full control over my feelings and emotions. Easier said than done, but still true for me, and you. What does this mean? We can absolutely live joyful, happy, and loving lives if we have the courage to do the inner work. Herpes has probably made this work a little more difficult for us, but doesn't change this fact.

A couple personal realizations I've made while doing my inner work:

1. I grew up having sexual shame imposed on me, and sex being a "bad/taboo" thing.

2. Due to my upbringing I also formed a low self-esteem, and a general feeling of not being lovable or good enough.

Herpes immediately gave my traumatized inner child/ego an excuse to be more shameful, and another excuse why I am not lovable or good enough. But guess what? Before herpes I had a different excuse, and before that one a different one, and before that one a different one, and at least a few more excuses one after the other (not an exaggeration).

So I'm realizing that herpes is not actually a problem. The real "problem" I am facing is the same one I've always been facing, which is inside myself: my own negative mental programs that seek for anything external to grab onto and confirm themselves. Well, herpes is going to be the last excuse... I will do the work to accept and love myself fully with this, and then ALL excuses for shame and unlovable feelings will be gone. 

I know I'm going to keep living, and so the only option for me is to be happy and experience joy and love. That is an inside job. We all have this ability and it starts with the acceptance of this truth, and the willingness to do the inner work. It certainly won't happen in a day, and maybe will take a few years, but joy, happiness, and love await you if you have the courage to change from the inside, out. Much love to you all – we got this!

[Sarah317]

Much love to you as well!

[PTAngel]

So true and since getting this from a date rape situation I’ve been through so many emotions. Angry for putting myself in the position. Angry that I was taken advantage of and given this to deal with but coming to terms with it m. Sstill feeling quite down so have been exercising and making plans to live life and do things I love like scuba diving, hiking and travel. It’s definitely a daily  choice to accept and love yourself especially as I have an alcoholic father who was abusive and pretty much married the same kind of person with a secession of bad choices one after the other. Now time to love me which is often the hardest challenge 🙏