Happy Anniversary To Me!

[LifeBeginsNow]

It was about a year ago I got the news. Well officially - from the A-hole Doctor. I was pretty sure but it's a little different when you see it in black and white right in front of your face. I say A-hole because the Dr. who gave me my result basically threw the paper at me and walked out. But whatever, that's old news.

 

So over the past year, I'm pretty sure I have gone through every emotion possible. I'm sure all of you had some of the same feelings the first few months. I felt like an empty human being. I would see couples holding hands and get this feeling of total despair. I would only listen to sad songs. Life was just....there.

 

Thanks to this site and talking to Adrial, I finally got my shit together. I started eating healthier, getting more exercise, started doing a lot of yoga and even managed to lose about 15lbs. But the bigger change has been on the mental side. Although I can still be pretty hard on myself, I stopped beating myself up so much. I also stopped dwelling on the past and all the could haves and should haves. I take more time now to enjoy the little things. I am much less judgmental and I think overall a better person than I was a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I still have my struggles and insecurities but overall I am making progress.

 

Part of the shift though can be attributed to having a close friend pass away. He was taken away in the prime of his life. This taught me that life can be very, very short. Obviously I wish it hadn't taken his passing away for me to realize this. I think about him a lot and how fully he lived - he was a great human being.

 

I will stop because I could go on and on. Part of the reason I wrote this is because most of the posts are from women. I think Adrial even called this out. So there you go everyone - something from a man!

 

Adrial, what you have created here is nothing short of amazing. I don't have the vocabulary or eloquence to do you justice. I will just say thank you.

 

So to all of you that have been newly "gifted" - your life isn't over. Maybe it's just beginning................

[mr_hopp]

Ah, thank you for sharing, bro. And happy "Awesome Life" anniversary. It feels really good to hear from you on here. And yes, death does have a way of putting things in perspective. We could be dead right now. But we are alive. And we have a skin rash called herpes. ;) And we have a lot of other stuff, too. What are we going to live for? What makes still living worth it? It's up to us. Somehow, our perspective has to shift into the amazing thing that this life is. Sometimes it's a close friend passing away; sometimes it's suffering for so long that the suffering itself slaps us out of the stupor to let us know that life is happening right the eff NOW. Moment by moment. This is all we got. Thanks for the reminder and the shoutout. :) Big bro hug!

 

P.S. Oh, and thanks for trying to balance out all this estrogen! ;)