Complicated

[DeMar]

Hi,

New here. I'll try and be succinct.

I have been in a Long distance relationship for about a year. I've never had a connection like this and this week were are to meet for the first time.
Before meeting we decided to get (sexual) health checks. Everything came back clean as expected but the herpes test was skipped. I had to go back to my GP and push for the serology test.
My test came back positive for HSV2 but negative for HSV1. I was really suprised. I was certain I had had col sores as a kid although I couldn't be certain, and I had never noticed any symptoms for any STI so thought I should be negative to HSV2. I have only had 2 sexual partners in the last 20 years, 1 my now ex wife and a 1 night stand just over a year ago. I used a condom, in fact I've always used condoms. I thought this was "safe sex. I didn't realise. 
Either way I thought I should be very low risk so asked for a retest (results next week).

Assuming the positive result is correct, I understand the standard practical and health implications for myself and can accept those. The problem, the reason this is devastating, is that my partner, who is the love of my life, has immunological issues which make this a much bigger deal for her. I will go into that in another thread as I think this is just an into place?

But in short, I am devastated. Right now I expected to be floating on cloud nine, excited for spending time with my SO, starting our life together. I can't explain how crazy am for this woman and I'm nearly 50 so I've been around the block. Instead everything is unraveling before my flight next week.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what I expect anyone else to say. I'm going out for a walk to get air and sunlight. I feel like my whole life has been ripped out from inside of me. I will come back with more specific questions but right now I am only pain.

Thanks for listening,

D

[Sarah317]

Your story is so similar to mine except my current SO (no ex SO) gave me this on my last visit with him. I too was married 20+ years faithfully. Stepped out into the dating world and was extremely safe. My blood work shows my infection is new: positive swab and negative blood. 
 

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I will pray your test is a false positive and you can start with a clean slate with your SO. Talk with your doctor about all of this. Even positive you might still be able to be with her. 

[DeMar]

Thank you.
I hope you and your SO can work it out. I assume he didn't know he had it.

Unfortunately for me I think it is too much for my SO and she wants to break up.

I am crushed. I don't know if this is a typical knee jerk reaction and she needs time or if it is over. I am feeling devastated right now.