I just don't know

[mfox12]

I'm 19 year old sophomore in college and i've been hit with a lot these past few days... after being in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, i found a couple bumps down there. i kind of freaked out so i went to get checked. I don't know 100% yet because she had to send blood work and samples out but I have every single symptom i've read on sites like WebMD. the last time i had unprotected sex was two months ago but since i'm usually very healthy, i never showed any symptoms. I guess when my body almost completely shut down in the hospital, it weakened my immune system and triggered the symptoms. i've never been in so much pain in my life. i'm still in this why me mind set because i consider myself a good kid and try to do everything i'm suppose to. i feel disgusted with myself but i know whats done is done and i need to keep moving.

 

my next issue is a little more time sensitive to me. i've been romantically talking to this guy since the end of summer...shortly after my unprotected encounter. we had been friends before, sex friends as well. now we're talking about maybe moving forward into a steady relationship and where we need to go from here... i JUST found out but i need to tell him. i wanna tell him because i know he deserves to know and if this is a deal breaker for him, i don't want to invest any more time and emotions into this. i'm completely new with this whole thing so anyyy advice at all would be greatly appreciated. thanks guys.

[mr_hopp]

Hey mfox,

 

Welcome to the forums and I'm glad you're reaching out. Seriously, this right here, what you're doing by reaching out and sharing yourself is a HUGE step in the process of healing and acceptance. Please don't feel disgusted with yourself. And yes, what's done is done. What's most important is that you're here now, moving into healing ... As far as I can tell, you have a great outlook except for the self-judgment. Let the self-judgment go. It's not doing you any good. Trust me. It's only making the pain cut deeper and hurt more. Accept what is without judgment. That is the healing salve you need right now. Here's an article about that:

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-help-one-magic-phrase/

 

And about how to disclose to this guy, have you read the disclosure e-book yet? That's jam-packed with the kind of perspective shifters that you need in order to make the herpes talk less of a burden and more of a connecting experience. :)

Here's a link to grab it: http://eepurl.com/b4IPP