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It's been 15 years.


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Hello everyone, I have a question about the Transmissibility of herpes. I've done all the reading I know about shedding when not showing symptoms etc

 I contracted herpes 15 years ago. I have been married for the past 13 and my wife does not have herpes.   My herpes manifest on my butt cheek in the same spot every time about the size of a quarter. My wife of course is fully aware that I have herpes. In the beginning we were very careful but for the past 7 8 9 years we have not been. We have had unprotected sex consistently usually when I'm showing no symptoms. She has never contracted it.  There were years where I did not take medication and there were times that I did because I just felt it was annoying to get the rash occasionally. Can somebody please explain this? 

Also was anybody aware of an anti viral lube?  I can't find any would be nice of somebody made it.


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I hope you are well. If you celebrate it, Happy Thanksgiving Eve! 🦃

It's great that your wife never contracted it. Honestly, it all comes down to timing. Some people are intimate for years and never pass it to their partner; others may pass it to them the first time they are intimate! Medication use, severity of outbreaks, frequency of outbreaks, and the type of HSV someone has all can impact likelihood of transmission. Also, being symptomatic helps, too, as you can be more aware of when you are having an outbreak so you can avoid intercourse. Asymptomatic folks do not know when they are shedding the virus, hence why they may be more apt to take daily suppressant medication. 

In regards to the antiviral lube, that is a good question. I don't think that it exists. I also do not know how much protection it would offer because antivirals do not kill viruses (viruses cannot be killed). So, even if there was an antiviral lube, I think it would only really make a difference for the person with HSV (like it might help reduce pain or sores). Its kind of like... If someone without HSV took antivirals, it wouldnt protect them from contracting HSV. So, using antiviral lube wouldn't either (I am not a doctor but I am 90% sure this is correct!!!). 

I hope this helps!!! 

-- Grace

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That's a great question. 

So, since your outbreak site is located on that small section of your rear, transmission rates (I think!) would be lower than if your outbreak site were on your genitals, since there is less friction and contact with that small rear area. I am not a doctor so I don't know the exact answer, but logically, it seems that yes, the risk would be lower than if the site were located on the frontal genital area.

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As far as I know, and I'm not a doctor, the virus moves along the nerves in the regions adjacent to where you have outbreaks. So you can't guarantee that there will never be a virus in your genitals. Although it seems that in you they do not move because they always appear in the same place. Really only a doctor could answer for sure. 

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I find your post uplifting Lukey, and it gives me hope. Thank you.
I have read that the longer you go without outbreaks the lower the chance of shedding.
But I' still getting to grips with all this information myself so the waters are very muddy and even every doctor seems to have a different opinion on it.

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I read about it too. Elimination is greatest in the first year and in those people who experience symptoms frequently. If you are asymptomatic for many years, it is because the virus remains inactive most of the time.


 Not all doctors know a lot about herpes. I have the impression that there are those who do not give us due importance.


 Infectious doctors generally have more knowledge about herpes.


 But it is important to remember that we are not transmitting the virus all the time. Only a few days a year when viral shedding occurs. We take precautions all the time, as there is no way of knowing which days the virus will be on the skin, as the shedding has no symptoms.


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I wish I understood this better at least so I could understand the risk, you know, percentage wise. Eg: if I have no outbreaks for 20 years, wear condoms, take antivirals, lysine and olive leaf extract, how likely am I to pass on HSV to my SO compared to being hit by a car (apples and pears I know 😉 )

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